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adoption

 
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Peanut
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 10:06 pm    Post subject: adoption Reply with quote

hey, i was wondering if anyone knew about adoption. My fiancee has been taking care of my daughter since the time i was pregnant with her. He wants to adopt her, but hes not sure how. her real father has only seen her twice in her life, and is trying to get to see her now. is there still anyway that he can adopt her?? her birth father is in and out of jail, in a half way house right now, and is a "gang" memeber. I even have letters from him from when he was in jail saying that. i dont want her to be around it, becuaes hes soo immature. 2 weeks ago when he seen her i wanted to get her a pair of boots from the childrens place and all he could say is " my daughters not wearing that, thats for dumb bi*ches. He wants my daughter to grow up to be like a wanna be gangster slime ball like he is, and i cant take it. does anyone have any advice??
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confusedmom30
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 10:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am looking for the same advise as you...i'm in the exact same situation..if you get any advise let me know...good luck!~!!!
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KatherineI



Joined: 20 Jan 2006
Posts: 16
State or Province: Pennsylvania

PostPosted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 10:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I just bought something from Children's Place.

Some of those clothes are nice for the kids Smile Laughing

So this is what I think..

If the father is really not going to be involved then he probably just needs that Push to really make the break.

Sometimes that push will come from you. Sometimes that push will have to come from a lawyer who puts it in terms of Dollars and Cents (child support).
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lulu



Joined: 23 Jan 2007
Posts: 2
State or Province: Not Applicable

PostPosted: Tue Feb 06, 2007 9:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hi my name is luarnie and im interested in adopting a child but lack the knowledge of any adoption queries.Im a single mum working and have one child.i would love to from anyone who can assist me with where to start and what criteria you need to meet in order to adopt
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kirbyart



Joined: 05 Feb 2008
Posts: 5
State or Province: Oklahoma

PostPosted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 5:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You should start talking with a local official (say in child services) about adoption. The concern about the birth father wanting rights is significant, but if the birth father is as you say, the government should lean towards your fiancee'. If/once you two get married, that would probably smooth the process even more.
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Mom of one



Joined: 17 Jun 2008
Posts: 12
State or Province: Alabama

PostPosted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 7:10 am    Post subject: Response Reply with quote

I hate to bust your hope, but if the father is showing interest, your fiancee will not be able to adopt. Do you remember a few years ago, the big story in the news about the lady who adopted out her son to a good home, without the Father knowing of the child's existence. Years later, he got his son back, as natural parents always have the first right to the child. Unless the Father signs a form giving up parental rights (lawyer provided), then you will not have any chance in having another man adopt your child. This is unless the father is deceased, then that is a "no brainer" but in the case that they are seeing the child (even occassionally) or even talking like they want to be involved, a Judge will always allow him to be a part of the child's life (and even though it doesn't seem fair to you-is right). Just think, if the Father wanted another woman to adopt your child-you would fight it as hard as you could. Good luck though. It is hard when you have a joke of a Father who keeps you from providing a good life for your child.
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Still in Love



Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Posts: 216
State or Province: California

PostPosted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 9:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You can go to a lawyer and find out what needs to be done. While Mom of One is correct in most cases. You can start the proceedings and most guys like that will forfeit their rights if slammed with having to repay all back child support to show they are willing to be involved.

If your ex has such an extensive criminal history, and has only seen his child 2x in her life, the courts may terminate his rights for him. If you do not have an address for him, the attorney will post ads in local and national newspapers stating that your child is going to be adopted. If your ex doesn't read a newspaper and doesn't show up for the court date the courts will grant the adoption.

But the first thing you really need to do is contact a family law/adoption attorney and find out the laws in your state. Adoption is expensive and if this is something you really want to do then you need to do it the right way. No one here will be able to give you a correct answer to your needs since we don't live in your state nor are we attorneys.

In some states you could argue that the best interest of the child is not to be near their father due to gang affiliation and the courts will terminate the father's rights.
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Mom of one



Joined: 17 Jun 2008
Posts: 12
State or Province: Alabama

PostPosted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 9:31 am    Post subject: Response Reply with quote

Good thoughts. It is case by case.
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punk182



Joined: 16 Jan 2009
Posts: 4
State or Province: California

PostPosted: Fri Jan 16, 2009 11:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

hi everyone, i just found out i'm 6 weeks pregnant. the father is being a real jerk and is saying that he wants to fight for the baby. i know that we can't afford to take care of it. he doesn't even have a good job. i wanted to give it for adoption to a nice family that can take care of it and can give it what we can't. i want it to be in a stable home instead of having to go back and forth between us. what can i do? i really dont want to share it with him because like i said, he can't afford it and he lives in a really ugly side of town...i just want the best for the baby and he's being so difficult. does anyone know what i can do??
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MaryM



Joined: 20 Apr 2006
Posts: 52
State or Province: New Jersey

PostPosted: Fri Jan 16, 2009 12:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi,

My husband and me adopted a baby girl four years ago and it was the greatest gift anyone could get. We give her all the love in the world and she will get every opportunity to succeed in life. We know many loving couples that have adopted and itís a great thing.

The bad news is, that from going through the adoption process, the courts will not let you give the baby up for adoption if the biologically father contests it. It does not matter if he does not have a job, a home and has 3 other kids he canít take care of. Because I Ďve seen exactly that example happen to one of our friends.

Good luck. Maybe you can convince him. An adoption agency could tell him about all the lovely couples just waiting to adopt. Ones weight love and the means to take care of a baby.

-Mary
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punk182



Joined: 16 Jan 2009
Posts: 4
State or Province: California

PostPosted: Fri Jan 16, 2009 5:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

thank you so much for that. that really stinks though...i already know a really amazing family with great morals and the means to take excellent care of my baby...that's all i want for him or her.
i just get so sad because i tried telling him about it and he told me to shut up and that he's going to fight for it if it's his and stuff...it's making me feel so horrible...i want my baby to be a blessing to that family. he's being so incredibly difficult.

is there any way i can just tell him that it's not his and cut off contact with him so that he doesn't have a say??

idk...i know that's bad...i'm just so stressed out. i want my baby to have that family..i want it to be happy..if there's no way i can give it to that family then i would want to keep it because i know for a fact that i would take better care of it then him. i just wish he'd understand that i just want the best for the baby... Sad he's being such a jerk...i've never been so depressed..

he's not having any part in the pregnancy. i'm the one that has to keep going to the doctor, eat right and give birth to it. i just wish that because of that alone i would have more of a say in what happens. Sad
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nemm1



Joined: 09 Nov 2011
Posts: 3
State or Province: Ohio

PostPosted: Tue Nov 15, 2011 12:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's natural for people who are adopted to wonder about their birth families (also called biological families) and where they came from. This curiosity often becomes more intense as part of the process of self-discovery that happens during the teenage years. Sometimes there are health reasons, or other important reasons, for searching for one's birth family.

Adoption is the creation of a new, permanent relationship between an adoptive parent and child. Once this happens, there is no legal difference between a child who is adopted and a child who is born into a family.

Birth parents have many different reasons for putting children up for adoption. Some decide that they want better lives for their kids than they feel they can provide. Some feel their child would do better living in another country. Sometimes parents just can't take good care of a child because of illness or other difficulties. Many birth parents say that having their child placed for adoption with another family is the most difficult thing in the world, but that sometimes it is truly in the child's best interests.
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