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new here (sorry long post)

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Joined: 20 Mar 2008
Posts: 1
State or Province: Pennsylvania

PostPosted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 1:03 pm    Post subject: new here (sorry long post) Reply with quote

I'm new here and wanted to share my story. I'm a non-custodial mom. I've been without my 2 precious ones since 2001. It's difficult for me to go into specifics because I'm currently fighting to change custody and have major fears about the ex's attorney or someone reading what I post. Nothing is safe on the internet. But I will try. Dad lives on the west coast, so I have my kiddos in the summer and at Christmas. I lost custody when I relocated to the east coast to be with my family. I filed to move the kids, but lost. I so badly wanted to raise them in a small town, the kind you think doesnt exist any more, instead of the big bad city they were born in. The judge just didn't see it my way. No real reason, just nope, the kids cant move, they're doing fine with dad. So, here I was, with my family, in a great environment, but no kids. No money to go back either since every dime I had was spent on a horrible attorney. So I tried to accept my fate and live with the consequences of doing what I really thought was best for my kids. I never in a million years thought I wouldn't be able to move them. Hard as it is some days, life did continue. I met an incredible man, and am now remarried. He loves the kids, they love him. The little time we do all have together is amazing. I always say I'm actually a better mother now, because I actually appreciate them more. Kinda strange, but I'm more tolerant, patient, and willing to hang out with them and do whatever goofy, silly thing they want. Fast forward to the present. My children are doing poorly in school. I have amazing resources at my fingertips to help them educationally in ways most parents don't. I've begged their father to let them come here to take advantage, but he is now and always has been about controlling me. So this is his way of still being able to do that. He's fighting me tooth and nail. My new husband, supportive as he is, has laid out every dime for the new attorney. I feel so guilty that he has done this for me, as it looks as though we may lose the case. Over 20K, gone, for me to still be told the kids can't live with me. We haven't been to court yet, but it's coming up in the next few weeks. The supposed "expert" has handing in a report full of hogwash saying the kids are still doing great and there's no reason to move them. It's really horrible, because it is so untrue. Failing classes for years in a row is not doing well. We have volumes of evidence that supports our claim for custody. Facts, not made up hearsay. It really seems like the system is against me. Did I mention the ex is in law enforcement? It's like a secret club, and they all stick together. Now, faced yet again with the possibility of not getting custody, I feel so alone. I feel that I've somehow failed those wonderful kids. I'm amazed I've not found this site before, and was looking for some support from other mom's like me. If anyone has some feedback, that would be great.
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Joined: 30 Sep 2007
Posts: 5
State or Province: New York

PostPosted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:10 pm    Post subject: Hi mommyk Reply with quote

I do understand your situation. I have been without my daughter since
1994. My ex bullies me all the time. Loves to have control. She is almost out of school and has no direction. He thinks its better for her to get a job, but she doesn't have any experience. She doesn't drive and is almost 18. I have tryed so many times to talk with him but nothing ever changes. I am stuck watching her suffer and myself too. I pray alot just for God to give me blessings because at this point it is very hard.
Now I also have to do all the travelling too. I live 1 1/2 to 2 hours away.
I have been getting sick from stress. My immune system is not very good. But I know I have to see her. She still is part of me and I love her very much. No matter what aggrevation there is around me. You are blessed to have remarried I never did and I face this mess alone.
I wish I could make something happen I am tired of sitting on this mess and it not changing at all. Very stressful. I am truly hoping something happens in my life that would make a possitve change but I just don't know...My family doesn't support either it is just very messy
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