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I want sole custody! How do I get it??? Pregnant

 
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gemini21
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 8:47 pm    Post subject: I want sole custody! How do I get it??? Pregnant Reply with quote

I'm pregnant and don't want the father to have any rights on the child. I think I'm being fair in that I will allow him to see the child every couple of weeks but with my supervision I never want him alone with the child and maybe when the baby is older then I may reconcider and feel safe leaving my child alone with him over night but for now I want to have sole custody. How would I go about doing this? If he does not sign the birth certificate then does he have any rights?
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bsl
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 8:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You did not mention why you want sole custody.
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gemini21
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 8:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry! I want sole custody because I don't think a child should be in that evironment. He lives in a house with his mother and 5 year old sister and his aunt and her husband and they have a 13yrs old dauther. It's a long story but we spent our relationship arguing about how they raise his sister she can do whatever she wants because they think that if they tell her what to do then they are changing her carachter and not allowing her to be herself and make her own decisions. Example when his sister was 4 she fell and split her head on the wall, well she did not want to go to the hospital to get stiches so she did not have to go and now she has a 2 inch scar on her head. I think that is crazy a child needs medical attention then you take them weither they want to or not. His sister hits her mother when she does not get what she wants the only person that little girl treats with respect and consideration is me. As far as I'm concerned his mother plays mind games and manipulates them to make them feel sorry for her because she is a single mom and does what she can for them which I think is bull I take care of her dauther more than she does. They are not taught proper nutrition they eat what they want and then wonder why she is always contipated, It's called show her what a fruit or vegetable is!!! And beyond that his whole family is either a pot head, or on cocain or on pain killers and his father is a heroine addict to boot and on top of the drugs they all drink.

When he was 15 he droped out of high school to go to work and help pay bills because his mother made him think that it was his responsibility to take care of her, she constantly is borrowing money from him when she makes 50k a year he works part time at 15$ an hour, does this make sense to you? And he is a nice guy he's caring and generous but still beleives in the way he was brought up and I don't want my child brought up like that. That's why I want him to be a part of my childs life but with my supervision this way maybe I can teach him the right way of things and by the time the baby is a bit older I could trust him to be alone with it. But the list of my reasons and examples goes on and on. So what can I do to make this work???
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bsl
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 8:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

To the best of my knowledge the only thing that you might be able to use is the drug problem within the family. Everything else will most likely get you labeled as petty and controlling.

Talk to a lawyer, but be aware that starting with court battles might end in the loss of custody.
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angel40706



Joined: 17 Jul 2006
Posts: 1
State or Province: New Jersey

PostPosted: Mon Jul 17, 2006 1:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i want sole custudy because my ex sipped state when i was for months pregnet. then he got a drug charge while he was down there. then he came back a mother before i had the baby. all he has been doing is drinking and doing drugs. we live three doors down for each other and he dont even come and see the baby she will be four months on the 28 of this month. when i walk by with her all he does is put his head down and dont say a word that is why i want sole custudy of my daughter
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Oliviasmom



Joined: 03 May 2006
Posts: 25
State or Province: Arizona

PostPosted: Thu Jul 20, 2006 12:30 pm    Post subject: ... Reply with quote

You had a baby with this guy its a little too late to say he is unfit.


If you are not married and he does not acknowledge paternity, the nhe will have no rights. Once you file for child support or governemnt assistance patenrity will need to be established and he will have rights.

So honestly, if takes you to court to get paternity and visitation, there is nothing you can do about that. Once you have the baby if neither of you file anything in court then he might disappear.

Just because you do not feel he is a good person, does not mean you can prevent him from seeing the child. The courts will determine if he can see the child. If you do not want him around, then don't file for child support either, that will trigger even more involvement from him.
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andreaburk986



Joined: 24 Aug 2006
Posts: 3
State or Province: Iowa

PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 3:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

See now I completely disagree, I'm in a situation to where I don't want him there any more. I filed for child support because I was only 17 when I had her, I'm 19 now. I let her be in his life because I thought he would change and grow up but two years later he's still acting immaturely. I am going to take him to court and I am going to get full custody. You have to think of the well being of the kid, not you or the father. If you sincerely think you can win full custody, then a court will agree with you if your heart is in the right place.
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Still in Love



Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Posts: 216
State or Province: California

PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 12:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Um... that kind of is not true... what your heart believes is not what the federal government mandates... It took both of you to create the child, and both parents should be involved with the child. The courts today will grant him some kind of visitation, and unless you can prove he is unfit, then he will most likely get unsupervised visits.

He will also get some kind of partial if not joint custody. Courts today set you up with mediation... if you can not agree while with the mediator, then the mediator will make a recommendation to the judge... letting the Judge know which party was not working towards an amicable agreement, and they will recommend what each parent will get and 9 times out of 10 the Judge will agree with the mediators recommendations... at which point if you still are unwilling to compromise, you are going to have to have an attorney show just cause as to why you should get what you want.
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andreaburk986



Joined: 24 Aug 2006
Posts: 3
State or Province: Iowa

PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 5:42 am    Post subject: true, to an extent Reply with quote

Still in Love you are right, the courts will try to make joint custody work but if it doesn't over time and you can prove it then the father might just drop out of their life which is what I'm hoping because he doesn't really care anyways. Like my daughters dad didn't even call us for a month until his mom made him call. So yea. He's also be doing alot of drugs and my daughter will not be around that so stuff like that will make a court rule kind of how you want, you know what I mean?
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Still in Love



Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Posts: 216
State or Province: California

PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 9:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know exactly what you mean, but the courts are strange... and what you think is a long time for no contact, they will not veiw a month as all that long, hell it takes longer to get a court date. It is a catch 22 most times... cause a man can drop out of his kids lives for years, and decide later... oh I made a mistake and I want to be involved... and the courts will agree with him that it is in the best interest of the child to have a relationship with dad... they view it is a bad dad is better then no dad at all.

I don't agree with most things the courts do today... and I really didn't like having to go to mediation and be all nice and give him anything, but at least he and I came to an agreement before we went in to see the mediator so that I was able to get what I wanted while still compromising so he got what he needed... the worst part in my case is if his family more specifically his mother was not pushing him every step of the way, he would not be bothered... I know he loves our son, but he loves to just stop by and play with him... his mom thinks he should have all this time. Hell, he has not seen him in weeks other then 30 minutes here or there... and it doesn't seem to bother him...

All I can say is document everything... log in phone calls, visits (how long and how often) write down everything he gives you... money, diapers, clothes for the baby... everything. Keep receipts of daycare expenses... cuase they are obligated to pay half. and be prepared that he will get something in the line of visitation or custody. Most courts today don't give sole custody out unless there is serious physical abuse...
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Mickeymouse5472



Joined: 10 Nov 2006
Posts: 24
State or Province: Utah

PostPosted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 2:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

First of all now a days courts mostly do joint unless the situation is real bad. So if you take it to court he will end up with some type of visitaion. You can ask for supervised visitaion, but that doesnt mean it will happen. Actually not taking a child to a doctor when they are injured is child neglect and if something worse happens to the child as a result then it becomes child abuse. (example: Friends child was playing by 4wheelers and kicked over a gas can and got gas all over her, then went and played by the bomb fire tshe was she was burned and didnt want to go to the dr, the parents didnt think that it looked that bad so they never took her, a few weeks later she was complaining about pain in her leg and they then took her to the doctor. She had gotten a bad infection in her leg and had to have it ampetaed. The parents where charged for neglect, for not bringing her in to the drs, then were also charged with child abuse and had there 3 kids taken from them)
Being that the child is not your x's child. It is irrelevant to your case. Drugs are bad, but you have to prove that too.
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