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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 9:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Myzima and Suzan,

Don't feel bad Myzima. I went thru the same dilemma. At the time I went thru it, it was supposed to be the District Attorney, child support division.

I cried many times in front of GOD and everyone.
I didn't care because I felt they weren't feeling my pain and having to worry about surviving but I was so strapped with's all been and still continues to be a living nightmare.

Everyone kept trying to encourage me that one day he would get his, but when??? They sure didn't do anything about him not paying child support but they took no time at all garnishing my wages when I got court ordered to pay. How is is that I could be making $9.00 an hour and Dork was making $45k a year and I'm forced to pay him??? He was originally court ordered to pay me and it certainly didn't matter. In 2003, I made 29k and he made 83k, in 2004 they court ordered him to pay me a whole $65.00 per month (which everyone...this Dork didn't even pay $0.65c).
Pathetically sad, isn't it?

I'm sick of seeing all these poor moms sacrificing when all they did was try to honor a court system and be a law abiding citizen. They turned the laws on them and made these low life scumbag deadbeats come out smelling like a rose and punish the moms for actually working and busting her behind to make sure her kids were fed, had a roof and clean clothes.

This has all been going on far too long. I say we need a woman President! These dumb politicians and lawmakers (excuse me, I mean law breakers) have screwed things up so royally, it would take another century to set things right. I say we take all of them and throw them back in the dog house where they belong and toss them a bone.

Suzan, please know, these politicians are heading for hell. Their titles and paychecks will be nothing and they will pay for destroying lives and feeding off the poor and the homeless. For ruining and destroying people and especially for our children. They've exhausted the innocent every which way but loose. I know one day it will come back on them ten-fold.

You always have us to turn to. I started here on 2003 and have found some of the greatest moms here and after learning what they went thru, it was just so amazing how many of us have so much in common. It's hard to understand how this could have happened and why it's happening at all but we all need to ban and unite together.

You both are always welcome to email me at GOD bless you on this hard journey but there will be rewards for you.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 9:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hey guys i wish when i was going through my divorce i had this site. but i am glad to help anyone who needs it all i know is i am going on three years of being divorce and it was the best investment i ever made all though i am having a hard time and my ex does not pay i know in the end he will get his i just may nto be here to see it and i have had my rewards especially when he went to jail for three months and i got to make sure he went. i will say the judge i got was awesome and i wish we had more judges she did not even bat and eye she told him you got 12 months or come up with the 4 grand. and he cried and lied but the judge did not care and for a micro second i felt justice but it only lasted for a micro second. i dont have the hard feeling i use to because my family and friends allowed me to express my self and i will have to say for anyone going through a bad divorce get it out otherwise it will kill you vent yell scream do what you have to do i know i vent all my anger out and now when he calls to bother me i just let the machine get it and hit deleate i dont let him get under my skin even though i am pissed i will never let him know it but i did get a whole 247 dollar check to day and he still owes me about anothe 400 or so yeppie any way i am still serious about doing something with these laws something has to be done i think we need to write our government or do a petition or something we should not let these bastards get the best of us we have to do this for ourselves and our children let me know what you guys think
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 9:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know I can't believe that when I was the one to get child support I never received it,and if I did of course it was not the amount that it was suppose to be, I mean he would go over a year if not longer without paying, and of course he had ways to lie about his finances, and like I said I really did not care if I received it or not, and that is only because I did not want to deal with headaches, yeah it was hard financially for me and my children but we did have everything we needed, and I had a pretty good career starting, so I was happy but he never left us alone and that is when I said ok this is enough so I stood up for me and my childrens rights and this is what my results are lost my children, lost my home, lost jobs, lost everything, and now there still trying to make me even more miserable i'm like what the heck do u people want from me they dont leave me alone I get threatened letters from childsupport stating cruel and insult remarks, slandering also, and they are trying to say I owe over 3grand when I had a court order pending at the time when they started coming to me for support, which I never agreed to do, I was still going to court to get my children back where they belong, but they never listened to both sides, I can't believe this happened, I just can't believe the way they handled this case. I never left my children to begin with,if that was the case sure I would pay, but they took my children from me so now whatever it is I make they take just like that, and yes they never did that to the father if anything he got away by not paying childsupport and he had alot and what he was paying is what i'm paying now. I am paying the same amount that he was paying, now this is what I dont get, how can he pay the same amount I did and have a big home w/pool new cars, boat, trips,expensive clothing, gamble, etc. and what I have is food stamps, no shelter, used clothing, and a vehicle I can't afford no longer, I have a storage bin I pay mthly, oh and a phone. wow a phone, foodstamps,no vehicle now,no shelter,and storage, and I get unemployment benefits, they take half of that. hahahha whats wrong with this picture??? And I cant even see my children, they made me look so bad and remind you all they took them away from me for no reason seriously no reason, so now they try to make it look right by slandering me and saying it's all my fault just so they can fix their mistakes by using me and my children and putting the blame on me. I really would like to know how I can get my children back and out of that lie of a life they are living now, I could go on with this situation on here it just amazes me that these people can actually live with themselves after what they did.

I have faith from up above, and I know god is with us all, and I will not give up.
But it hurts not seeing my children, and I was the only one there for them from birth.
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 9:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Myzima,

I'm glad you got some $$$. I know you deserve more but be glad you got this for now. I know it hardly pays for anything, but believe me, it's better than nothing. You have your child, you are very lucky.

I'm glad you got a good Judge. We should all be so lucky!!! Yes, we need more of those!

No, don't let the bitterness consume you. It only hurts you (and the children). You are like fine gold...remember that, you are not going to lower yourself to his level. He's nothing but rotton waste and eventually it all crumbles.

Take care and I'm glad it went in your favor.
That's enlightening to hear.
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 9:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hey susan what did your ex say to the courts that made them take your children i dont want to pry but they dont usually take the kids unless they are being abuse and you dont sound like the type i was just wondering i might be able to help you i have had to do a lot of detective work and all kind of stuff because i was almost lost my kids because he was fighting the divorce and custody issue and all that but i stay in fear of losing my son to him kidnapping my son i get very nuratic when it comes to my child i have heard about all the ex fathers and mother taking off with the kids and never coming back it is so scary let me know what i can do
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 9:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Myzima,

Our divorce took place in Southern California.
I got original custody, but two years later Dork took me back to court with a high dollar attorney. I did not have the finances to afford any legal representation. I went thru many doors but because I was working, I was disqualified for help. I had just got off "welfare" since Dork was not paying and the District Attorney/child support division was aware of it and not doing a doggone thing.

The Judge that handled it is a well known woman hater and before I could even comprehend what was going on (mind you, they never even looked at my paper work)....just like that, my girls were gone.
This Judge has been known to "recuse" himself from a few court battles. Wish I could have been that lucky when I was going thru it.

I kept blaming myself and trying to find the reason why it happened. Most people do the "eye brow lift" and the whispers. People want to believe the worst about people because then it sounds more gratifying for a reason.

That's my question? What is my crime? What were my daughters crimes? We have NEVER been arrested, committed, engaged in wild and outlandish lifestyles, endangerment. No drugs, no alcohol, abuse or any other. Our crime was we were doing what we thought Americans are supposed to do....
do an honest day's work for an honest day's pay, eat, sleep, work. Our crime was laughing, singing, dancing, trying to teach the girls new words, alphabets, showing them what I could when
I could (like going to the park or visiting a friend). In an instant, it was dissolved.

The mothers I've met are not criminals. Their crime was trying to protect themselves and their children and give them a semi-decent normal life.
Mothers never stop worrying about their children, (are they hungry, are they warm enough, are they hurt, how do my babies feel,etc).

Then when you are given "weekend" visitations and holiday visits and watch your babies scream and cry because they don't want you to leave or you to leave them and ask questions like "why did this happen" and you can't even give them a worthy destroys a mother.

I thought I was alone for many years. I know what it's like to be a victim of persecution because you hear "they don't just take kids from their mothers without a reason" BS!!! Yes they do and they don't have to give a reason.

I can't stress it enough. Look how corrupt Southern California is!!! It's all about the $$$$
and not for the principle. They do not have the children's best interest at heart, all they think about is your dollar in their pocket and bank!!!
Your hard earned and honest money is doing nothing but feeding these low down attorneys and judges so they can keep their golf carts going at the Country club. Do you really think they care?

They feed off of one's emotions especially when a mother has been kicked down, all the while, seeing what they can get from you and dangling you on a string. The longer they can keep it going, the more $$$$ for them. That's why it never really ever ends. Until one parent either moves away or dies.

It wasn't until 2003 that I started meeting mothers everywhere with the same stories as mine.
It was comforting to know I wasn't alone but yet sickening too. I befriended wonderful moms and reading their stories was reflections of my own.

Mothers lose custody every single day....not because they did anything wrong, but simply because they didn't have the $$$ or the power to fight them back. Mothers have lost custody from lies, technicalities and lack of support.

There was NO reason. Oh, excuse me. Perhaps I lied because I cried and if a mother cries...well then, she's "emotionally unstable", but let a father cry (crocodile tears) and awwwww, he's so sensitive. Mothers crimes are that they tell the truth and if they were victims of domestic violence, well then, she must have done something wrong to upset the man!

Don't think for a moment or try to fool yourself into believing there is "justice" in a courtroom.
I'm so happy when I do read enlightening and inspirational stories because then it gives the rest of us hope. Think about the OJ Simpson case, I personally feel he is guilty. Here's two innocent victims screaming from their graves for justice for over a decade now and OJ is riding around in a golf cart WITH custody of the kids.
Even if he was found "not guilty", he should still be spending time behind bars for all the times he assaulted Nicole. My heart goes to the kids.

Yes, it's scary when parents take their children, but you need to understand too, if a mother takes the child (to protect them and get them away from an abusive and traumatic situation), she will be put in jail. Ohhhhhh, but let a father and see all the excuses they will let them get away with.

I've heard so many stories and yes, I'm guilty of being gullable....only because when I can't believe something could does. Truth is stranger than me!!!

I used to watch movies on Lifetime (and still do) and always thought that they were leaving out details or not telling the full truth, well now I know better. I now know it sure can happen.

Even children are not allowed to have a voice or speak their mind. We have to unite to stop this injustice from occurring. My friend has a son named Eric and she used his name to get a very strong point across "EQUAL RIGHTS INCLUDE CHILDREN". No one ever thinks it could happen to them, trust me, I never thought for a moment this could happen. Mind you, Dork has a felony record. There are over 3 million mothers without custody now. I'm not saying every single one of those mothers may be innocent, maybe some of them don't deserve to have their children, but for the majority that I've been blessed to meet, we are all in unison and are a "sisterhood" because only we can understand each others pain.

So Myzima, if you could offer any insight as to why this nonsense is occurring, we would like to know. We want answers too.

Just look at this website, there are others too.
In 2004 I signed up with NANCM (National Association for Non-Custodial Moms). I think I was almost the 200th mom to join, now there's probably well over 1000! There are many moms that don't know how to use a computer or have access to one or I'm sure you'd see more. It's starting to get some recognition and those that have been guilty of destroying lives are getting nervous!!!

I always hope and pray everyday for moms and children everywhere. I can most certainly identify with their fears and pain. My story is not as "colorful" as a lot that I've read. We could almost just change the names, dates and locations and we would pretty much have the same story.

I get so aggravated because I do see how some of these moms treat their children and I wonder why they get to keep theirs. Then I relive my happy moments and cherish them in my heart of the short amount of time I had with my girls but the love we have for each other is enough for a lifetime, and I will NEVER give up on my girls. I NEVER gave them up and I won't start now. I'm going to build a life so that when they are ready and old enough, I'm here for them ...forever and always.

I have a problem with "forgiveness" because I can't seem to forgive any of those that created all this mess and continue to do so. I pray that none of these moms will get to this point. I know it's easy for me to advise people not to get bitter, but I myself can't overcome it. I think that's what keeps my "drive" going.

Moms are doing what they can, they aren't stopping. There are letters, petitions and PBS finally broadcasted "Breaking The Silence" and it's created an uproar. We've all tried to contact the media, press and the courts themselves and have hit a deaf ear and blind eye but we won't stop. Our children need us.

Women may be bent but we aren't broken, we can make a difference. It's just getting to the right source(s) to hear our children's cries.

Take care. Since you are blessed to have your son, can you get orders to keep the ex away??
My ex did it out of spite, because he could and because the corrupt courts allowed it.
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 9:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well right now my ex has supervised visitation because i had gotten an accidental phone call from him and he had left a message talking about getting drugs and it was on a friday and he was suppose to come to get my son for the weekend but i called him and told him not to bother if you are going to be doing drugs you are not getting my son. i was very scared because with my court order i would go to jail for withholding visitaiton but something in me said not to let my son go so any way my ex left me all these messages to try to scare me and by the end of the day i was in tears because i knew i was going to jail. so i had to go get a lawyor spend another two grand to try and get an emergency hearing did not know if i was wasting my money finally after two weeks we got him served and was able to go to court he started crying that i was dening him visitation and the judge which was known for not siding with the females to well really surprised me he told my ex that he was happy that i am trying to protect my son and he told him that he had to go straight to this place to get tested and i was scared because my ex has beating a drug test all i kept thinking was man i wasted all my money on this but things turned out and he ended up failing the drug test for crack cocaine excessive acohol use and pot. but it is not that i dont have my guard down i am always scared that he may try to kidnap my son he is that crazy enough to pull something so i keep a close watch on my son i dont trust noone. but i do know that we do need to ban together. i dont know why these judges do what the do except there is money involved i dont have all the answers but i will fight with any women vecause i believe that women always have the best interst for their children i will keep you and all the other women that are with out their children for this injustice of a world we live in i just want everyone to know i am here for you guys what ever you need
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 9:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Myzima,

GOD bless you. You are very fortunate but I know it's hard ....always wondering and worrying what can happen.

GOOD!!! I'm glad he failed his drug test, that worked all in your favor. See, if they know that this man does all this nonsense, why do they keep punishing you and your son??? He should have NO rights to your son because that is sure child endangerment. Yes, you and your son have rights too and you both should be able to carry on with your lives (without this crackhead).

Thanks for your support. Sorry I rattled off before, just had to vent and let you and others that read this know what's going on. It should NOT have to cost you all that money just to show what a loser your ex is. Trust me, people like that will put their habits before their children and can sometime involve those innocent children and corrupt them.

Take care and I wish the best for you and your son. I just pray that you will both be safe.
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Joe McQuay

Joined: 09 Aug 2011
Posts: 5
State or Province: California

PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 9:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i concur guys must turn out to be developed to hold option of thier youngsters if they are dude adequate to create the babies then they must turn out to be dude adequate to help them. my feelings also are if i should allow the loser see my youngsters then i need to acquire some type of help for them they only way i would say screw the child help is if my ex obtained away from my existence and my childs existence why need to i kill myself help my child in spite of the simple fact that he obtains all the glory
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 16, 2013 2:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

In Illinois, anyway, if the husband (your ex) is not working, first of all is he getting unemployement? Because if he is, you're entitled to a portion of that unemployment check.
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