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Drugie Father Trying To get Cutody :(

 
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Amber09



Joined: 08 Jul 2009
Posts: 3
State or Province: Minnesota

PostPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 9:48 am    Post subject: Drugie Father Trying To get Cutody :( Reply with quote

Im 19 years old and i had a baby boy in march. He is soo cute by the way! Very Happy The father never came around till 3 days ago i got a letter in the mail saying he filed for a paternity test. It broke my heart and i have been crying ever since. He IS the dad because he is the only guy i have ever slept with. He smokes weed, drinks and drives, speeds, goes to the bar and parties EVERY weekend. I DONT THINK he has a job. We havent contacted each other ( other than him stalking me) since November of 2008 so 4 or 5 months before i gave birth and all of a sudden he wants custody??? WHAT DO I DO??? Im leaving right now to go get my sons genetic testing done Sad
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Still in Love



Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Posts: 216
State or Province: California

PostPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 10:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Filing for paternity does not mean he wants custody... Paternity must be established for him to get his rights of the child. At this moment he has no rights what so ever... Once the paternity test is done, it will take 6 to 8 weeks for the results to come in and you go before the judge where he reads the results into the record and if he is found to be the father then changes the legal standing to show that he is the dad and orders the Birth Certificate changed to reflect that.

A hearing for custody/visitation will likely be set and at that point you can also request a hearing for support to be listed as well. You can also request that the father be drug tested since you believe that he might be doing illegal substances... you can't do anything about his speeding since most people drive over the legal speed limits, you also can't do a thing about him going to the bar or to parties every weekend as it is not any of your business unless he is taking your infant with him to the bars and to the parties.

You need to realize that other then his smoking weed... if he is over 21 he is legal to go to bars, to drink and to go to parties. You will need to prove legally that he drinks and drives by showing arrests for DUI's... if you don't have them well, it is your word and the courts will look at you as a controlling ex girlfriend.

As the father, once paternity is established, he has every right to see his child and just because you may not think he is a nice person, the courts are going to give him every opportunity to be a good father.
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Amber09



Joined: 08 Jul 2009
Posts: 3
State or Province: Minnesota

PostPosted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 8:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

So i shouldnt say anything about the parties or drinking then?? And he is not a father type, but i guess ill just have to deal with it. I Just dont want joint custody. If he gets visitation fine! But i wont let him get custody.
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Still in Love



Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Posts: 216
State or Province: California

PostPosted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 9:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You can say something... but the courts will ask if he is over 21... Drinking and smoking cigerettes is legal in the united states... your best bet is to talk to an attorney in your state.

I am not trying to scare you but you are young and it is a scary situation dealing with family court the first time. and by your posts, without you meaning too you sound bitter. You say he is not the fatherly type...but yet he is suing for paternity. You do not want to sound like a bitter ex girlfriend to the courts.

I suggest you contact a lawyer and at least go in for a consultation. You need to be the one that is the compromising parent and let him look like the controlling manipulative one.

be willing to let him have visitation... starting at your house for a few hours every week then after a few months he can take the baby on his own for 8 hours... and build up to him having the baby over night.

I strongly urge you to get a family law attorney in your state and let him be the one to do the talking for you and that way you don't need to worry about sounding bad to the judge.
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Amber09



Joined: 08 Jul 2009
Posts: 3
State or Province: Minnesota

PostPosted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 11:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks. I have already contacted one. I am not a bitter ex girl friend. I just dont want my son to get hurt.. I dont care if he drinks and drives and kills himself..i dont want him drinking and driving with MY son in the car. I dated him for 2 1/2 years i know him and he IS NOT the fatherly type. He only wants one to show the baby off to his friends. After he sees what babies are really like he will change his mind. But thannks for the advice.
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