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What Should i do

 
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hurtmom24



Joined: 26 Feb 2008
Posts: 2
State or Province: Texas

PostPosted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 7:09 pm    Post subject: What Should i do Reply with quote

So heres my delima. I am 24 my husband is 28 and we have a beautiful soon to be 4 year old. I thought we were happy till i just recently discovered he goes to this chat site online and goes to a room called Married and Lonely. Well i was okwith it till just yesterday when i discovered he had gotten a phone number from one of the females he was speaking to. Not only that he had plans to meet with her. Now she knew he was married he did tell her that but it didnt stop her converstation of explaining what she was gonna do with her hands. Now he lied to me and told me he didnt write the number down when he did indeed. and he said he did not plan to meet with her. but something tells me differently. so should i just throw in the towel and be done or should i fight for this realtionship. I have invested 5 years of my life with him and i do love him but i dont want to be in a relationship were i have to worry everyday if he is really doing what he says he is. And on top of that i dont want my son in the middle of this, he should be in a relationship with love and understand and nurturing, not hate and decite. I am open for any advice.
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MaryM



Joined: 20 Apr 2006
Posts: 52
State or Province: New Jersey

PostPosted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 8:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

He needs to understand that without trust the relationship will only deteriorate. If you threaten separation or divorce and he does not care, then whatever you do short of that will not change things for the better.

You need to put your foot down and tell him to stop or more drastic measures will have to be taken. Like separation or divorce.

If he still values the marriage, there is always consoling. He could do it just to prove to you there is nothing wrong – of course we know better.

Or you could try to talk to him about why he is lonely and bore and try to change it. Hopefully, he’ll take into consideration the 4 year old as well and just not think of himself.

Sorry I don’t have better advice for you.
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JanetM



Joined: 21 Dec 2005
Posts: 10
State or Province: New Jersey

PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 3:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is a tough one girl. I know the feeling of not wanting to throw away 5 years, but it sounds like things are going down the wrong road.

You need to shake him up some how. If your passive and aways give in, maybe it's time to say no sometimes.

Please remind him any actions he takes could ruin more then his and yours life. There is another one involved he has to consider before doing something stupid.

If he does meet this other woman. Well, I'm not sure I could forgive and forget -- that's a very tough call.

Anyone on this board have any more suggestions for her? I'd like to hear them myself.
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hurtmom24



Joined: 26 Feb 2008
Posts: 2
State or Province: Texas

PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 6:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you for taking time out to reply to my message.... I am in that state that if he does meet this girl i am done... Cause in my heart that tells me that he wants something else and not me and so I will give him what he wants...... I know if i walked away from this relationship i will be just fine, but its not me i am worried about its my son.. he doesnt need to be in an enviroment where theres love and hate he needs to be surrounded by love
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MaryM



Joined: 20 Apr 2006
Posts: 52
State or Province: New Jersey

PostPosted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 9:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If you do try to stick it out and take his word that he does not want to end the relationship (if that what he is saying). I’ve done some reading on how to keep a man from cheating. Basically, you can’t give them total trust. If they feel they can get away with it, then they will. What you need to do is question everything. “Where were you”, “Who were you with” etc.

Basically, the theory is, if he knows he will probably get caught, then he probably won’t try. By questioning everything, he'll get the picture that it will be hard to cover up.
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AngelDusty038@yahoo.com



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 4
State or Province: Texas

PostPosted: Mon Sep 22, 2008 1:32 pm    Post subject: Forgive and move forward Reply with quote

I know it seems impossible. Forgive him. I'm sure you have done things before that you knew were wrong and did it anyway. God has mercy to forgive all tresspasses. Find it in yourself to forgive him, make him fully aware of your mercy. And move forward it will be better for you in the long hall. and better for the marriage
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