An Online Monthly Magazine for Mothers
Serving Single Mothers, Single Mothers by Choice, Single and Married Custodial Moms, Non-Custodial Moms
Home        MESSAGE BOARDS

SearchMothers.com Forum Index
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 



Knowing legal rights for single mom
Goto page Previous  1, 2
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    SearchMothers.com Forum Index -> Single Moms with Custody
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
k&mm
Guest





PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

hey Just remember WE ARE NOT INCUBATORS!!!! Yes it takes both parents to raise a child.
Here's a cup of coffee Brian, to wake up!! Mother's are being discarded faster than a father ever dreamt of being!!! I am one for instance and I was a fantastic mother. My exh has now disconnected the childrens emails accounts and won't let me talk to them. Last I checked I squeezed out these kids not him!!!
Back to top
Julie Johnson
Guest





PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hello to all, I lost custody to an illegal alien and he also has been commiting fraud for the last 23 years by using someone's social security number and yes, both judges know this because he was in court and under oath when he said it. It is not who you are, but who you know in Alabama. My little girl was 8 months old when he took her from me. I have not been given an answer why either. I am a wonderful mother and I love my girls with all of my heart. I do what I have to do to feed my girls and provide for them. Why would you take a child away from the mother when she is not unfit, does not do drugs, does not drink, takes her children to church and tries to be a good example. Yes, I have make my fair share of mistakes but rest easy now, I have been forgiven of my sins and I have learned from my mistakes. I am not perfect but I have come along way in my 31 years. I don't want my girls to turn out like me, I want them to be happily married and know what it is like to be loved by a man and be a family. I don't want them to know what it feels like to have your heart ripped right out of your chest and feel the pain that I feel everyday because I get to "visit" my daughter. I want my girls to be successful and happy. I do however want them to have my strength and determination to win this war. I may not win every battle but I will win the WAR! If he would have died after she was conceived, then she would have still been born but if I would have died after she was conceived then she would have not been born. I am not just an egg donor or an egg warmer and green house. I carried this life inside of me for 9 months and I gave birth to her. God entrusted me with this little girl because He gave her to me, not to any other woman on the face of this earth. I will not give up and I will not give in. If God wanted MAN to raise babies then He would not have created Eve. I did not have to "bond" with my children after they were born, they knew MY voice and they knew MY touch. It's a MAMA thing, you would not understand unless you've carried a child and given birth to a child. God will bring out babies home to their mothers where they belong and these courts will fall. The lawyers, GALs, judges, and all involved in takeing a child from the mother WILL BOW AT THE FEET OF JESUS one day. sunndays1776@aol.com
Back to top
cristina
Guest





PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hello-I am new to this site, but i have a real dilemna. I was a victim of domestic violence (really bad), I finally left my husband 2yrs ago. My problem is that I never told my daughters ( now 8 & 3) the situation. He has not financially helped us during this period. He still wants to visit with the children (primarily with the 8yr old). Should I discontinue visits if he doesnt assist us in any way,until our divorce is final? I feel that our children should have both parents but he is an absolute hinderance, and truly confuses my daughters. They think of him as this fun, great man and I am the evil mommy.
Help Sad
Back to top
Barb
Guest





PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

cristina
What state are you from?
Barbara
Wisconsin
Mothers Unite!
Back to top
#1 Dad
Guest





PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Christina, sounds like he is using PAS against you. You shoud keep him involved, especially because you could be in contempt if you hinder his custody time. But the state will garnish his wages and his tax returns eventually. Make sure you have a schedule and keep to it, do not let him manipulate you. Try to be reasonable and accomodating, but do not allow him to dictate how you are going to do things. Remember that if you try to keep them away from him on his scheduled time, he can accuse you of contempt and press for a change of placement. Keep record of everything especially if he is telling them bad things about you or threatening you. If you feel uncomfortable around him, have somebody with you during the exchanges or meet at a nuetral site where there are people around. Hope it helps.
Brian
Back to top
motherof4lost3
Guest





PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Shared parenting doesn't work, one parent always gets the raw deal of it. I know because I tried it and my ex did what he wanted and I always had the girls but, I didn't mind we were better off without him.
Back to top
slbennett1025@yahoo.com
Guest





PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is for Motherof4lost3 and Christina,

I envy you Motherof4lost3, I personally have 2 girls and they are with their father because he was able to hire a high dollar attorney, nothing more! I am trying for custody and I'm even fighting for 50%. I have talked with other moms and they told me this 50/50 is bull. The children suffer big time. They are in two different households and constantly being put in the middle and having to carry a suitcase to be transported to and from. I'm from the old school and I feel children belong with their moms because children need nurturing that only moms can provide. The fathers should be involved (if it's a healthy situation), but more often than not, the children are put with irresponsible, immoral and sometimes even dangerous fathers. Whatever happened with the children that stayed with the moms and the dads got them during the summers, winter and spring vacations? I feel those children grew up more secure, confident, responsible and respectful. These children are being flung back and forth like a ping pong ball. I think you're right that more often than not, one parent will get the raw end of the deal. I wish I had my girls back with me and I understand about being better off without him. My ex is nothing more than a worthless you-know-what that takes up space and oxygen. Thank GOD for the peace that I have in my home now, less mess, less stress!!!

Christina, do you feel your ex is capable of running off with the children? Be careful. Check with your state and get advice from an attorney.
He could try to use Parental Alienation Syndrome on you and you may end up losing custody all together. PAS seems to work more in the man's favor than the mom's. (I personally know, I'm going thru it). My ex doesn't let the children call me, hear my voice mails, receive my mail etc.
We are still going to court about it. I really want full custody but these courts in Southern CA are all about the $$$$ and since my ex made nearly 3 times more than me, they felt he was the better choice. It goes to the highest bidder. I wish you well and hope you will get the help you deserve. Now you can understand where the term...
"Disneyland Daddy" comes from. Yeah, they got $$$ to take the kids to all these fine entertainment places but not when it comes to support (food,
clothes, medical bills etc). Good Luck!
Back to top
PRINSESSKIMMI7
Guest





PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

HI, I AM ALSO NEW TO THIS CITE. MAYBE SOMEONE CAN HELP. I LIVE IN KY AND MY BOYFRIEND AND I NEVER WAS MARRIED AND HE IS TRYING TO TAKE MY LITTLE GIRL AWAY. SHE HAS AN OLDER BROTHER AND ME. I DON'T HAVE MONEY FOR AN ATTORNEY AND THEY SAY THERE IS NO HELP TO FIND ONE THAT TAKES PAYMENTS. I CAN'T COME UP WITH 1000.00 AND THE LONGER THIS GOES ON THE WORSE ITS GONNA GET. HE WORKS AT AN AWESOME PAYING FACTORY AND I ONLY MAKE 8.00 AND HOUR. HE KEEPS HER OUT OF DAYCARE SO I AM AT RISK OF LOSING MY 4C'S. DAYCARE WON'T TAKE HIM OFF THE PICKUP LIST SO I WILL EVENTULLY LOSE MY DAYCARE ASSENTANCE. I CAN'T AFFORD TO PAY FOR 2 KIDS. DOES ANYONE KNOW KNOW WHAT I CAN DO TO FIND ASSTIENCE? I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING.
Back to top
mamanot kidding
Guest





PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

record averithing, keep a logue of all events it will come in handy in court.also, show the court that you are capoble to make a living or going to school. make as many friends as you can to show up i court ann standup for you saying that you are a grate mother.
Back to top
Alissa512
Guest





PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hello everyone, my name is Alissa and I'm new to this site. I have a few questions that I need answers to. I am pregnant and due in Nov. What are my rights as a single mom when it comes to last name on the birth certificate? Do I have to include the baby's dad un any of my decisions? We are living together, but not getting along. He wants to marry me on his own time and he lets his parents try to run our lives. Can anyone help me an give me some advise? Thank You!
Back to top
ihatethedaddy
Guest





PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Alissa,
My advice...get out now. You can list the babys father as 'unknown' on the bc, but make sure he isnt there at the hospital to contest it. Men/boys often like to throw their penises around and cry 'daddy' just to control the mother. I've been there, with 2 kids and 2 ex's.
Back to top
Alissa512
Guest





PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank You to whoever wrote back to me. My computer screen is very fuzzy and I can't make out your screen name. I'm very worried about this whole mom thing. I kept the baby because I was afraid of losing my family if they ever found out that I had gotten pregnant and didn't keep the baby and because I don't think abortion is morally right. Now I'm not so sure this was the best idea because I can't get along with my boyfriend and his family. This is the first grand baby in the family and they think that it is theirs. My boyfriend is very happy about having the baby and he can't wait, but he has some issues about keeping his hands to him self and he is very verbally abusive to me and to my family. We have been together for four years and I should have left a long time ago. Now I'm stuck with him and a baby that I'm not sure I want. What do I do? It is so hard to get out of a relationship where things never go right and there is always fighting. I know it is not healthy for me or the baby. I'm very scared to be alone. I lost all of my friends because of my boyfriend and the people that we hang out with don't care about me as a person. My family lives far away and it is very expensive to live in my town on you own. AH AH AH!!! I'm going nuts!!!So sorry for all of this ranting ,I'm sure every one who reads this is going to think I'm crazy. I just needed to talk to someone. How do I coup with this and still try to survive in a normal fast paced world?
Back to top
ihatethedaddy
Guest





PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Alissa,
My screen name.. I HATE THE DADDY. Plain and simple. I do know what you're going thru. My ex husbands mother thinks that our daughter is hers too. During our divorce proceedings, she took him in so he could work 2 jobs and hire a lawyer to take my daughter away from me. Now this is a man who refused to keep a job during our marriage and support his family, yet he can work TWO jobs at once to pay for a lawyer??
Anyways, there is still time to save your self and your baby. You say you feel stuck with your boyfriend and a baby your not sure you want. Have you ever thought of adoption?
If I had known then what I know now, how my ex husband is a sex addict, and after watching porno movies he would crawl in bed with his illegitimate daughter ( from a previous relationship) Now I have to give my 2 yr old daughter to this man 3 days out of the week!!!
Children services wasnt interested in possible molestation reguarding that other kid he has, they were just all too happy to see ' a great dad in action'.
Now I have to worry if my ex is still wacking off to the pornos and crawling into bed with MY daughter now.
Anyways, if I had known all of this then, I would have saved my daughter and placed her for adoption, where she would be happy and safe.
If you do keep the baby, dont let your in laws walk all over you. YOU are the baby's mother. I know they dont think so, trust me, I am living with it now...my ex and his mother live together, make decisions together and raise children together as a husband and wife would.
It got so bad that my ex mother in law was making decisions for MY daughter. I had to have it stated in our divorce decree that her and I are never allowed any contact.
You say you live far away from your family? Is it possible to move back home before the baby is born? Trust me, if you wait until its born, I can guarantee your boyfriends family will have police and custody papers at your doorstep in a heart beat. If you leave now, you are still pregnant and they cant do anything yet. You can get a head start on filing custody papers.
If you wanna chat more privately, you can email me.
Back to top
k&mm
Guest





PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My advice ladies,
If he has harmed you or the children in any way shape or form, get out and then get an ex parte hearing and restraining order. Get him supervised visitation and make it to where he has to get help.
Love doesn't hurt.
Back to top
pimmee51



Joined: 10 Sep 2006
Posts: 1
State or Province: New York

PostPosted: Sun Sep 10, 2006 2:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Alissa...
Getting the restraining order is a good idea. First you need to lay out a plan. Figure out where you can go (family or friend). If you are not too far in your pregnancy, maybe you have enough time to get a place of your own.

The best thing to do is plan your exit carefully. Don't blurt out anything you are not ready to act on.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    SearchMothers.com Forum Index -> Single Moms with Custody All times are GMT - 6 Hours
Goto page Previous  1, 2
Page 2 of 2

 


Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum




Powered by phpBB © phpBB Group
©Copyright 1998 to 2016 SearchMothers.com  |   Legal  |   About Us  |   Contact Us  |   Become a Member: Join Now or Login