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23 year old single mother of 2 boys

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Joined: 27 Dec 2007
Posts: 1
State or Province: Illinois

PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2007 12:31 am    Post subject: 23 year old single mother of 2 boys Reply with quote

I am a single mother of a fourteen month old boy and a three year old boy. I was never married to the father of my children. I had gotten very sick from a bad staff infection when i had my tubal done. My fiance at the time would not lift a finger to help while i was sick. That resulted in us splitting up. I breastfed both of my children for as long as i could, i didnt produce enough milk. Since we have split up he has made my life a living hell. I tried to be civil to him and keep things out of court for both of our sakes. I didnt want to be one of those mothers "no offense to anyone" who used their ex for a paycheck instead of childsupport. I went through this with his exwife. I had gotten very close with his three daughters from another marriage. Which now i dont even see anymore. I ended up having to put restraining orders on him, his ex wife , i was getting phone calls all hours of the night, i had moved out of our house because he had threatend to burn the place down around me, even though the kids would be inside with me. I still didnt want to "take him for everything" i ended up with all the debt, credit cards were in my name. He kept the house even though my name is still on the title. He has only seen the kids t hree times in nine months, one was supervised. He has done alot of viscious and spiteful things so we ended up in court, not that i didnt respond and get ugly back, which i have no excuses for. i have bent over backwards for him to see the kids which has been repaid with spiteful and mean things. I am the full custodial parent. He only has visitation rights. He has only got them twice since he has been granted visitation, which i dont feel he really wants, i think it is his way of still keeping control over me, he knows the only way he can "hurt me" is through the kids. I think t hat is just what he is doing. THe last and final thing that has made me wash my hands and being "nice" to him is that he was not going to get the boys for christmas, which was fine with me, i didnt have to but i did offer to let him have the kids on christmas day, since my family does everything on christmas eve. he didnt want them. he got them over the weekend which was my weekend but since he missed the last two i was nice enough to let him get them, he told me to come on out with our youngest son after i finsihed shopping, said to just come on in, he picked our oldest son up from my moms house since he didnt want to go shopping. He said to just come on in its only me and the kdis here. i walk in and him and his girlfriend are piled up on the bed while the kids are sitting in the living room just looking back and fourth at each other. The girls were excited to see me and i looked at him and told him me and the boys are leaving. i left only to return with the kids since i know that regardless of what he did was o ut of spite it wasnt fair to the kids to take them. He is nothing but a mean and spiteful, chronic liar. He didnt get mad because i left with the kids, he was mad because i wouldnt come in and sit down with him and his new "as he told me she was" his boy toy. If she is a boy toy she doesent need to be around my kids. And THEY did not need to have their butts piled in bed in front of them. My kids are not there to spend time with whatever female he decides to bring home for the night. they are there to see him. He is just to stupid to see that. I have told my kids everynight that their daddy loves them and when he didnt come and get them i said daddy is working, i have nothing good to say about my ex but i dont say anything in front of our children about him. I told our oldest son that daddy couldnt get him because he was working, only to be told by my son that no daddy isnt working his truck is right there, right there as being at the bar. Is it wrong of me to stop lying and making up excuses for their father, to just was my hands of him and let him make his own bed and lie in it? I would prefer that he never come around me and the kids again. since he has visitation i cant do anything about it, even though visitation to him is a way to have control over me. what is a girl to do when having to deal with cruel,and spiteful ex's who use the children to shall i say own advantage?
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Joined: 21 Dec 2007
Posts: 8
State or Province: Florida

PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2007 10:43 am    Post subject: do whats best for your kids... Reply with quote

log everything that happens and i suggest that you take him back to court and bring up everything that he has done including the pilled up in bed with the kids there. i have a son with my ex and he does the same thing. he has visitation rights and only uses them to get back at me and a way to "think he can still control me." i am taking him back to court because he just stopped showing up for about 6 months now and no child support since day one. my son is now 2 years old. Take him back to court and get rights taken away or atleast get it to where you have to okay the female that will be there while your kids are there. You have to do whats best for your kids, not what you and your ex want.
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