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Help with the laws

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Joined: 14 Oct 2006
Posts: 1
State or Province: Iowa

PostPosted: Sat Oct 14, 2006 4:02 pm    Post subject: Help with the laws Reply with quote

I have a 16 month old daugther. Her father and I had to go to court so he could get visitations. I tried to get sole custody and supervised visits. The court system wouldn't go for the supervise visitations. The reason I wanted supervise visits is because he was threatening to take her away from me and kill me. So I ended up with temporally custody. Well there is supose to be a final court hearing and I asked my lawyer when it was and he said there wasn't one set up. My lawyer hasn't really done anything for me.. He was suppose to get me sole custody and didn't even follow through with that. I have already paid him over a thousand dollars and owe him even more when I feel he didn't do his job very well. Anyways The father gets to see her one day out of the week and then on every sat. overnight. The court papers says he has her to noon to noon on sat. but we worked it out where I would drop her off to him whenever he got off work. By the way he gets off at different times each Sat. I am getting tired of trying to get along and do and work around his scheudle when there should be a set time. He doesnt work around anything for me at all when it come to that he would rather want his way on everything. Thats the whole reason I had to get a lawyer. It seems like he is getting everything he wants and I am just here trying to do the right thing and get what I want and what is best for my daugther. Then my lawyer said I should comprise with him and work together. So I take my daughter to his mothers house where the meeting place is to drop her off to her dad. Which I think is a bunch of bull as a mother I should have the right to know where he is living and what kind of enviroment she is in. He quit paying child support and he didn't have medical insurance for her because he got a new job and wouldn't tell where he worked. Then he usually drops her off after visitations. Now today he switch it and said he was coming to get her and that I would have to pick her up. I don't think it is fair that he can just do what he wants and whenever he wants. I need help if anyone has any advice at all... I am trying to do the best I can raising my daughter. I attend college right now and spend as much time with my daughter as possible. I fit my homework in there some how, she means everything to me and I will fight for her until the very end. Theres alot of pain and suffering like a emotional roller coaster. One day its okay and the next is a disaster. I just dont know what to do anymore, I want to call my lawyer and let him know what has been going on but all he does is charge me and and I end up getting nowhere anyway. I'll get a little something said and thats about it. I don't even think its fair that I have to share transportation. I think since he wants to see his daughter then he should have to provide the transportation. He so resents me because I am going to school and not working; staying home as a full-time mother. Its not easy doing this... But I willing to make a career for myself and my daughter so I can support her with a stable career instead of a deadend job for the rest of my life.
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Joined: 10 Jan 2007
Posts: 10
State or Province: Oklahoma

PostPosted: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

First of all you should have some type of job or financial resource coming in so when you go to court you can prove that you are able to provide for your child. As for him picking up and dropping off at different times I think it is reasonable to try to accomadate as much as possible but if it is extremely inconvenient then you should counter his request with a reasonable alternative. I don't know what state you are in but you should always tape record your conversations with him so if there is a argument or he agrees to something he can't take it back. I have found every attorney I talk to always wants proof. Tape recording and making notes, Keep a calendar, always helps. You have to let him be part of the childs life but you have a temporary agreement and it outlines stuff like visitation. If your lawyer isn't doing snuff for you then call the Bar association and find out what kind of recourse you have for getting your money back and talk to the lawyer because a temporary order doesn't last forever and there should be some kind of future meeting set up to work out the details of your custody agreement. If you plan on living in the same state til your child reaches 18 then a standard agreement is probably the way to go (your lawyer will know what your state considers a standard agreement) but if you have plans in the future within 18 years you should address it even if the attorney scoffs and your ex gets mad because if you don't and end up wanting to move later he can make your life really hard and you may not be allowed to take your child with you. Be vigilant about tape recordings and other proof. As for your attorney they should be doing something and if they aren't look at your bills from them to ascertain what the heck your paying for because no work equals no pay and they know it and have to justify what they are billing you for. Also ask for a discovery to be done. A discovery is a bunch of questions that your attorney sends the ex and his lawyer to be answered such as where he works, lives, what he makes, and many other pertinent facts that you should have. You must be well researched in what is going on and be able to back it all up.
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