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At wits end and don't know where to begin!

 
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dayatax



Joined: 09 Oct 2008
Posts: 1
State or Province: New Hampshire

PostPosted: Thu Oct 09, 2008 2:31 pm    Post subject: At wits end and don't know where to begin! Reply with quote

3 years ago I admitted myself to the local hospital with depression. While I was in the hospital my husband filed for divorce and full custody. Then we worked out that we'd have joint custody, but he has primary physical "for school purposes only". I was given 2 nights a week and every other weekend (after months of supervised visitation). He was given the right to inspect where I'm living and deny that our 3 girls go there. I moved a lot trying to make it on my own. A month after I moved out, his girlfriend moved in, months before we were even divorced! They just married a couple weeks ago. At one point he wouldn't let me see my girls for 5 months. I was devastated, drank a lot, lost jobs, had to pay child support. I've got it together now, I've been sober 15 months, I pay support and arrearages, have a good job, I'm stable, I volunteer at my kids' school once a week. He has been in contempt of court ordered parenting plan for 2 years. I am now strong enough to fight and I'm hitting brick walls everywhere. Because I work, and I don't have 51% custody, and I am considered over income for getting help with anything financially. Even tho I work full time, pay child support, rent, car payment, phone, gas and groceries! I am just barely surviving financially, he and his wife make good money and they get money from me every week, but I am their mother, I deserve, and my children deserve, what's fair and what's right! Time spent with their mom! He lets me have them every other weekend for 1 night. I've never involved the police b/c I didn't know I was supposed to. Now I want to change the parenting plan. I'd love to ask for primary custody, but I can't afford a lawyer. Any suggestions? I feel so lost and overwhelmed!
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Still in Love



Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Posts: 216
State or Province: California

PostPosted: Thu Oct 09, 2008 6:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

go to court and file for a custody modification asking for mediation. Before you go in to the courts, get a home assessment of your home to take with you stating that you have a home fit for children. Ask for mediation, and go in there with the plan of having joint physical and legal custody... with a 50/50 time share... (if he even makes 1 dollar more then you on a 50/50 time share, then you will either not have to pay support at all, or he may have to pay you support) Allow him to keep his residence as the residence for school, but you want to have the children from the 1st of the month to the 15th on months that have 30 days, and from the 1st to the 16th on months that have 31 days, and in february you will take them from the 1st to the 14th.

Or you could request that you get them from January 1 to June 30th... a 50/50 split is just that, they will spend 6 months with you and 6 with him. You can do it on a weekly basis, monthly, etc.
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