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please give me guidence, issue involving bipolar disorder

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Joined: 22 Apr 2006
Posts: 1
State or Province: Pennsylvania

PostPosted: Sat Apr 22, 2006 8:00 pm    Post subject: please give me guidence, issue involving bipolar disorder Reply with quote

My ex, "paul", and I have always tried to work together when it came to raising our son, I thought it the in best interest of my son, and us as parents to stay out of the court systems if possible. We were always good with sharing custody of our son and allowed him to see the other parent if he wanted, and when the other parent wanted to see him. "Paul" does not work, he collects social security dissabilty for mental illness. He has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder for the last 12 years at least, and in the past three years as also having a form of schizophrenia, like his father, who is in some assisted living program and has recently been hospitalized for halucinations and attempted suicide. Before which he lived with "paul" and my son on his days with him. I was not comfotable with this situation so I told him I would involve children and youth if he did not get his father out of there. There were other issues there too but anyway...
When we were together everything was great in the begining and then the control started. He was tapeing my phone calls, and he even bugged my mothers computer. Over time I lost all of my friends and even stopped going to do things as simple as going to the store alone because in my head, all the questions and accusations that would come from it became overwhelming and frankly mentally exhausting. He slowly broke down my will power and ability to stand up for myself so I gave in. I became very depressed and dealt with a lot of anxieties in the three years we were together and for a while after until I learned the power of your mind and regained the control of my thoughts For myself and for my child.
"Paul" to this day, even though he threatens me from time to time with court when his life is not going well, says things to me like "see things wouldn't be this way if we were together." There have been Four different women and their children, that I am aware of, in our sons life since we seperated one of which he met, married, and divorced all in four months. "Paul" recently got remarried, twice in a year, and managed to create two new lives. Both with different women, yes that is four new lives with four different women. His new wife does not work either and is currently pregnant with his child, and does not have custody her child from a previous relationship.
About six months ago I had to get a new apartment and therfore pay fot the apt. So rather than have someone else watch our son we always agreed the parents come first, and if they could not watch the child a close relative would. well now I know that the time I thought he wanted to spend with our son was really because he wanted it to look like he spends more time with him so he could get custody, have the control back, which he so loves and he will get the check I get from SS for our son which is only $263.00 a month. It disgusts me when I put the whole thing together in my head it takes me right back to when we were together. Now I see all the little things he has been doing to make himself look better in the court while he had me beleive it was in our sons best interest.
I don't know what to do, or where to go. I can't afford a lawyer and am low on resourses. I am truley concerned for the mental well being of my child and the ability of his father to raise him. If the government won't let him work because of his mental illness than why do they let him drive, and reproduce, and then attempt to raise these children? So that they can grow to be non productive members of society and mentally, emotioally, and even physically abuse other human beings? I haven't been able to sleep and I'm afraid to give my son to him on tuesday in fear I will not get him back until we go to court, that happened to my cousin, because we do not have any established custody.
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Joined: 13 Sep 2006
Posts: 13
State or Province: South Carolina

PostPosted: Tue Oct 17, 2006 8:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What state do you live in if you dont mind me asking?? Around here in SC they will give a parent custody even if they are bi-polar or skitzo as long as they are on medication. If I was you I would put your child in daycare. The social services has a program called the ABC program to where they will pay for the daycare while you work for up to 24 months. That should get you on your feet to be able to pay for daycare. Or maybe ask a close relative on your side of the family to baby sit so he cant use it aginst you but..... i dont think a judge in his right mind is going to award him custody not unless he can prove you to be unfit.. that is the only way... just keep your head up
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