What no one talks about

tired · Joined: 08 Jan 2007 Posts: 1 State or Province: Ohio

Being a single parent sucks. Especially when your deadbeat ex has checked out of the situation emotionally and financially. Every day you struggle, struggle, struggle and still life is hard.
Personally I have really begun to hate being a parent and my child is wonderful. Of course this has caused me to have major guilt issues. He deserves better than me yet is stuck with me.
At times I really hate his father for the freedom he has and I don't. I would love a life of my own, the ability to do things when I want, to live where I want without being responsible for anyone else but me.
Knowing what I know now, there is NO WAY I would have had my son. Parenting is just too hard, especially with no one to help.
It shames me to admit all this, but surely I am not the only mother who feels this way?

stunned · Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 6:03 pm Post subject:

You feel this way now, but you won't as the child gets older. and becomes more independent. be very careful what you wish for. the babys father can step in at any time and decied he wants to be a father to this child, it will not matter that he was not there for that child since birth, like you were. it will not matter you gave your life up for this child. all that will matter is that this deadbeat will be given his rights to your child. This will mean he will be able to take your child for weekends, holidays, ect. because he says he wants to be a father now. it will not matter how bad this persons past is. unless he has killed someone.or hurt a child in any way. my sugguestion to you would be to move a way and not let him know where you have gone. hopefully you were smart enough not to put his name on the birth certificate. you will meet someone some day that will be deserving to be father to your child. Good luck!!!

mom23kidz1 · Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2007 5:19 am Post subject:

Your feelings are real and true for not just single mothers but all young mothers. Because we gave up so much and didnt realize it but it will be worth it in the long run.

JRHunt18 · Joined: 07 Jan 2009 Posts: 7 State or Province: Michigan

There are some days that I feel the exact same way you do. My daughters father is nowhere around or helping. But everytime I look at my little girl it reminds me why I get up every morning as hard as it is. And even though he took the easy way out I am the lucky one. He is missing out on all the great things that our child can do, and one day you will feel the same way.

emmaly · Joined: 14 Feb 2010 Posts: 5 State or Province: Connecticut

Why are you still waiting for your rights to be removed at his convenience?
If you want to have a happy life without him coming after his rights, work and live in a neighboring state.
In the North East , New York State is the best mothers state to live in, Mass. is better than Ct. or RI.
Maybe others can suggest states closer to you that still favor mothers..

DianaLee · Joined: 01 Feb 2009 Posts: 17 State or Province: New Jersey

I agree. When I was single is was quite a challenge.
Dealing with child support, child rearing, and visitation and my god the ex.
I was probably the most surprised that there was just no single group out there in the community to prepare you for this kind of life and challenges.

The number thing that made me come out of it was prioritizing my life. Deciding on what was important and what I had to say "No" to...b/c I just couldn't handle the stress or didn't have the time.

Other things I found valuable

--Ask for help.
--still set goals for yourself.
--You can be your own worst enemy so forgive yourself and choose to be happy with your decision and the rest of your life.

--Resolve personal issues one at a time.
--Enjoy your kids.

Best of luck
DL