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What do I do? and what are his rights.

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Ashley Barlow

Joined: 18 Oct 2006
Posts: 11
State or Province: Oklahoma

PostPosted: Wed Oct 18, 2006 10:32 am    Post subject: What do I do? and what are his rights. Reply with quote

I am 16 years old and I am almost 4 months pregnant. I am single and the dad left me and I dont want him to be either involved with him or my child. I dont know if this is wrong but he is a dead beat and he doesnt even care. He ran so I couldnt even let him know how the child he helped make is doing. I want to get child support but if I do will I have to let him see her? I dont want to do this on my own but I will if thats what it takes. I dont know what to do please help!!!!!!!!!! Sad
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Joined: 10 Oct 2006
Posts: 9
State or Province: Alaska

PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 5:59 pm    Post subject: You're not doing ANYTHING wrong. Reply with quote

First of all, don't even think for a moment that you're doing anything "wrong." My biggest frustration is when people claim that a child's father has any sort of "right" to access to the child or the child's mother simply because he fertilized the mother. If someone tries to guilt you about this, stand STRONG. And for the child support, go through CSED instead of getting a lawyer-- only get a lawyer if he gets one and tries to take you to court, otherwise just let CSED handle it. States differ on the issues of parental rights, but normally a father who runs doesn't really end up wanting anything to do with the child. Sometimes they try for a while just because they're mad, but they lose interest in this game when they realize that parental rights and freedom don't mix. Get the child support, leave his name off the birth certificate (this will have no bearing on whether you get the child support), don't ever give up any rights or control, and don't ever feel guilty. If you need extra advice to help empower you, go to my web site. If you're interested in my book (The Single Woman's Guide to a Happy Pregnancy), you can order it on my web site, or, or it will be available at book stores starting November 15th. It covers everything from custody to finances, to nutrition, to keeping your life moving forward, to feminist issues, to future romance... everything. Glad to see you're not giving your child up for adoption. And congratulations!
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Joined: 07 Nov 2006
Posts: 1
State or Province: California

PostPosted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 5:44 pm    Post subject: Not Easy Reply with quote

Of course you can get child support and I would highly recommend going through your state organization to do so.

Every state deals with custodial rights differently. Please be aware that men are getting more and more vocal about being involved in their childs life and they can come along at anytime and request such rights.

My only advise is to get along as best as you can (or appear to) with the childs Dad. Remember that YOU are the solid person in your childs life but it doesn't benefit the child when they continually hear negative things about their father. It can be very damaging to them!

I wish you the best!!! You sound like a very strong, smart women!
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Joined: 17 Feb 2008
Posts: 1
State or Province: Tennessee

PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 3:13 pm    Post subject: Creepy dads Reply with quote

I too am going throush a similar situation, and I go rounds with the baby's father on a weekly basis. He refuses to be involved beacause he thinks I have been "mean to him", when actually all I have spoken was the truth. I am 17 weeks now and he has only called me once the entire time, yet he thinks he is going to get custody of the child. LOL !! I have news for him. If I can do it, he won't get any rights at all, nor does he deserve them. Don't let that guy get the best of you, girl. He doesn't have a leg to stand on.
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Still in Love

Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Posts: 216
State or Province: California

PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 9:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Actually... I would not get your hopes set on him not getting rights...

You can delay them by not putting him on the birth certificate, but all he has to do is sue you in court for paternity, once he gets the results back, the courts will instill all his parental rights to him. While no he won't get total custody of the child, he will however get some custody and visitation.

If I were you, I would start talking with an attorney, see what is fair, and be prepared, cause Father's have just as much right as mothers, and no they don't have to do crap for you the entire pregnancy...

The federal government does not consider your pregnancy a child till it is born. He owes you nothing, but the day that the child takes that first breath, that is when his rights and responsibilities begin.
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