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Sole custody

 
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Peanut
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 11:17 pm    Post subject: Sole custody Reply with quote

hey everyone, i am pretty new to this whole custody/child support thing. My daughters father is living in a half way house, and has seen her twice in her life. Theonly thing he has ever done for her was buy her diapers. We went to court recently for paternity, and he wanted to see her that weekend. So i brought her to see him for like 2 hours, and he had to go back to his "home". I filed for sole custody becuase everyone was telling me to do it becuase it will help me better with court and everything, and i was just wondering what esactly it is. He told me he would give it to me as long as he could still see her every other weekend.(thats the plan we came up with on our own). But i just wanted to double check on what it it and if i have to prove anything to the judge. Thank you all for listeneing and any advice would be helpfull.
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Keila
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 11:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hello,
I just need a good advise..I'm desperate to have full sole phisical custody of my 2 years old girl, and the father will do anything to raise our girl with his new girlfriend,because he makes lots and lots of money, and I stayed home for 2 years for the baby...please respond
thank you
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Mybabies
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 11:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Peanut,
Sole Custody basically means that your ex will only be entitled to vistation and child support if entered in court. You would be their primary care and primary residential care. In my opinion, if he is willing to give you Sole Custody take it!!! If he ever wanted later in life (which most mom's in here can tell you) to take your kids, it will be nearly impossible to do so unless you do something wrong for an example drug abuse, child abuse. Take the Sole Custody and have the courts (if you choose to) to order child support and vistations rights for father. Best of luck. My daughters father and I were never married since I never went for custody he one day picked them up and never returned them. One year and half later we are still battling it out in court, which is HELL! Meanwhile, my girls are w/ them until this is settled! So again take the Sole Custody and run!
Cyndi
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Mybabies
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 11:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Keila,

Do you have an attorney? What state are you in? The most important thing is to educate yourself on family law. Know your rights!!! Do not settle for anything unless you choice to do so!
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katysmom
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 11:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hey peanut- if he is living in a halfway house, and has only seen her twice in her life, I wouldn't agree to every other weekend. That is so vague she could be spending nights in the halfway house and there is nothing you can do about it. It sounds like your girl is still a baby (read under 2 years) and most courts don't encourage children that young to go on overnight visits. I would consult with a lawyer before making any kind of agreement. Most consultations are free.
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Peanut
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 11:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey everyone. Thank you so much for the advice. I have court tomorrow about it, and im still pretty nervous. Is the judge going to give it to me if her father agrees upon it?? And is he going to ask me any k inds of questions either?? im so scared. im due in 5 weeks with my daughter, and this stress from all of this is making me loose my mind!! I dont plan on having mu daughter go to an over night visit with him. He was supposed to see her last weekend and never called, and the 2 times that he does see her is for like 2 hours and im there and never let her out of my sihgt. I dont trust him for crap. i dont know, anymore advice on what to tell the judge would be nice too!!! Thank You!
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motherquen
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 11:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Peanut... TAKE SOLE CUSTODY AND RUN!!!!!! Offer the father a 'step-up" plan where as she can spend the night when she get's older. The guy sounds like a loser living in a half-a**" house and also he is a perfect canidate for the "fade away" sydrome most of theese abusers and losers have. Kept strict records of everything dates time cancelled visits no-shows etc. this will only help you later and with sole custody you can move where you want. This is very important in case you want a life!!!
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Cheerios
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 11:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi eveyone im new to this custody child support thing. And today 11/01/05 i went to court for child support was granted full custody but with the agreement the fater has visitation right but see my sons father has not been apart of his life for 6 months and if i take him to go see his father its going to mess my son up because he does not know his father. what should I do. I really want his fater out of the picture but his father will try to fight for his right to see his son. Plus not only that but i want to move out of state and start a new life. How can I do that with his father in the picture.
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mamanot kidding
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 11:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

half way house? what is the reason for it? it will matter in court. if for example he was convicted of child molestation, drugs, or obuse, this may not be in the best interest of the child. and if you allow it, you might be vieved as uncaring, incompetant mother as well. talk to the attorney in your town.
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AZMOM
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 11:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

TAKE THE SOLE CUSTODY AND RUN!!! Just like everyone is saying. Do it and don't look back
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Taina
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 11:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What if I don't want child support from my baby's father, does he still hvae "parental rights". I do not want a penny from him, I just want sole custody. We lived together for over three years and the baby has his last name. HE HAS NEVER GIVEN CHILD SUPPORT.
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SLBENNETT
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 11:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Taina,

Depends on the state you're in. Some states (if not most of them) require "child support".

I always thought if the mother had solely raised the child, without the support of the father, that they could just move. But I'm finding out more and more, that it can be a very serious entrapment. The fathers can come back and claim that you "kidnapped" the child and didn't get his consent (doesn't matter the fact that he wasn't in the child's life or contributed any financial means).

I think the moms that are so blessed to have their children and be able to move on with their lives have it made. I know it's very difficult.

See if you can talk with an attorney or a legal representative to find out about you and your child's rights in that state. There are many women in jail (or have been) simply because they made the choice to move on (even if it was out of state)and for the best interest of their children and yet found themselves labeled as "kidnappers"
(how a mother can kidnap her own child is beyond me....but they have mangled and distorted the laws so much that the victims are labeled as the criminals).

We hope you can get some form of legal documentation to protect you and your child from this ever happening.

You and your child deserve the best and I hope and pray that things will change to protect our young.

Truthfully, if I had known that any of this was going to happen and I could rewind the times, I would have put "unknown" on my children's birth certificates and moved on. Yes, "father's" have rights, but don't expect that a "mother" will.

See if you can get the "Sole Custody" and run like Azmom says. Also, like she says, "don't look back....just do it". We wish you all the best and hope everything works out for you.

GOD bless you.

It's only common sense that if he (the father) hasn't had any form of bonding or providing for the child, that he is nothing more than a stranger and shouldn't be given any rights. But, every state is different. If if comes down....the state you're in may require that he has to pay, if that happens....he may try to get partial or sole custody to avoid his financial responsibility....just becareful. If it's not like that....run like the wind and be happy.
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Toni Sable



Joined: 28 Feb 2006
Posts: 1
State or Province: Florida

PostPosted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 7:27 pm    Post subject: Hello Room... I'd love some feedback ! Reply with quote

I am a single mother. My son was born recently premature. I was living in another state, with my boyfriend. When I became pregnant - he vanished leaving me to deal with my bundle. I arrived in the state I'm in now, I was 41/2 months pregnant with no one to help. My estranged mother offered me advise but when I got here, her boyfriend and I could not get along. As a result, I found a job and a female friend from the job offered me a place to stay till I get on my feet. I began having pregnancy problems and was asked to hold off on the job for concerns the walking was causing the problems. the boss was very understanding and is going to let me back to work. however, the female friend I was living with had some problems of her own and is being forced to move and she can not help me with a roof, the baby was C-sectioned after I almost lost him to miscarriage - he was born 1 1/2 months early but only 2 weeks in NICU they said it was safe to take him home, I named him Isaah. My Mother and her boyfriend took him in for a brief spell ( they are due in 2 months - a girl ) but this spell will not last past March, with no place to live and running out of time. I need advise. I want to make him a home, I dont know where to turn for hope. I am not giving him up and can make him a home but I need a start. I am looking for a helping start - not a handout. Please tell me what I can do.
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tina



Joined: 13 Sep 2006
Posts: 13
State or Province: South Carolina

PostPosted: Wed Sep 13, 2006 6:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Toni do you not have any family members that could help you out?? or any church groups or anything in that nature in you home town?
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