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daughter's stepsister

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Joined: 17 Aug 2006
Posts: 1
State or Province: Texas

PostPosted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 12:06 am    Post subject: daughter's stepsister Reply with quote

I am the custodial mother to my 14 year old daughter. Ex is remarried and his new wife has a 16 year old daughter. Our daughter goes to see her dad ever other weekend and occasionally will spend weeknights at her dad's. Her dad & stepmom and I only live 5 minutes from each other.

My ex has been remarried for 4 years now. My daughter's stepsister completely ignores my daughter when she visits her dad. The stepsister has gone weekends without even saying one word to my daughter. My ex has even asked our daughter if the stepsister spoke to her because she never says a word to my daughter and she just goes about her business pretending my daughter isn't there. My ex tells me that his stepdaughter barely utters a word to him either so he can't really force her to talk to our daughter. And my ex won't speak to his wife about the stepsister giving everyone the silent treatment cause my daughter's stepmom thinks her daughter does no wrong and that everyone is out to get her daughter. The stepsister will speak to her mom(my daughter's stepmom) but she won't speak to my daughter and rarely speaks to my ex.

Daughter's stepsister is not exactly a very responsible person. My daughter has come home telling me how the stepsister will come home at 3AM and Stepmom does nothing. Even my ex does not agree with his wife's parenting but he says its not his place to say anything. Our daughter has noticed how rules are different for her stepsister than for her even when at her Dad's house. On weekends our daughter is with her dad, our daughter has a curfew just like at my house and has to follow it. If she is late, ex will take away her privelges(like tv, having friends over) and he will let me know about it. But if daughter's stepsister breaks curfew as usual nothing is done. My daughter has come home many times telling me that it is not fair that her stepsister gets to do whatever she wants while she has to follow the rules. My daughter even asked her dad how come she has a curfew when her stepsister doesn't and my ex's response was that his stepdaughter is "not my daughter".

I feel very helpless as I am not one of my daughter's stepsister's parents. I make the rules for my house, while my ex and his wife have a his and her parenting. Ex parents our daughter and Stepmom parents her daughter. And my daughter is picking up on how her stepsister gets away with everything.

The other issue is that my daughter has started getting jealous of her stepsister because she is allowed to get away with so much. And if my daughter says anything negative about her stepsister such as her getting away with more stuff, Stepmom will start screaming at my daughter. Stepmom seems to think her daughter does no wrong, but when in reality she has absolute no control over her daughter and she lashes out at anyone(like my daughter) who doesn't think the world of her daughter. Her daughter doesn't even speak to my daughter & Stepmom had the nerve to tell me over the phone that my daughter should be the one reaching out to her daughter because her daughter is shy.

My daughter loves her dad, but is really starting to resent her stepmom and stepsister. I wish I could do something about the situation, but since its not my home I really have no control over the situation and feel so helpless. I desperately want to help my daughter.
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Joined: 07 Feb 2006
Posts: 74
State or Province: South Carolina

PostPosted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 8:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

well the only thing i could suggest is maybe your daughter could try to speak and be nice to the step daughter you know sometimes when someone reaches out to another person their attitude changes. there could be alot of issues the stepdaughter is going through that no one knows about like with her real father and who knows some children have a hard time with remarriages she may be acting this way because she does not like her mother married to someone else. as far as the mother goes she should be helping with this situation and not putting it on all of your daughter. maybe you should talk to your ex and see if not having his daughter come stay and see if that makes a difference you never know what kids are feeling esepecially at that age peer pressure is a horrible thing esepcially today. i would just tell your daughter try and be nice it may take a while but you never know what it could do kids always need boundries hope this helps
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