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child support/visitation

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Joined: 11 Sep 2008
Posts: 1
State or Province: New Mexico

PostPosted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 1:40 pm    Post subject: child support/visitation Reply with quote

Hi, reading about some of your situations makes this seem so minor by comparison, yet it has been really hard dealing with it. I separated 5 years ago, divorce was final 4 years ago. My children are now 7 and 10. My ex is a bully and because I just wanted to get out of my situation I made all sorts of compromises, continued to take responsibility for everything and in the course of that have not only gone from at first getting the appointed amount of child support to having that cut two years ago when I went back to school, but as of this June being cut completely with the agreement he would take over all of our son's expenses while I could take over our daughter's. I recently re-read our parenting agreement and realized that all along child support was intended to ensure equal living standards for the children, but I was using it for all of their extracurricular activities, childcare, copays and school expenses. I recently consulted a psychologist who blatantly stated that I was complicit in cheating my children of what is rightfully theirs by not making my ex stick to the plan. I have felt so bullied throughout our relationship that it is hard for me to muster up the courage to change the situation, but I think I am finally ready to tackle this. I just do not want my children to suffer - he already has accused me of lying and manipulating while my daughter does not even like to spend the allotted times (which he has also freely manipulated to meet his needs now that he has a live in girlfriend and is available more than he ever was before) there. I feel insecure that if I start any type of proceedings things could get worse, on the other hand I imagine at this point I have nothing to lose. Any input? Thank you.
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