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Flaird
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 9:13 pm    Post subject: Bailed on Reply with quote

I just got an email from my sons father saying he can't pick the baby up tomorrow night because he is busy. Less than 24 hour notice....I have no idea what I am gonna do because I have to work Friday and saturday and my parents are going out of town and my sitter left for MS after I picked up Aiden this morning. I made several phone call and can't find anyone else yet. I am on my probation period at work so I can't miss...plus I need the money more than one could imagine. We have had only had an order since the 14th of last month but every week he is late picking the baby up...he isn't giving me a phone number to contact him like per the order states he was to do and now he is bailing again. He did this for 6 weeks in a row pre order....not to mention I have yet to receive a penny of the 930 a month in cs I am go get because he says he cant afford it...yet he makes ovr a grand a week..nice! what can I do???
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barbara
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 9:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Flaird
Seeing you cannot count on the childs father being there when he is suppose to be, always have a back up sitter ready in the waiting.
Stop counting on him for anything, take your son and raise him by your self,as ,if he wanted to get nasty he could try to get custody, and the way the court systems are these days, he would probably get it. Be wise, Be careful
Barbara
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Teena26
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 9:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think in one way barbara is right you should have a back up and you should not count on him for anything. But I am not so sure you should take your son away from his father the smartest way to have the courts side with you is to make sure you always hold up your end of the court order. You can not control someone eles or thier actions. It is not easy for a man to take a child away from thier mother I just finisheda custody suit and in the end my ex was 20000.00 dollars poorer and I ended up with more cs. I know not every situation ends like this but keep your head about you and just stick to your end of the deal.
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ZiZismommy
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 9:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hello new here but I know how you feel my sons father was good for not being be there when he was supposed to be. After he found out that I filed for child support he disappeared completly.I always made sure that If i had to go to work I took my son to a babysitter or a family member and let them know that his father was supposed to pick him up and that he had the number to call if he was not going to make it to pick him up,that way I wouldn't have to miss work since I was the only one taking care of my son I had to make sure that I brought home a decent check. You may want to go back to court and let them know that he is not living up to his end of the court order. Keep your head up.
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Julie



Joined: 17 Feb 2006
Posts: 15
State or Province: Not Applicable

PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2006 10:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Flaird, you should definately have a back up babysitter. Is there someone in your church that could watch your baby when your ex doesn't show up so you can go to work? Do you have any family near you? Friends that are willing to help you out?

Trust me, don't push him. You are very lucky that you have custody of your child. Our judicial system stinks. Fathers are getting custody everyday and then pawning the children off on their parents or their girlfriends or their wives. It IS NOT hard for a father to get custody. My ex is an illegal alien and has been using a fake social security number for 24 years and he got sole custody last year. Homeland Security will not even deport him because the statue of limitations for fraud is 5 years.

You need to visit www.nancm.com and see how many mothers do not have custody of their children. The stories will literally tear your heart out.

Be thankful that you have your baby and that you can and do tuck him in everynight and wake him up every morning.

Oh, what I would give to hold my baby right now.

You should keep a journal and document every time that he is late or does not show up. You will need this later down the road. Document every time he calls and what he says. If he gets verbally abusive to you, DOCUMENT it. If you can record the calls, I suggest you do that so that you have proof of his behavior.
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myzima2000



Joined: 07 Feb 2006
Posts: 74
State or Province: South Carolina

PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2006 8:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

yes i agree with julie document everytime he is late everytime you do not get childsupport. if you can make him pay through the courts. every email he sends you keep ever letter he writes keep or make copies i know i have kept everything from my divorce so when my son gets older he can read it for himself but yea i also agree you do need to find someone you trust to watch your child for a back up never count on your babys father they are worthless peice of crap to society good luck and just remember you may have custody now but you never know when the tables are going to turn i always keep that in the back of my mind i may have custody now but i never know what he is going to do tomarrow take care
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flairdd



Joined: 24 Feb 2006
Posts: 1
State or Province: Michigan

PostPosted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 12:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

As far as me having a back up sitter I was recently able to find one. My friends and family all live 350 miles away. I am new to the area. The only people I know are co-workers. Barbara, you mentioned he could get custody if he wants it....he currently is being investigated for CHILD ABUSE and was convicted in October for spousal abuse and domestic violence. He has no chance of getting custody and won't try especially since he shows lack of interest in our son as it is. Every visitiation is documented (time he picked up/dropped off, what I sent with the baby, what was/was not returned as he has a habit of dropping off a child in a diaper despite getting him fully clothed...and so on).
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Sterling



Joined: 18 Feb 2006
Posts: 77
State or Province: Texas

PostPosted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 1:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I do so remember those days where I was alone, single mothering, with no help from my sons father. Anytime he was to keep him he would cancel so many times. I just decided I wasn't going to bother with him and gave up having much time for myself. I had a sitter now and than, family, friend watch him, but that was about it.
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