Editorial by S. Matteo, Editor, SearchMothers.com

There was a story recently picked up by my local news feeds, that talked about the innovative idea of having photos of parents accused of failing to pay child support posted on the top of pizza boxes. So when a customer picks up his pizza or gets his pizza delivered he will see about 4 or 5 men or women, possibly in his area, that have not realized their obligation of paying child support.

My first thought was Ouch! My second thought: Here’s another attempt at Tough Love.

First, Will they be caught?

Could this work? The answer – Possibly, since, yes I would imagine, most people running from the law don't actually eat out, they order food, as suggested by the original article. So that leaves the many pizza delivery guys and pizza store workers out there to be the main identifiers. Secondary identifiers are people who order pizza down the block from the guy in the mug shot. More identifiers might be those who step on the poster after it flies out of the garbage pail.

Still, with all those people working to try to make a clear identification what is also necessary to make this effective is to have the pizzerias agree to participate.

Say that just one-half the pizza places in one county in one state agree—such as Ohio. Then, truly this method is worth the try. That is a lot of pizza pies and if the trend catches on across a neighboring state (such as Pennsyvania) there is a higher chance of catching the deadbeat parent. This can really hit home, especially with younger parents who might be thinking of violating the law. I mean you can’t get closer with the lesson “this is what could happen to you” than with WANTED posters on pizza boxes. I mean people in America eat a lot of pizza. For instance and ironically, the record for most pizzas ordered in one night was the night OJ Simpson (possibly one of the most famous of all child support providers) was on the run from the police on a Los Angeles Highway. That night 94 million Americans were glued to their television sets.

In some counties in Ohio there are posters for deadbeat parents on the official county web sites. While counties in other states contract with bounty-hunter-type companies that can track people through furniture rental documents, and of course those Verizon or Cingular Wireless phone records. And I wouldn't be surprised to hear about how many parents find a way to pay their $200.00 per month cell phone bill…but not their $150.00 per month child support payment.

Regardless, all this effort is to find the “deadbeat parent”.

What is a Deadbeat Parent?

Deadbeat Parent, Deadbeat Dads, Deadbeat Moms. First, these are terms used primarly in the United States and clearly suggests a high disapproval among people in our society. It’s a bad word with a contemptuous connotation. Clearly, not high on the list to make the script of It’s a Big Big World on PBS any time soon.

The term Deadbeat Dads refer to men that have fathered a child, but fail to pay child support ordered by a family law court or a Child Support Agency. Similarly, Deadbeat Moms refer to the like---women failing to pay child support. And of course Child Support being the contribution from a non-resident parent towards the financial cost of raising their child, paid to the person with whom the child lives. Today, in the U.S. it is primarily the Mother that is awaiting child support. The level and conditions of payment can be mutually agreed on between the two parties. Multiple methods exist: via email, text messaging, phone, in-person, mediation, or if there is a legal dispute via a court order.

Fifty percent of the divorced Mothers that I know personally who have sought child support preferred to obtain it via a written agreement. In many instances it was a court ordered document, and in addition they have requested it be taken out of a paycheck directly, or for the father to mail it to them. In general, these mothers have the least problems/issues with their ex’s of all the custodial Moms I know. Why? Possibly one of the reasons may be that it is one less thing to talk about with their ex's at pickup and dropoff. Another reason may be because helping support their children this way is something they have come to terms.

Every Picture Tells a Story

In essence though, this pizza box-photo-opp story is telling an even bigger story. Not only that the overall trend among enforcement agencies across the U.S. is to use these diverse and innovative methods to locate deadbeat parents and collect past-due payments for many children. And when I say many I mean millions. And when I say past-due payments I mean billions of dollars. The story is not even that you can run, but you cannot hide, or about the millions of parents (mostly Moms) who have reached the end of their ropes in trying to make ends meet.

It is about knowing what the consequences for one’s actions are. It is what a lack of responsibility among parents can lead to. For those individuals who do pay child support, they realize that their child is the most important thing in the big picture. They are parents who are helping to pay for their child’s school, clothes, food, and shelter. They are supporting our nation's future generations.

Being the Editor of an online magazine for single parents for over six years, I have read story after story about custody and child support. I have heard from mothers about child support many times. Sometimes, I hear from Fathers about child support. I feel for all these parents, but, sometimes after I put my hand to my head and I say I really need to sell this website---I say please—Fathers, stop whining about having to pay money, or Mothers stop whining about trying to get more money. You should have thought about the consequences the minute before you had sex with this person... or the minute after you found out you were pregnant.

Who are more responsible?
Who is more responsible? Is it the men who father children and leave them in poverty or the mothers who get pregnant with a man she is not committed to and who has expectations of him supporting her offspring.

Is it wrong to have babies with guys that you are not committed to and honestly know is not mature enough to be a parent? Yes.

Is it wrong if you get pregnant again with the guy after it worked out really badly the first time? A resounding Yes.

Also if your ex-husband or boyfriend is the type of person to run from the law, do you expect him to send you a monthly check? I won’t even answer this.

Taking off before a child is old enough to take care of themselves is a crime. It is one of the worst crimes to a child. There are too many stories where people get away with this. I hope the laws and methods continue to improve (however weird they are) and these people are punished in a way that helps the child and teaches the deadbeat parent a serious lesson.

Child Support Expectations

And finally, is it wrong to have expectations that the father will be paying child support? I would say yes, initially.

Of course he “should” pay something. He should want to pay something.

Is 2 months after birth too much time to wait? Maybe.

Is 2 years too much time to wait? Yes. Absolutely.

If you as a Deadbeat Parent see your child one afternoon or hear about the fact that she is not eating well because there is not enough food; she is not well because of a lack of health insurance, or because she hasn't a decent coat, and she is failing in school because the place she lives in has so much crime she and her brothers and sisters are preoccupied with fear-- I would say Yes. It is time to contribute toward your child’s well-being and future. It is time to realize that there are consequences to your actions and it’s time to step up to the plate and take responsibility.

With millions of children involved there is clearly a crisis. Whichever is the method to improve the situation and whoever is responsible---kids are losing and we end up with a nation of children who are missing out on some very basic needs at the end of a long day.

About the Author
Sonina Matteo is Editor of SearchMothers.com (http://www.searchmothers.com), an online magazine for single mothers and mothers in blended families.