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Fed up with fathers rights activists
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KJH



Joined: 29 Dec 2007
Posts: 7
State or Province: Ohio

PostPosted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 7:40 pm    Post subject: fathers rights verses childs rights Reply with quote

My grandsons father had neglected his responsibility for 10 yrs while providing financial support to an older child and a younger child with whom he has a relationship with. Not till he seen his son at a baseball game he attended to see his friends son play on discovered his son also played on this team and also witnessed his son whom he basically abandoned and neglected decides it is a convient time to assert his parental right , and I believe he is doing it now because his ego could not handle seeing his son interacting and having a relationship with. Then to top it off he lied to the court stating my daughter would not let him see his son. My daughter and him had been together briefly after the childs birth as she tried to give him a chance and show he took his parental responsibilities seriously, but he did not , thus with the support she received from her parents she made it through college to earn her degree. He had no problem letting someone else help raise his son while he was gettng in trouble with law. He knows how the system works and had been encouraged when he would tell my daughter whenever he ran into her and his son only by chance at a shopping mall to go through the legal system, but he made it clear he did not want to pay child support to see his child . So basically he wanted the luxary of having a relationship with his son as long as she and who ever would help provide for him. So in this case he did lie about being alienated. My daugther had changed her son's last name to her maiden name when he was 5yrs old followed the courts guidelines for doing so, and when he found out he said my daughter knew where he lived which was another lie. even the child services could not find him when they tried to get him to pay child support so the case was dropped. My daughter then decided to raise her son on her own with the support of her family and husband that she married 2 yrs ago. This man is turning his son's world upside down by demanding visitation , his son don't know him or wants to know him, he wants his step dad to be able to adopt him. The bottom line is I do still think a father has a right to be in his child's life if they did not know about the child being theirs till he petitioned for visitation or they have been in a real relationship with their child and provided financial support. A child is a privilage and not a choice to pick when it is convient to be a parent.
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lenoralouise



Joined: 15 Dec 2007
Posts: 15
State or Province: Arkansas

PostPosted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 3:46 pm    Post subject: mypace/mothersrights.com Reply with quote

my mother lost her grandson when my sister lost custody of her 6 year old this christmas. my sister and her son lived with my mother and the courts felt that the father was being alienated, its not true as far as visitation went but it is true as far as the family not liking him. but what mother is not going to dislike her ex-son-in-law after she finds out he gave her daughter a black eye. anyway i feel for you and i know that it is hard. my mother has to talk to this little boy on the phone every night as he cries and begs her in a whisper to please come take him home. i am collecting emails for those to get together and fight or maybe someone who knows of someone who has. my email is lenoralouise@comcast.net
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lenoralouise



Joined: 15 Dec 2007
Posts: 15
State or Province: Arkansas

PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 4:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i have posted the page wrong its myspace.com/mothers rights please post your story and give me permission to use these as examples in letters i will send to anyone who will listen.thank you, lenora
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JustLikeCamelot



Joined: 04 Mar 2008
Posts: 1
State or Province: California

PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 7:59 pm    Post subject: Barbara's Post about phoney Parent Alienation Reply with quote

My son's father won what I considered to be an unprecedented ruling in court. The judge would not even listen to my counsel (The Mother's side). So Sign Me Up! And tell what Courthouse to show up at. I'll be there with my picket sign in neon lights!
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lenoralouise



Joined: 15 Dec 2007
Posts: 15
State or Province: Arkansas

PostPosted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 2:47 pm    Post subject: fed up Reply with quote

i am glad you sent the message that you did. i have been busy i have let the fight to save my nephew go a little. the whole situation with the fathers rights group has been so depressing it gets exhausting. but i will not give up you have inspired me to get back off my duff. i will go to my website at myspace and put the update on how my nephew is doing now that he is in his fathers care it is very upsetting. if anyone knows more about putting up a more professional website i would appreciate it. i don't mind paying for it. so far i have about four people willing to fight with me i need a lot more plus someone with legal knowledge will help. i am going to take a legal course this fall so hopefully i can learn something if it comes down to it. we are broke after this court case so going back to court is not an option for us right now but i can not let this injustice to children and mothers continue and i will do what i can in my power. i will write more to you later, good luck and i would like to hear more of your story.
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angel



Joined: 04 Apr 2008
Posts: 2
State or Province: Other

PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 3:19 pm    Post subject: Re: Fed up with fathers rights activists Reply with quote

[quote="fed up"]Is anyone else out there fed up with the whinging fathers who complain about getting access to their children when they see them regularly. UK.[/quote] yes am fed up withi t as well my my ex thinks hes got rights with everything with our kids and am sick of it. the thing is we never got marreid he thinks hes got every right with the kids and its stressing me and i really want to no how much right has he got
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shannonde1



Joined: 09 Apr 2008
Posts: 2
State or Province: Illinois

PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 10:19 am    Post subject: response Reply with quote

I agree that the fathers' rights issue has gone too far. Although I am a single Mom and I firmly believe that if a father is a capable person with no drug, alcohol, abuse or felony record. Then he should be allowed to see his child. However, in my case, I am being bullied by my son's father to not go for child support because he will then go for joint custody. Little does he know that I am not as stupid as he thinks I am and there is no way in hell he would get ANY kind of custody for a child that he doesnt even want, first of all, nor has EVER paid anything or given anything to me for him. No diapers nothing. He has written email calling him and myself names etc. He just would have no chance. BUT the fuinny thing is, is that now because of this whole Fathers' rights crap...I cant even take that chance. So, he gets to live his life smiling knowing that I wont got for child support. Nice huh?
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Angel 2



Joined: 15 Apr 2008
Posts: 3
State or Province: Minnesota

PostPosted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 10:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree that men are getting to many rights, I carried my baby for 9 months herdad has been in prison since the day I told him I was pregnan, that is 4 years ago now. He don't call and he is a multiply offender, alcholic and so many other things. And the courst are still tryin to tell me that hehas rights, he has never even met his daughter.
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little_rose_lavender



Joined: 30 Nov 2008
Posts: 1
State or Province: Michigan

PostPosted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 8:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I personally dont believe in fathers or mothers rights it should be about whats best for the kids my x is bipolar and on disabillity because his bipolar is so bad he cant work. yet after walking out when our daughter was 3 months old and haveing no contact till last christmas when she is almost 4 yrs old and he found out i got married and was expecting another baby. sense visitation has started my daughter has really been acting out and even regressing last year she knew the alphabet and could count to 30 she could write her name now 3months in to preschool she refuses to write her name and acts like she doesnt know her letters or numbers. he tells her that she cant love her step dad and that her sister isnt her sister and that he is going to take her away from us and she wont be able to come home. but the court wants to steadily increase his visitation time she has nitemares and trouble sleeping as well as being scared to play outside. the way i look at is if he's so messed up he cant have a job and he's messing up her mental heath why should she have to see him when does her rights trump his?
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felrwil



Joined: 31 Jan 2009
Posts: 5
State or Province: Oklahoma

PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2009 7:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I just joined the group, but I too am fed up with the way fathers are coddled in our justice system. The BF has never paid CS but he is allowed to see D anytime he wants. I always have to call when anything goes on, but he never attends anything. I am sick of being told I am not a good mother because I stay at home. The BF wants D in day care and me working. When do we go back to caring for our children and not hurting each other?
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twinkle23



Joined: 08 Jan 2009
Posts: 8
State or Province: Illinois

PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2009 4:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is no justice system...it all boils down to money actually...these judges, lawyers, etc could care less about you the father and your children to be frank.
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Strawberries_sm



Joined: 17 Mar 2009
Posts: 5
State or Province: Texas

PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 3:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rightless wrote:
I'm saddened by the lack of responses on this discussion topic. It appears that Fathers are getting away with abusing children and women, and still getting the right to see the child that was abused. How do we teach our kids, then, to stay away from bad people when we are taking them right to them (court ordered)? Furthermore, why is it the child always gets the last name of the Father? Don't women have the right to give their last name to their child especially when no child support has been given, and all emotional and financial support is on the custodial mother? We go through so much to have a child and I feel that our rights are being compromised every day in some court to men who never wanted the child in the first place. Can we do something about this?


I hear ya. We tried for 1 1/2 years to get pg, it finally happens and he wants a divorce, and said he didnt want the baby. He cheated on me, I found out he had a sexual assault in 99 and got away with it, and so much more!!! Now im on my 2nd lawyer, and we are fighting over visitation. In the divorce I wanted a trial to bring stuff before the judge, he told my lawyer he would rule the same thing no matter what we showed him. I now realize the abuse and manipulation and isolation he had me under. And I agree we should have the right to give the baby our last names if we want. Why is it so pro dad now esp with all the stuff thats happened to kids in the past 2 years!!!!!!! UGH!!!!!!!
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felrwil



Joined: 31 Jan 2009
Posts: 5
State or Province: Oklahoma

PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 6:38 pm    Post subject: last name Reply with quote

I gave my child my last name because the father said it was not his child. He then served me with custody papers 1 week later demanding a complete name change. I won in court and my child has my last name. I fought and won, so it is possible. The father is now filing an appeal, he still does not pay child support. My child is 2 years old and knows her name, so it is unlikely the father will win but there is still that chance.
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Strawberries_sm



Joined: 17 Mar 2009
Posts: 5
State or Province: Texas

PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 10:43 pm    Post subject: Re: last name Reply with quote

felrwil wrote:
I gave my child my last name because the father said it was not his child. He then served me with custody papers 1 week later demanding a complete name change. I won in court and my child has my last name. I fought and won, so it is possible. The father is now filing an appeal, he still does not pay child support. My child is 2 years old and knows her name, so it is unlikely the father will win but there is still that chance.


My ex got some questions from my lawyer, and he said he couldnt agree nor deny the baby was his. That was a slap in my face. If I knew what you said then I would have done things differently. I just wasnt going to allow him at the doctor visits or at the birth, but my mom talked me into letting him come. Ya know, just thinking about it he never changed his answer!!!!!! (I dont think he did, I need to check that out)
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