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GRRRR...DAD WANTS CUSTODY- ONLY SO HE DOEST HAVE T PAY!!!

 
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mray1005



Joined: 12 Oct 2007
Posts: 2
State or Province: Massachusetts

PostPosted: Sat Oct 13, 2007 6:08 pm    Post subject: GRRRR...DAD WANTS CUSTODY- ONLY SO HE DOEST HAVE T PAY!!! Reply with quote

Shocked

MY EX AND I HAVE JOINT CUSTODY OF 3 CHILDREN, A BOY 14 YRS & G/B TWINS 13 YRS OLD. MYSELF BEING THE PHYSICAL CUSTODIAN,
THE COURT ORDER WAS FIRST SET FOR $250.00 A WEEK, ( HE MAKES ALMOST TWICE AS MUCH NOW) I AGREED TO TAKE $50.00 LESS, (6 YRS. AGO IN COURT) AND A FEW YRS. AGO AN ADDITIONAL $25.00 LESS (VERBALLY)... YES, I AM A FOOL ...
WE HAVE ALWAYS GOTTEN ALONG, "UNTIL I ASKED FOR MORE MONEY. "
I AM ENTITLED TO ALMOST $200.00 MORE A WEEK,
FOR THE PAST YEAR OR SO I ASKED WHAT WAS ORIGINALLY DECIDED BY THE COURT. I NEVER PUSHED FOR MORE MONEY, NOR HAD IT ADJUSTED TO HIS PAY OR THE CHILDREN GETTING OLDER..
WE HAVE BOTH HAD THE KIDS ACCORDING TO "OUR" SCHEDULES, AS I HAVE ALWAYS WORKED TOO. I ALSO HAD THE KIDS MORE THAN THIER DAD, 60/40
ALSO, THE PAST FEW YEARS I HAVE ASKED FOR MORE ROUTINE & STRUCTURE IN THIER LIVES, AS THEY ARE OLDER, DO NOT HAVE BABYSITTERS AND ARE INTO MORE ACTIVITIES...
HE HAS BEEN TELLING THE KIDS THAT THEY WILL HAVE TO DECIDE WHICH PARENT THEY WANT TO LIVE WITH, AND "REMEMBER WHOS DONE THIS AND THAT"...(WHAT A JOKE)
HE HAS DECIDED, NOW THAT HE WAS SUMMONED TO COURT BY ME FOR SET VISTATION AND MODIFICATION OF SUPPORT, HE PUT A COMPLAINT IN 4 DAYS PRIOR TO MY COURT ORDERED DATE. HE WANTS CUSTODY OF MY 2 SONS (THE 2 HE CAN MANIPULATE AS THE "POOR ME DAD") NOT MY DAUGHTER WHO IS A TWIN, THEY ARE ALL HONOR STUDENTS...
MY OLDEST HAS BEEN BETWEEN HOMES...(HE HAS BEEN MOSTLY AFFECTED BY COMMENTS...) LATELY HE HAS BEEN AT HIS
DADS MORE THAN MY HOME,
BECAUSE HE GET AWAY WITH MORE.
MY EX CLAIMS HIS CHILDREN ARE HIS LIFE, HE HAD NO PROBLEM PAYING $175.00 A WEEK FOR 3 CHILDREN , NOR THAT I HAVE
PHYSICAL CUSTODY, UNTIL I ASKED FOR MORE MONEY...YET HE HAS PUT THIS BURDON ON THE CHILDREN, MADE THEM FEEL THAT THEY SHOULD CHOOSE,
PUT IN WRITING THAT HE WANTS THE BOYS,
NOT MY DAUGHTER (COULD IT BE BECAUSE SHE ASKED IF HE WANTED THEM SO HE DOESN'T HAVE TO PAY MORE? ) AND THAT SHE DOESNT WANT TO PICK WHO SHE WANTS TO LIVE WITH!)
ANY THOUGHTS PLEASE!!!!
WE ARE GOING TO TRIAL,
I WILL NOT SEPARATE MY KIDS OVER HIS GREED!
(WHAT I GET FOR BEING OVERLY FAIR AND TAKING LESS)

I AM REMARRIED, I FEEL THAT MY EX THINKS MY NEW HUSBAND'S INCOME SHOULD MAKE HIS LIFE EASIER.
(MY CHILDREN AND THIER STEPDAD GET ALONG GREAT.)
HE PAYS 80% OF THE BILLS FOR THE HOME.
HE IS NOT THEIR DAD, BUT LOVES AND PROVIDES
FOR ME AND MY CHILDREN MORE THAN ENOUGH!
??????????????????????? ANYONE ?????????????
THANK YOU,
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Sterling



Joined: 18 Feb 2006
Posts: 77
State or Province: Texas

PostPosted: Sat Oct 13, 2007 7:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

File for more child support, fight dad in court, and don't allow your children to spend more time at dads house than the court order allows and it will keep dad from having a case to get more time with the kids.
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NannyM



Joined: 07 Oct 2007
Posts: 44
State or Province: Maryland

PostPosted: Sun Oct 14, 2007 8:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

If he makes more than you do he will still have to pay child support. My son has 50/50 legal and physical and still pays child support. He also pays for any extras that my grand daughter needs and supplies everything for his household that she may need there. The only things that get passed between households are things my grand daughter wants to take with her. They made an agreement between them that as long as the child is dressed for the weather and she is happy then she can take whatever she wants back and forth, and they will not complain about her leaving something they bought at the others home.
She is thriving with this situation and does not have a problem settling into each household for her 3/3/4/4 schedule. Grant it she is only 2 , but she does very well with it. And BOTH parents are allowed to call and talk to her anytime they please. She does not always talk to them , but the phone is put on speaker so she will hear their voices and she is encouraged to at least say hi and goodbye.
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mray1005



Joined: 12 Oct 2007
Posts: 2
State or Province: Massachusetts

PostPosted: Sun Oct 14, 2007 10:23 am    Post subject: U R AWESOME! THANK YOU Reply with quote

Very Happy THANK YOU FOR RELIEVING ME SOMEWHAT, THERE IS SO MUCH INVOLVE, I COULD GO ON FOR AN HOUR. I AM NOT VENDICTIVE, ARGUMENTITIVE... THAT IS WHY I AGREED TO $200 INSTEAD OF $250 6 YRS AGO, W/OUT IT AUTOMATICALLY INCREASING EACH YR. I HAVE WORKED ALL THROUGH MY PREG... WHILE I HAD 3 KIDS UNDER 1 1/2 YRS. OLD.

I HAVE DONE THE X-MAS SHOPPING....., HE GAVE ME EXTRA FOR THAT, SCHOOL CLOTHES... BUT AS A MOM YOU KNOW WE ALWAYS SPENT MUCH MORE.

WE AGREED TO NO ROUTINE BECAUSE IT WAS EASIER AT THE TIME, SO NOW THAT HE HAS MY OLDEST MOST OF THE TIME. ONCE THE $$$ THING CAME UP, HE SAYS I HAVE THEM MOST OF THE TIME, WELL OF COURSE THEY ARE MORE SELF SUFFICIENT.

I HAVE HAD (MY EX) AND HIS FAMILY FOR MOST HOLIDAYS EVEN AFTER THE DIVORCE. HE WOULD COME X-MAS MORN. EVEN LAST YR. WATCH THE KIDS OPEN GIFTS, HAVE BREAKFAST W/ME THE KIDS AND MY NEW HUBBY. I SET HIM UP W/ A CLIENT OF MINE, AND FOR YRS. WANTED HIM TO TAKE THE KIDS FOR JUST TWO NIGHTS (WITH FLEXIBILTY)
COULD I SLICE MYSELF ANY THINNER?
AS FOR THE ISSUE OF TELLING THE KIDS THAT THEY WILL HAVE TO GO TO COURT AND CHOOSE, HE MR. "JUST REMEMBER WHO GOES TO YOUR GAMES AND RECITALS" ALL 2 OF WHICH I HAD SIGNED HER UP BROUGHT HER, GOT HER READY... WELL IT MUST BE NICE TO HAVE A FLEXIBLE JOB WHILE MOM DOES HAIR NIGHTS AND SAT...

SO THE MAIN PROBLEMIS THE COUNTERSUIT, WHICH THE JUDGE MADE NO RULING ON MY 2 ISSUES THAT WE WENT FOR, IS NOW GOING TO TRIAL $$$$ INSTEAD OF TOWARDS THE KIDS. IT SCARES ME THAT I, "THE BAD GUY" TO MY SONS WILL FEEL THAT I AM THE ONE WHO MADE THE CHANGES, DISRUPTED THIER LIVES.... MY OLDEST WHO HAS ANGER ISSUES MAINLY TARGETTED AT ME, WILL GET MORE UPSET.(HE HAS THREATENED SUICIDE IN THE PAST) HES 14, WILL GET THE BLUNT OF IT. MY YOUNGEST IS THE TYPE THAT IS SENSITIVE AND DOEST LIKE TO HURT ANYONE, WILL KEEP THINGS IN. NOT GOOD!!!
HIS TWIN SISTER IS THE ONE WHO IS MY SAVING GRACE... PATIENT W/ ME ,HELPS... THEY ARE ALL SO AFFECTIONATE W/ ME AND I WITH THEM, THIER DAD ISNT HE IS MORE WITHHOLDING... THAT IS WHY WE ARE NOT TOGETHER (ATTENTIVE-COMMUNICATIVE) BUT WAS ALWAYS A DECENT PERSON.... I KNOW I AM RAMBLING BUT IT SCARES ME THAT THE SEVERITY OF WHAT MY EX HAS BROUGHT THIS TO WILL FALL ON ME AND THE KIDS WILL TAKE THE BRUNT OF IT. Wink THANK U AGAIN Embarassed AND ANY MORE ADVISE WOULD BE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED. Confused
NannyM wrote:
If he makes more than you do he will still have to pay child support. My son has 50/50 legal and physical and still pays child support. He also pays for any extras that my grand daughter needs and supplies everything for his household that she may need there. The only things that get passed between households are things my grand daughter wants to take with her. They made an agreement between them that as long as the child is dressed for the weather and she is happy then she can take whatever she wants back and forth, and they will not complain about her leaving something they bought at the others home.
She is thriving with this situation and does not have a problem settling into each household for her 3/3/4/4 schedule. Grant it she is only 2 , but she does very well with it. And BOTH parents are allowed to call and talk to her anytime they please. She does not always talk to them , but the phone is put on speaker so she will hear their voices and she is encouraged to at least say hi and goodbye.
Code:
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NannyM



Joined: 07 Oct 2007
Posts: 44
State or Province: Maryland

PostPosted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 12:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Get your children into therapy. Especially your son. That is the most important issue right now.
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