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Useful Lessons from Failed Marriages

By Alex Mugume

A recent study is revealing the hard facts that one needs to know, in order to unlock secrets of building a lasting love relationship. This study reveals that marriage is very predictable.

This study interviewed over 1,000 experienced adults ranging between the ages of 26 and 80 years old. Among these interviewed adults were the successfully married, the unsuccessfully married, the adult singles who had quit looking for a lover, those who were still trying to find their mates, and a few who had completely changed their sexual behaviors to escape the deep pain that hit hard into their soul. This study reveals information that has been missing.

Let me tell you some of what I found. Out of more than 1,000 adults interviewed, 280 adults had failed in marriage. They had a lot of stories and experiences, and I will only share a few of the hard learned lessons they had in common. Note that: the aim of sharing this information here is to empower you to understand how they failed, why they failed, and how you can use their experiences to enable you to make winning decisions to brighten your future. Please, study these findings:

1. As at the time of tying the knot, each of those 280 adults believed that their marriage was going to last forever, but that did not happen! They all learned this hard lesson; that being good and wanting to be successfully married is not enough on its own, because the success of your marriage truly depends on your husband or your wife. They proved that you cannot sustain a love relationship single handedly; it takes two to succeed. And therefore, it is important that you choose a lover who is right for you, and also finds you right to them.

2. They all rushed to fall in love, and failed to see the red flags which were right in their faces from the time they started dating. They confessed that they were emotionally attached, and had hoped they would be able to change their former fianc e(s) habits after committing to them. They learned this hard lesson, that you cannot successfully change another person if that person is not willing to change on their own. They also learned that it is not smart to force a mismatch, because it always leads to domestic violence and a future breakup.

3. They all regretted not knowing what they should have known in time, to make the right marital decisions. They were instead consumed by the excitement of the new relationship, the sweet gifts, the new places to visit, and planning their wedding, before truly knowing or evaluating the person they were committing their love to. They learned that regardless of your feelings, it is vital to control your love emotions and target your decisions towards meeting your long term needs.

4. They all confessed that it was a costly experience; and wished someone had taught them how to guard their hearts from the wrong person. They learned that their hearts were truly the most precious possession they had. But the other sad discovery was that, many of those whose hearts had been repeatedly bruised, had lost confidence, and preferred to stay as players because they were afraid of trusting or loving anyone again.

5. They were all pained not by the divorce itself, but the fact that their divorce was preventable, had they learned how-to interpret the advance warning signs which they had seen during the pre-wedlock period. They learned that making choices unthinkingly; and then hoping for the best, is being reckless with life. You have to know what you are doing every step of the way in choosing the right spouse. You also have to know how-to keep her/him successfully.

Just like you learned how to drive, and so you do not drive the wrong way after seeing the ''do-not-enter'' signs on the road, you can also learn how-to choose and keep your true lifetime lover successfully. There is no excuse for staying ignorant of these best loving skills, which you need to enable you to make smart decisions in building a lasting love relationship. It has all been documented, to protect your heart from future pain; and to show you how-to avoid these common and painful marital mistakes. You do not need to learn these lessons the hard way. It's time to stop cutting corners, and making wrong assumptions.

About the Author

Alex Mugume is the author of three value-adding books titled, ''10 Steps to Success in Love and Marriage, Self-Help Secrets for the Smart Lover'', ''How to Choose Your True Lifetime Lover'', ''How to Keep Your Lover Successfully'', and a new one titled, ''How to Resolve Disagreements with Your Lover''. More information about the author, the books, and best loving techniques are available at http://www.bestlovingskills.com

source - Article Warehouse

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