Joined: 10 Jul 2010
State or Province: California
|Posted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 12:55 pm Post subject: going to court soon
|Ok. First I will give you a little background.
My husband and I separated in May. We were together for four years and married for two. We have two children together, ages 1 and 3. I also have a ten year old son. During most our relationship I was a stay at home mom. We both agreed to this. Currently I am in the last stage of my masters degree. This stage is an internship which is unpaid. I will finish in december. It was a marital decision that I start my masters degree. This way I could be home with the kids and also contribute to the household finances through financial aid. Now I have a ton of loan debt and I must finish school so I can get a decent job. When I am done I will be a school psychologist.
Our youngest is 20 months and has recently been diagosed with autism. The diagnosis has not been made formal yet; however specialists have all indicated tthat he has it. He still must see a geneticist, psychologist, and audiologist before a forrmal diagnosis will be made.
My husband has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and ptsd. I asked him to move out because he refused to takev meds and his disorders caused such significant mood swings that it became an unhealthy living environment. When off meds he is very irritable and can be very verbally abusive. Since moving out he has said he will not pay support until the court orders it. He has a very good job as a. Truck driver and makes very good money. This job also has a very crazy schedule. He wants to be able to see our boys every day but with the irregularity of his job he often misses visits. Everytime he misses a visit the boys get very worked up. Also, he provides no structure at his house. He allows the three year old to play violent video games , let's them drink mountain dew, and feeds them all sorts of sugary junk. After every visit my three year old comes home totally thrown off his schedule and is very rude. The baby, who needs routine due to his autism, is also very out of sorts.
When he moved out I was left with another year on our lease. The rent is 1550 and t5e utilities high since it is a 2 story house. His new apartment is 700 a month
I have been the childrens care taker since birth. I do all of the appointments and make sure they have everything they need. When I am doing my internship and he has a day off, he still sends the kids to the baby sitter. The only negative against me is that I smoked for the first trimester of both pregnancies. I tried to quit sooner but he would come home and tease me by lighting up right next to me if I was outside. During the first pregnancy I would have gone several days without and he would light up in the car with me and laugh while he blew smoke in my face. I am ashamed to say I would give into temptation and have one.
I do have a lawyer and in the OSC I asked for reduced visits on the days he has off (so he would for sure be there) and I asked that the court require him to take h is meds. With our previous arrangement he had them Monday 4 - 7, Tuesday 2 - 5, Wednesday 8 - 5 , fridays 12 - 4, and Saturday 3 - 7. Most of the time he did not show up for the Tuesday and Friday visits. The daily back and forth was also very chaotic for the kids. I proposed a new schedule of Monday 4 - 8, Wednesday 8 - 5, and Saturday 4 - 8.
Now he is upset because the new custody schedule drops his visitation to 10%. He is also trying to deny the bipolar disorder and say that he only has ptsd. He was just served Wednesday so I haven't gotten his response yet. He just said that he has a surprise for me. I am pretty sure he got a fathers rights attorney and that he is going to try for 50/50 custody. He sees child support as him paying my bills not supporting the kids.
I would appreciate feedback on how things may go in court.