Joined: 30 Sep 2011
State or Province: California
|Posted: Fri Sep 30, 2011 1:43 pm Post subject: I'm so frustrated!!!!! Just need to vent.
|I'm so frustrated with the courts and my son's father right now I can hardly contain my emotions any more. I find myself just wanting to scream and then cry because I don't understand. I just need to vent because I feel like no one is listening and I have no control.
My 2 year old son's father lives over 300 miles away. I've always encouraged him to have a relationship with our son so I did my best to keep things out of court and never asked him to provide financially, which he didn't. Whenever he asked to take my son to Los Angeles to visit family for a little while, I would let him. A couple a months ago he took him for what was supposed to be two weeks. Towards the end o the two weeks he and his family decided not to return him resulting on me going to Los Angeles to find him. When I got there his grandmother had hidden him and the police said there was nothing I could do because we didn't have anything set up in court to stop his father from doing that.
His dad and aunt tried to convince me to let him live with them until I got "myself together". I have a college degree, getting my masters online, a solid job, and rock as a full time mom. Seriously? You live at home with your mom, dad, and sister and only have a job on a good day. Really?!! They insisted that I was wrong for putting my son in daycare while I worked and his family took care of him better.
Needless to say I immedietly went home, filed for temporary custody, got it, and got my son back home. Now I've been battling with his father in court and it seems like he's getting away with EVERYTHING!!!!!
*The courts make us try a visitation agreement for 3 months which requires my son to spend 10 days with his dad each month. Keep in mind NO CHILD SUPPORT has been ordered for him so therefore I'm not only required to continue to financially support my son by myself, but I'll need to pay nearly $300-$400 a month in travelling cost to pick up my son from his dad's house. This is on top of the attorney fees I'm paying because of his initial kidnapping of my son.
*When my son is with me, his dad rarely makes an attempt to contact him. He calls me about 1 or twice a week really late when he knows our son is asleep. When my son is down there I call every day to speak with him, many times his dad will go days without returning my calls.
*Then I learn that my son is hardly even with him to begin with. Even when he's home from work, my son is with his sister or his mom.
*He criticizes everything I do. When my breast were sore and bleeding and I was sleep deprived beyond all measure, his dad would call me yelling at me about why I didn't return one of his phone calls and that I was irresponsible. When I would explain why I was exhausted, as if I really needed to, he would still try to belittle me making me feel absolutely horrible.
He continues to imply that I'm a horrible mother. My son can speak in english and spanish because of ME. My son is laughing and smiling every day because of ME. He can count, do puzzles, sign language, plays like he has no care in the world because of ME. He has clothes on his back, ME. He's healthy and never goes without food, ME! He's complimented every day for being such a loving child, respectful, and polite. I did that @$$hole, so who the he11 are you to talk about who's a fit parent?
*My son's dad wanted me to have an abortion. When I wouldn't do that he wanted me to opt for adoption. He didn't tell his parents I was pregnant until I was 7 months along. I moved to be closer to family and friends because he was not supportive or helpful in the least. I gave up work for 1.5 years to take care of my son. Thats the kind of mess I had to deal with so how does he suddenly get to ride in on his horse and start making demands?
This doesn't even scratch the surface but I really needed to vent. I just don't understand how he can get away with the things he does yet he's still supposed to be entitled the same rights as me? He hasn't put in nearly the amount of work, effort, and dedication into raising our son but the courts feel we should get joint custody? Why. He doesn't put in joint parenting so how the heck does that work>