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Battling ex and new wife!!!

 
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lisamarie10
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 9:50 am    Post subject: Battling ex and new wife!!! Reply with quote

Well me and my ex were together for 10 yrs, he was violent, he was in drugs real bad, and then we had two boys and I had to get out, but he decides to buy me a house to maybe we can work things out, things get worst,He starts seeing the neighbor, In a violent rage of choking me one night I take my boys and leave. He was very controlling, so he allowed noone in my life, then I met my new husband, and then the real trouble started, his new wife and him started hiding the boys from me, we got joint custody, but I pay child support, I now have two children from my recent marriage, and I have been in and out of court, them trying to take my boys and the new wife and i have been in and out of court, she is a royal itch, she hangs up on me and she tried to run over me with my little boy in my arms, I am on probation now for commitcating threats because i told her she needed to stay out of our business when it come to them boys, and she told the judge she feared for her life and you know how the story goes. Me and my ex cant even discuss nothing because she wont allow it, and my marriage is on the rocks because my husband cant put up with all the problems they have caused, my life is crumbling down in front of me, I love all my children and would love nothing more than to see them happy, but there fathers dont intend to make this easy for me, I am in couseling because of depression and somethimes I feel as though theres not noone in this world that really knows how i feel, our children are a blessing and I truly dont think any man could really understand what we would go through for our children, I grew up abused by my stepfather and in foster homes, I never really knew happiness til I had my babies, To my ex its not about the love for the children its about, control and not about what the children really want. My heart goes out to all of you, I know in this last year,I really couldnt have made it through without the love of my children, I have my bad days and some good, A friend would be good to have so if anyone would like to chat please do! ewilliams1199@nc.rr.com lisa
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#1 Dad
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 9:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lisa,
sounds like a pretty tough situation. I would recommend you and the childrens father talk privately, in a public place to be safe, and try to work out some issues. Perhaps agreeing to not communicate through the step parents, have a nuetral exchange site, attend counseling for the two of you, and not drag down your current spouses by burdening them with your problems in these matters too much. You can always vent here or with other support groups and feel better that you are not doing it to your new husband. Remember to always think of the children first and try to deflect the negative pressures by her or others as you know you are doing the right thing. If you can't speak directly to him, perhaps email or letters would work better. Be sure that you do have to communicate at some level and keep trying to find an effective way to do so.
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lisamarie10
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 9:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for your advice, His new wife wont allow it, Ive tried everything nothing works, They even try to plan things on my weekend so the boys dont know what to do, because they promise to take them camping or to the beach, on easter they wanted to take them camping and my five yr old wanted to go, I said fine, my eight year old came and saw me and i ask him why he didnt go he said mom I odnt think its fair dad gets to see us all the time and you dont get to see us hardly any. We just got out of court two weeks ago and he wanted to try to take them from me, but he didnt succeed, he showed his temper, and then He met me at my car and hollered at me, if i didnt do the things he wanted I would never see my children again, He is a very hateful angry person, And i have fought for this marriage i have but its fallen apart, and I dont think I'll ever be in another relationship because I have four children I pay child support, and I am so scarred from being stepped on, I know children need a happy and healthy family, But in this era its hard to find familys that are really happy, I have to do the best in trying to be a mother to my children and fight for what god gave me.
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#1 Dad
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 9:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lisa,
Be sure to document everything that is done to keep you form your children. Record conversations, take notes, video tape and have witnesses. This can be a tedius task, but your kids need you. Also, do not let hie take your time away from you unless you are in agreement and he offers make up time. The court may reduce your placement time if they believe you are not excersizing your current time. Also, don't be afraid to ask for additional time, record his refusal to have liberal placement with them. Call to talk to your children often(I am sure you do anyway), and keep records of everything. You can show how much you love your children, try to stay involved and that they are keeping you away. Talk to a few attorneys also. The first half hour is usually free and they may be helpfull. Some will even do pro-bono work form time to time. They are urged to by the wisconsin state bar assoc.
Good luck, keep your chin up!
Brian
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lisamarie10
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 9:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well my court was two weeks ago, and how I came upon a lawyer, My mother-in-laws lawyer heard about my case and he wanted to take it on, because I had taken my ex's lawyer on in court and didnt do to bad, but still could have used a lawyer. Well now he has represented me, and my ex is furious and this lawyer told me as far as a bill, just wait and I could pay him so much a month until paid in full, He looked like a angel to me, I was about to lose my kids and there he was, and there i was no money to afford a lawyer, just having bad issues. I will keep my head up because my children need me, I dont have alot of support,I in live in nc and my family lives in georgia, one day i know my children will look back and know I nver gave up. Lisa
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#1 Dad
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 9:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lisa,
have you considered moving to be close to them? Geographic distance is a big problem in your case, or so it would seem. It amy be difficult, but consider it for the sake of your children.
Brian
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Barb
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 9:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

lisamarie10
Keep fighting for custody of your children, no one loves or wants to protect your children like you do. Nothing worse than a step mother trying to get husband out of paying child support, some of the worse malicious liars you will ever encounter, as you are experiencing. Try to contact other mothers in your state going through the same thing, we must unite and stop the ripping of children out of their mothers arms, this is our Nations Shame.
Feel free to contact me
Barbara
Wisconsin
Mothers Unite!
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lisamarie10
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 9:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Brian, I do live near them, my family lives in georgia, not me, I live about 5 miles from them, Each day i pray to god that my babies will come home to me, My mother gave up on me when I was very young and I made a promise that I would never do the same to my children, my boys always want me to hold them one is six and the other eight, I was putting them to bed one night and christopher my eight year old, ask me momma will you hug me, I said sure baby whats wrong, he said we dont get hugs at home, I cant take their pain away but I can make it better, why do the children have to suffer? I know not all dads are bad and I wouldnt even say my ex is bad its just he has turned into someone I dont know since he married this woman, And actually in reality I have been praying for them also, because someone needs to, this has been a long going battle for me, and each and everyday I hold my head up and tell myself, I am no longer in a relationship with him and he cant control me, and I am not backing down to his and his new wifes ways in wanting to change my life to suit theres, they dont like my husband, but he expects me to like his wife, I could give you so much more on this story but for now i am through. Lisa
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lisamarie10
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 9:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

hi Barb! Thanks I know where your coming from, she is such a liar, she is very jealous over him, acts like I want him back, and thats so far from the truth. If it werent for them babies I would ever think of looking at him ever again. I have been trying to find some support groups on line, I dont have many friend because I find trust a big issue, havent had to many trustworthy friends. And you better believe it I wont give up on my babys, I live in a small town and the court house is pretty small and I have seen most of the judges or lawyers, and one told me one day, you hang in there you will get them babies back, usually they have given up by now, and I smiled and told him not me, thanks for your advice it nice to hear! Lisa
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#1 Dad
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 9:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lisa, You should also become familiar with the state laws regarding family law. Many times there are provisions to file a petition to enforce placement. If he wil not let you have your placemtn time within a certain amount of time (12 hours in WI) then you can file a police report. Sometimes the police will come with you to oversee the exchange even. If he continues to interfere with your placement, talk to your lawyer about a petition to enforce placement. He may be found in contempt.
Brian
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Mom - Diane
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 9:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This new wife person sounds like the stepmother from hell.

If you can communicate with her and your ex-husband via email or letters that might be better for the time being. Solutions to problems or issues may take longer, but it can work.

She should have realized what she was getting into when she married your ex-husband.

It is too bad that you have gotten into a depression. Please, Please try to remember that you are the mother of these babies and to stay strong for their sake. You are wonderful and a great person.

You are your babies mother and you have every right to have input about decisions on these children. They will end up making decisions together, but your decision is just as important. Don't let your ex-husband or this overpowering women overwhelm you.

Stay strong.
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lisamarie10
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 9:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you for your support all of you, you dont know how hard it is to battle a man who once loved you and wanted to have children with you and then wants to take them away, I was ordered to pay child support 350.00 a month even though I didnt work, I had notes from my doctor and it was really hard having two children in my current marriage trying to pay daycare for them and pay child support, the courts at one time I went and owed 75.00 and he told them that he needed his money, I had 74.00 on me, and they locked me up for a dollar, I thought it took them more to lock me up then i owed, well he got his dollar, and I keep getting behind I payed recently 500.00 and that was only medical then he took me back to court for child support saying I owe him 900.00, I had to take a loan out on my car to pay him the 500.00 and then me and my husband took everything we had to come up with 900.00, I had 460.00 on me in court and again they locked me up until I got them the rest, then I got home and the stepmom calls me after spending four hours in a holding cell, I just told her she hadnt got the best of me yet, we hollered we fussed and not once did I hear from that ex of mine, I am do not have alot of money we just get by, and they live comfortable I wonder why, well maybe god will help me forgive them for what they are trying to do to me, please everyone pray for me and my boys, thanks lisa
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peoplejudge2much



Joined: 03 Aug 2008
Posts: 14
State or Province: Illinois

PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 5:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So sorry this happened to you lisa.
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