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daughters dilema

 
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KJH



Joined: 29 Dec 2007
Posts: 7
State or Province: Ohio

PostPosted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 10:19 am    Post subject: daughters dilema Reply with quote

Hi, I am actually writing about my daughters dilema. The father of her child who has had no relationship with or provided any financial support decides after the child is 10 yrs old it is a convient time for him to assert his parental rights. My daughter up to two years ago when she married has been the main support person with the help and support from my husband and I, with me providing child care so she could complete her college and earn her degree. I had swithced jobs to be able to work the shift that best fitted her needs to go to classes and work a part time job. Even though she is married both her and her husband work so I still provide child care for my grandson. I do not regret doing this , but I do resent the fact that a father who knew he was the father from the start can wait till it is convient for him to decide to assert his rights. What kind of messaged are we sending out to the future generation about responsibility. The children are being taught about accountability and responsibilty in school, but my grandson is wondering why his biological father is not held accountable. My son inlaw has accepted my grandson as his son from day one and had planned to adopt him with my grandson having the same feeling of his stepfather as his real and only father he knows. My grandson does not want to visit with the father, but my daughter agreed to supervised so sh wasn't accused of being uncooperative. She feels like her and her son's rights are less important than a father who shows up 10yrs later. My grandson has had approx.7 supervised visits and he still does not want his father in his life. on his christmas list to me he wished he would not need to visit with his father. What makes the situation even worse the father choose the stepdad to supervise the visits and to make my grandson feel safe and secure he agreed to do it. The sad part is it was by coincidence the father was attending a baseball game of a friends child and my grandson played on the same team, I believe he could not handle seeing his son having a relationship with his step father and somehow got wind of the adoption plans so decided to cause havic in their lives. The father has tried to blame my daughter why he did not see his son, but even though she had tried to let him be a part of her son's life at first he did not take his parental role seriously , even though he provided for a son that is 2 yrs older than my grandson, so he knows how things work and was encouraged by my daughter if he was serious of wanting a part in his son's life to go through legal channels. This man has criminal records one of which is a stalking charge of my daughter and he tried to tell the courts he just wanted to see his son, but his son was never present when he stalk her and even hid in her car once. The judge even told him then to go through legal channels and placed a restraining order with probation time . I don't know how the courts look at the best interest of the child , but when a child is miserable and goes from a honor student to struggling in school needing to talk to a conselor I don't feel it is the best interest of the child.
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