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my child was taken by his father

 
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missinmyson



Joined: 28 Sep 2009
Posts: 1
State or Province: Alabama

PostPosted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 5:51 am    Post subject: my child was taken by his father Reply with quote

I need advice.. My son is 11 months old.. Since the day he was born I have cared for him, The paternal grandmother watched my son while I worked two jobs, to support my family, I split up with the father and he got upset. HE beat me to the court house and falsely accused me of potential abuse and filed for emergency custody.. It was granted on Aug 31.. I am allowed 4 hours of supervised visitation a week which I don't get.. I would never hurt my child NOT EVER., I have hired a lawyer and I got to court Oct. 2.. I am scared to death I have never even been in a court room.. I miss my son and I want him back but I am really confused at the whole situation.. I have plenty of stuff against him but everyone keeps telling me I might not get him back for years and I don't think I can handle that Sad
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chasenalex



Joined: 08 Oct 2009
Posts: 2
State or Province: Kentucky

PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 4:28 pm    Post subject: My child was taken by his father Reply with quote

So sorry to read of your dilemma.

I too just lost custody of my son to a mentally and verbally abusive father. My son is 16 and has never lived with his father. He left us when my son was 4 to chase women, ignored him for ten years and 2 years ago filed for custody. A judge ordered him to get custody last week in a hearing that my attorney could not attend.

For two years, this judge has allowed the father and his counsel to make false and outrageous accusations and has little to no interest in hearing my objections and evidence to disprove his claims. This dispute seemed rigged from the beginning. I knew it was a matter of time before he got custody.

My son does not want to live with his father who lives 100 miles away. Yet, the judge refused to consider his age and would not talk to him.

Courts are very, very biased to fathers. The best advice I can give you is to get an attorney who specializes in custody cases and has a lot of experience. If your current attorney does not specialize in custody, then change attorneys. Otherwise, you won't win. Trust me on this.

Good luck and God bless you and your baby.
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Sommer41



Joined: 30 Nov 2009
Posts: 11
State or Province: Not Applicable

PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 5:49 am    Post subject: Re: my child was taken by his father Reply with quote

missinmyson wrote:
I need advice.. My son is 11 months old.. Since the day he was born I have cared for him, The paternal grandmother watched my son while I worked two jobs, to support my family, I split up with the father and he got upset. HE beat me to the court house and falsely accused me of potential abuse and filed for emergency custody.. It was granted on Aug 31.. I am allowed 4 hours of supervised visitation a week which I don't get.. I would never hurt my child NOT EVER., I have hired a lawyer and I got to court Oct. 2.. I am scared to death I have never even been in a court room.. I miss my son and I want him back but I am really confused at the whole situation.. I have plenty of stuff against him but everyone keeps telling me I might not get him back for years and I don't think I can handle that Sad


As this is an old message, I am not sure of the present situation and of course you will have been to court by now.

However, I will put in my twopence. I am surprised of the 'potential abuse' claim. However, here goes.

Firstly, do not under any circumstance try to fight with fire. Do not counteract his accusations against you with accusations of him doing things.

What courts want to see is an easy solution, while your son is young enough, then he cannot remember any of this, although he will be wondering where his mum is.

Anger will be biting you, hurt will be and of course your motherly instincts will be kicking into action.

I'll bullet point to make it easier.

1. You are allowed four hours visitation. Turn up at the agreed time. If he refuses access to your son, keep a record of it. Do not get into an argument with him. The court will want to see that you are trying.

2. I know your son is only eleven months, but send him some letters, just a card, registered post, keep copies of them. (This is called indirect contact) The courts will look favourably on you if you can provide proof that you are doing all you can for your son.

3. The courts want to see a balanced woman who is able to take care of her son, if your son's father is making allegations that you have abused him, then give him no room to back up and provide proof. You have to show that you are not doing what he is accusing you of. This is easy to do. By being calm, dignified and smart, you can outwit the allegations and show that you are not the parent he is making you out to be.

While it is difficult to remain calm because you are on an emotional rollercoaster, you simply have to. Your lawyer can calmly explain your distress at being parted from your son.

What you do not want is reports from your ex that you have attempted to gain your son by shouting and demanding.

It takes a lot of courage and intelligence to remain strong in these situations and you may have to take a step back so that you can look at what is best for your son. Instruct your lawyer this is the avenue you want to take. He should do what you say, but yet be able to advise you.

There is no law on this planet earth that could take a child away from a mother who is balanced, showing that she is calm, steady and able to provide for her son. This is what you need to show, do not begin a battle and as you gain more access with your son, even under supervision, show this during the sessions weekly.

Good luck.
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