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Fighting the Texas court system

 
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Reed's Mom



Joined: 20 Jun 2007
Posts: 1
State or Province: Texas

PostPosted: Wed Jun 20, 2007 9:57 am    Post subject: Fighting the Texas court system Reply with quote

I would like to talk with other moms who unjustly lost their children in a custody fight. Either from not enough money to hire expensive attorneys or hiring an inept attorney or the way the system itself works. Did you know that, in Texas, your 12 year old can make the decision with which parent he prefers to live? It doesn't matter how great a mom you've been for the last 12 years, as long as dad is not drug addicted or a pervert. If you are the parent that lays down boundaries and he is the one buying great toys, you lose! I have plenty to talk about and would like to find other mothers to ban together; perhaps trying to make the talk show circuits. Two of my friends, who happen to be judges have said, " Judges are idiots and the Texas Family Law Courts are a joke!" Please post your stories and let's see where this can take us. I am devastated and angry and I'm ready to rumble! Something has to change.
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myboyismylife



Joined: 18 Nov 2007
Posts: 8
State or Province: Texas

PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 1:42 pm    Post subject: that's horrible! Reply with quote

Hi,

I'm really sorry to hear that! My son is still much younger but I've definitely had problems with the different version of parenting (if you want to grace it with that name) that occurs at the other house.

Over half of my time parenting has to be devoted to "undoing" the damane done at the other end. And yea, it totally makes me look like the bad guy. Like the fact that I want him to eat healthy food, or have an actual established bedtime.

At 12, does a child actually know what is best for them?
If you ask a 12 year old would they rather stay up late playing video games or go to bed at 9pm and only play video games after they finish their homework, what do you think they are going to decide?

There was a young girl a few years ago (not Texas but somewhere else) that lived with her grandparents. They had fairly strict rules but they loved her and cared for her well. Then her non-custodial mother moved in literally across the street, with her new boyfriend. The girl fought to go back to her mother and won! That poor little 12 year old girl, totally innocent, ended up raped and exposed to lots of drugs and then on a talk show years later. She said "I was a kid, what kid wouldn't pick the least restrictive, most exciting place?" That story haunts me all the time, especially when I think of my situation. My house is the healthy house. The one with rules and boundaries that are by no means overly strict, and that are put in place by love, respect, and caring.

Children almost always will choose the home with the least boundaries, especially a pre-adolescent who feels they are on the verge of knowing everything and thus, can't be told what to do. My child and I are so close and I love him beyond anything imaginable and yet, it's a horrible atrocity that our court system doesn't know enough about children, to know that about a kid.

My heart goes out to you! Sad
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REllis



Joined: 20 Dec 2007
Posts: 5
State or Province: Missouri

PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 6:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You think Texas is bad....even with proof of oversing a child in Kansas, the one who tried overdosing the child still gets the child. KANSAS courts are PATHETIC. Surely we mothers can do something about the judicial system here.
________
O305


Last edited by REllis on Wed Feb 02, 2011 12:03 am; edited 1 time in total
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Sterling



Joined: 18 Feb 2006
Posts: 77
State or Province: Texas

PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 12:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Texas is pro father depending upon what county you are in. The bigger counties are more pro dad IMO! I saw that for myself in court in Dallas County. I saw the judge give extra little favors to my sons father in our court order and not order my sons father to pay back all his arrears. He said he didn't want to ruin my sons father financial status. Bless his heart! He put me in dire straights for 4 years and the judge cared about my sons father's pocket book more than my son! It was pathetic.

Anyhow, at the age of 12 kids do have the right to say where they want to live, but that doesn't mean the judge has to grant that request. It should be about what is in the best interest of the child and sometimes kids don't realize that their best interest is not always what they want.
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gmlinton



Joined: 10 Jan 2008
Posts: 5
State or Province: Texas

PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 4:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i feel ya there. what also suxs is when you have custody papers for your son and your ex decides to keep him and not a darn police department will help. you have to go back to the courts again. Like I have that kind of money laying aorund.
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Kate



Joined: 23 Jan 2008
Posts: 1
State or Province: Michigan

PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 8:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

In some cases a child can know whats right and is able at 12 to determine that. I have a friend whose ex is very much like mine- an abusive jerk who is constantly critisizing his daughter, ignoring her, and just constantly being deragotory about her. And their daughter is counting down the days on a calender until she turns 12 and doesn't have to go to her fathers ever again. Some kids know when things are bad enough to get away from them. I look at her and hope that my daughter will also have the strength to tell her father she doesn't want to see him again. Because its not always that the other house is fun and games, sometimes its an abusive parent. And kids know enough to get away from them. My ex is abusive and I hope that by the time my daughter is 12 she will be saying- don't make me go to dadies ever again. And the courts better listen to her. They won't listen to me, but they better listen to her.

Someone has to protect her from him and they won't let me do it. They would rather give him time with her and let him hurt her than protect her from him. They are letting him hurt my daughter. She is only 3 months old and he is already criticising her all the time and making comments about how she isn't little and tiny and he told me he leaves her sitting alone in the bedroom while he goes and does things in other parts of his house. She can't even sit up on her own yet! But his rights are so important. He kicked her and I out when she was five days old. But that doesn't matter because he wants her now. The fact that he didn't show any interest in her for over a month after he did that doesn't matter. It just matters to them that he wants to spend time with her now.

I am all for fathers who are good fathers being able to see their kids- but they are the ones that do because they are the ones still married or with their kids mother. God fathers, good men don't leave their childrens mother for another woman, they don't decide that they are tired of being in a relationship or that they can't handle a commitment. I'm sorry but any man who can't handle the commitment of a relationship- how is he going to handle the committment of having a child? Good fathers- They aren't the ones who walk off and leave for whatever reason. They aren't the ones who want you to stop breastfeeding so they can get overnight visits sooner. They don't take a 3 month old for a walk in 15 degree weather and bring her home with windburn. And they don't make you come up with their parenting time schedule because they can't be bothered. They actually put their child first. They actually consider their health and well-being and don't use their child to manipulate the mother or to hold her somewhere close so that they can keep abusing her.

But the courts only see that they want to spend time with the child in the here and now. It doesn't matter to them what happened in the past. It doesn't matter that what happened before shows a pattern of behavior that isn't going to change. These men don't suddenly see the light and become good fathers or men who want to be with their children. They havne't changed. They just said the right things to the right people and they were believed. And because we are fighting to protect our children and not always calm about it we are the bad guys. We are the vengeful shrews trying to stop them from seeing their kids. No one gives us credit for wanting to take care of our children or trying to protect them fron people who will hurt them- even if those people are their fathers. To the courts- we just have sour grapes over a failed relationship. So we aren't taken seriously and the courts protect the rights of the fathers. Not even the rights of the children, but the rights of the fathers. Who protects my duaghter since I'm not allowed to?

We aren't allowed to protect our children and the courts are so busy protecting the fathers rights that they can't be bothered to look out for our children. Someone explain this to me. Who makes the system work to actually make sure that my daughter is put first. They won't let me do it. So who does it for me?
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praying mommy



Joined: 07 Aug 2009
Posts: 7
State or Province: Texas

PostPosted: Fri Aug 07, 2009 2:12 am    Post subject: there is help for you Reply with quote

Actually I am currently in a graduated visistation system. My baby is 15mos old. When she was 5mos I was breastfeeding and her dad started off seeing her for 3 hours supervised for so many sessions, then when she became 1 yrs old he gets her for 9 hours on saturdays, then at 2 he gets her for overnight, then 3 is standard possession for weekends summers and holidays. Please check into the "graduated visitation". I am in San antonio TX, but ask around. This protects our innocent angels from immature neglegent fathers. Trust me girl I feel your pain I had to fight for this!
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sillyputtytravel



Joined: 16 Sep 2009
Posts: 2
State or Province: New Mexico

PostPosted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 10:21 pm    Post subject: My experience with Texas courts -- pro father Reply with quote

I have just concluded a long, drawn-out, crazy custody battle that began in MA and migrated southwest from NM and then on to TX (thanks to my NM judge who decided to oblige TX jurisdiction. I was a single mom for 12 years. We never married. Dad was not an active parent until something, probably our son, turned him around. Yes, I was and am a great mom -- I was the parent that was and is always there for him -- and he turned into a wonderful kid despite the absense of a father.

My son was unwillfully moved to Texas -- against my son's wishes and mine (we share joint custody). We were, in fact, disregarded in the decision made by the Texas judge (who, by the way, is affiliated with the same university as is my son's father). Despite the fact that (all agreed) I have raised a wonderful young man with high IQ/EQ and despite the fact that my son signed a Parental Preference to be returned to my physical custody in New Mexico, the judge ruled for the rich daddy. The judge took my son into private chambers where he (the judge) spent most of the time telling my son how it was his father's heavy hand that turned him into the man his is today.

[I didn't proof this. And was angry while writing it. So, sorry if some of it is hard to follow. The decision was made in February. I'm still feeling the freshness of this wound.]
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25sara



Joined: 29 Jul 2011
Posts: 1
State or Province: Florida

PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2011 9:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think of my situation. My house is the healthy house. The one with rules and boundaries that are by no means overly strict, and that are put in place by love, respect, and caring. ..
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olsencin



Joined: 21 May 2012
Posts: 16
State or Province: Washington

PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 4:35 pm    Post subject: Letter campaign Reply with quote

Letís start a letter campaign to our local representatives, news media and court systems about our childrenís stories.
Contact me for investigative report contact information.

The more letters they get the better our chance of being heard!

Include your correct contact information, details of events, case number, attorney and court information, childrenís advocate information, your total cost to date. How this has impacted you and your children.
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Formychild



Joined: 12 Jun 2012
Posts: 1
State or Province: New Jersey

PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 10:12 pm    Post subject: My story is a doozy Reply with quote

Looking for national attention.
I'm looking for help finding more advocacy groups.
Over $100,000 in legal fees. The ex is claiming parental alienation, the judge threatened my 14-1/2 year old daughter that he would put me in jail if she did not go along with the visitation schedule. Now orders a Guardian Ad Litem which is what I asked for 2 years ago. This guardian, however, is on the same executive panel as my ex's attorney and her firm is very pro parental alienation syndrome. The pscyhcologist threatened me during the process. I intend on making this my life until there is a new law in my state that stops this from happening again. Oh, and the Judge was censured.
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olsencin



Joined: 21 May 2012
Posts: 16
State or Province: Washington

PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 10:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I understand about looking for attention. I suggest getting to it without delay. Contacting talk shows might be a good way, if your story is compelling. I am sort of determined about a letter writing campaign, also. Having your friends, and family send letters too. You can find out who your representatives are online and the best way to contact them then you can post all of the information on your social media of choice and ask all of your friends to write letters also.
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