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i need some insight a.s.a.p.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 11:25 pm    Post subject: i need some insight a.s.a.p. Reply with quote

i am a 19 year old girl who just recently had a beautiful baby boy in october. The baby's father wanted to put our baby up for adoption because we didnt have the money or the emotional stability to raise our child. We found two wonderful parents who are perfect for the job. i came down from nj to do the adoption in va because thats where the adopted parents live. And now the birth father is trying to gain custody of our baby boy and raise him with another women. i dont have a job and i am living at place to place for the time being and i am so scared that he will end up getting custody of my baby. This other woman is a herion addict and is in no way a fit parent for this chid. i am just so scared that when the custody date comes i will have nothing stating that i would be a fit mother. All i can say is i know neither of us are fit parents but i would like to gain temporary custody of my baby boy so i can give him up for adoption with a family who is able to raise him . i dont know i just need some insight im kinda lossing my mind here. has anyone been through anything similar before?
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 11:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I never been in that situation, sounds confusing, first you say you want to give up your son for adoption due to emotional stability, although you recognized your stability condition and thats a big step to begin with, not too many people even recognized their problem, and at your age I think your off to a good start with raising your son, I know your very young having a child and now that the father is not around that does not help with supporting your son, I don't know how he is but it sounds like he does not want to give up his son now. And this woman he is with sounds like bad news you don't want your son around someone like that good grief, very hard for me to comment on this because I myself would never give my child up, I can do better raising my child because i'm the mother, that is just the way I look at it, if there is a will there is a way to raise your son, you sound very bright, you can still go to college and get a good career and raise your son, there is alot of support out their for single moms and i'm not saying to live off of welfare if possible stay away from it, that is not the only resource out there. But they do help get you started with a career that fits you, but that is just my opinion you are the only one that can decide what is right for you and your son, but they may come a day you have a great career and everything you need to survive if not more in your life and you may think of this day where you wanted to give your son up for adoption and want him back, you will always think of your son no matter what, your son will never go away. First of all definetly make sure this woman the father is with does not get with your son, your son does not deserve such a life to live with some hopeless woman, and the father sounds just as bad if he choosed this woman to raise your son, what is wrong with you, what makes any other person out their better than his own mother, don't you think he deserves to be with his own mother. Nobody is perfect, just because they have more money does not mean they will be better for your child, don't give up your son because you don't have money, i'm sure you can manage to raise your son, sure sounds like a big responsibility, which it is, but just think of the rewards you will achieve for both you and your son. You took good care of your son while being pregnant, so what makes you think you can't raise your son now? You can do it Smile just always educate yourself with every question you have on your mind. Parenting books, can be helpful they have alot of resources for moms and even this website is helpful with legal matters too, and education, and careers, you now just have to grow up faster blueroses 13, but don't worry it will get better for you. Well this is just how I feel, i'm not you, but I do hope you and your son best wishes.

Does not sound like a tough decision remember if there is a will there is a way.
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 11:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have been through the adoption procedure, e-mail me at Maybe I can try to help you out.
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 11:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i know from the drug experience with my ex husband the only way you will keep the father from gaining custody is to some how get proof of his girlfriend or what ever she is that she is a herion addict and then take it to the courts they will make her or both get a drug test and i am sure if one or both test positive for any drugs he will have a hard time getting custody just be careful and make sure that you tell the drug testing place that you want a hair follicle test and to take the hair from somewhere other than the head that is how i got my ex to have supervised vistation. i also said a lot of prayers if you can also find someone to write an affiadative on your behalf about the living conditions of the fathers that will be a big plus i hope this helps
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