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Dealing with teenagers adversity to Mom having a boyfriend

 
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Smurf10565



Joined: 12 Jan 2012
Posts: 1
State or Province: New York

PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2012 6:48 am    Post subject: Dealing with teenagers adversity to Mom having a boyfriend Reply with quote

Im newly separated for 7 mons, however the separation emotionally has been for over a year, the delay was due to financial reasons. I have a male friend that I have been seeing for just a year. I have a 13 and 18 year old daughters. They accepted meeting my boyfriend and I was able to have him on occasion over to the house for meals and watching TV, never overnight. In the past two weeks my 13 year old has expressed that it sickens her that I have a boyfriend, that she is embarassed and none of her friends Moms have boyfriends. She does not want my boyfriend to come over any more when she is here. This is difficult because she is always here, she does not like to go to her fathers and he also is a musician so he is busy on weekends often. How should I handle this? Should I respect her wishes and not have him over when she is here, or is that allowing her to run me?
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Still in Love



Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Posts: 216
State or Province: California

PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2012 4:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That is allowing her to run you...

You need to realise that she is 13, and in 5 years she will be an adult and out on her own to college and to live her life.

you can sit down with her and talk to her and let her know that you are sorry that she feels the way that she does, but you are entitled to a life of your own besides just being her mother, and you are also entitled to be loved by someone other then your children... and while you understand that she feels threatened... it is your house, and in 5 years she will be moving one with her own life...

He will always be so and so... and not her father, but He will be in your life... and she will need to respect him as an adult and as someone that is in your life... and she can not do anything that will try to shut him out of your life...

I hope for the best for you... I have been where you are... speaking to my kids and letting them know that I get to live just like them and that punishment for poor behavior will be given out whether it is when he is here or not... they started to get along with him rather then fight to have me not there.
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