Joined: 06 Sep 2007
State or Province: New York
|Posted: Thu Sep 27, 2007 8:35 pm Post subject: Not yet a single Mom but I might end up being one!
|I am Grace and I live here in NYC. I was married for 2 years and 3 mos.
I lived here in the City for 1 yr and 4 months from the Philippines and I came over here with a K-3 visa which means my husband filed a petition for me as his wife.
When I was still in the Philippines, my husband told me that he had a room mate, a 28 years old irish woman, for 4 years. He said that he decided not to let her go because she is very kind and he can trust her more than anyone else (he even said that he trusted and respected her more than I do). She is always the cause of our misunderstanding. Then she decided to left the apartment to live with her bf when she learned that i got pregnant, but she left some of her stuff still in our apt.
March 5, 2007 I have a schedule for my amnio, the day before that, my husband learned that she and her boyfriend is not getting along very well and she would like to go back to live with us. That same day, my husband handed me a written divorce agreement and forcing me to sign it up, which made me so upset and end up in the hospital because my blood pressure dropped to 50/70 which is not good for the baby. So that night
I decided to write her an email asking her a favor to give us some room while we are trying to fix our marriage. She did forward the email to my husband and he was very angry with me because she did not come back and live with us. From then on, he keep on cursing me and keeps on telling me that if not for him I will not be here, and if not for his helped I will never get my conditional permanent residency, and he always accused me of having an agenda (which he refers to my immigration status- he is close minded thinking that I am just here because I would like to be an american citizen) His family was trying to let him understand that I am here because I love him, all of my in-laws are very supportive of me, which I thanked God, because if not for them, I might not be able to handle the mental stress that I had during my pregnancy.
Last night, Sept 26, 2007 my husband asked me if what is my plan? and when I will find a job because I do not have any job to come back to since I did not able to go back to work as soon as I can because of the healing process of C-section, besides I have problem with my right breast, I have a sonogram and they find out that I have multiple cyst.
But I do have a hint that the room mate is planning on coming back again, so he keeps on asking me too many questions and as much as possible he wants me out of the apt most of the time.
True to my thinking, he said she is coming back on first week of October. So I am planning of moving out of the apt since I do not want to go through hell of living with him and my husband. I am undecided though since I have a child that I need to give consideration with.
I know it is invasion of privacy to read his email but I have learned that she is very happy to learned that my husband wants to call the USCIS and he wants to send me back home. She also encourage him that to be a single parent is not so difficult (my husband told her that he will get full custody of child and I will end up going back to my country).
I am mentally and physically exhausted now, since I am the one who is taking good care of our baby most of the time, specially at night.
I know that this is too long, please just bear with me because I do not have someone to talked to with regards to my marital problem and I feel like I am going to explode at any time now.
This morning my husband called the police and told them that I am getting physical with him which I am not. It is good that the police woman talked to me in private and advice me to call the number for the battered wife. I am about to do that, but I am still thinking of saving our relationship if it is still possible which I personally thinks is very difficult for now, specially he has a lot in his plate right now. He was happy knowing that she will be back.
Thank you so much for reading these letter and I would welcome any comment or any advice that you can give - good or bad it doesn't matter because I really need to get more advice that I could.
Still hoping and praying for the best for me and my family!