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son 2 months old father wants to share custody

 
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dravenkp
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2006 8:52 pm    Post subject: son 2 months old father wants to share custody Reply with quote

My son is 2 months old and I want to leave his father because he is emotional abusive. He wants joint custody where he gets him for a week then I do and back and forth. I won't agree to it so he wants to go to court. We live in MN, what are his chances of getting it?
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barbara
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2006 8:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

dravenkp
The university of MN is doing a big thing on trying to eliminate child abuse on all level's.
Get ahold of them.
Try to find other mothers in your position in your State. They are out there please believe me.
I live in Wisconsin but we all need to unite, no matter where we live.
Barbara
bfargen@jvlnet.com
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Anastasia042002
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2006 8:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dravenkp

I was in your exact same shoes three years ago, but things got worse for me and I got very depressed due to fighting all the time and not making up for lack of sleep staying up at night feeding my son when he cried. His father wanted me to do housework during the day and instead of sticking up for myself and believing in myself and taking care of myself, I did it. It taxed my body. It taxed my mind, which is part of my body. And I went from post-partum depression to post-partum psychosis. Mother neglects her health slaving for insensitive boyfriend, gets ill and what do ya know! Boyfriend gets custody! Going over and over diferent memories of different times for the past three years, I have come of with some pretty good ways I think I should have handled it. And it is not all a waste because I can give this advice to women like you It would mean a lot to me to be able to help you as I wish someone could have done it for me. These judges and family counselors of these custody courts are starting to favor the idea that a father, even a first time father with no parenting skills, should have equal rights. BS! All this flies in the face of logic and mother nature. They could never hone in on the instincts and bond we have with our newborn. When my son was born, I didn't have much help from my mom, even though she came over twice a week. We lived 12 miles away from her and with her scedule, it was a lot for her to come out during the week. My ex was clueless. He didn't even know how to change a diaper. Learning how to do something from an instruction manual cannot compete with instinct. I knew immediately what to do with my son- breastfeeding and all. Do any other animals have to be taught how to care for their young. We think we're so sophistacated and intelligent these days, we forget that we have instincts too. And Ob/Gyns know this. They talk about "nesting instincts" and "the instinct to push" during labor. Infants have "mouthing instintcs" as soon as their born. We, as intelligent as we are, still are just as instinctual as any other animal and to argue that a man can do just as good of a job is the height of stupidity. You don't need to take a college course to fugure that out. And this is also for all you men on here, who have been checking this site out and leaving comments on here that are arguing our statements that father's rights are unfair.

I am learning through a lot of these stories that my case is not an isolated one. And it's not just here in MI or WI. I'm hearing from women from every state. Fifteen years ago or when I was growing up, in the 80's people would have said, "No way! That's absurd! He doesn't stand a chance! Is he looney or something?" But today, times they are a changin'. I am seeing more and more people having joint custody or the father having custody and the mother getting visitation. My neighbor has custody of his son now and is even going to adopt the other boy who is by a previous boyfriend. At the place that I go to see my son for supervised visitation, I see a lot of other noncutodial mothers wating to visit with their kids. And they seem like pretty decent, clean women, too. Unfortunately, with way things are these days, unless you follow a very specific protocol, he very well could end up with a whole week with him at only two months old.

Anastasia
Anastasia042002
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