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pregnant and thinking about divorce

 
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april8201
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 10:28 pm    Post subject: pregnant and thinking about divorce Reply with quote

I am 3 months pregnant. I am thinking about divorcing my husband. I would probably move to Missouri because thats where my family is. I was wondering how I would go about getting custody of my baby when it is born. I do not want any child support at all. I do not want to keep the baby away from its father, but our marriage is not working out and I do not want to bring a baby into all the chaos. Thanks
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midnite
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 10:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

you know in your heart what is right for you and your baby. if you are even thinking of a divorce then something is not right to begin with. if there is something missing a baby will not fill it. if you two are not meant to be for another a baby will not change this and it will only make it harder on all parties ecspecially the child, when you two fight and eventually divorce. remember if you are not happy your baby wont be either. Most imporantly, you want your child to have the most happiest, loving enviroment that you can give them. as far as custody goes i would contact the family court in your city they will have the info on your rights and there should be no charge. it would be bebeficial to call the family court in your family's city (missuri) and compare. find out what city you would have to file with, it maybe the city that your child is born in. also find a lawyer(s) that giive yu free consultations in both cities. as far as missuru lawyers go they will probably do one over the phone with you. if they offer free consultations then it should be risk free, no obligation..only see those lawyers for the consult and DONT! sign anything. (thats what i had to do) good luck
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Sunny
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 10:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pregnant and thinking of divorce?

Think it over very carefully and if you still come up with the only alternative of Divorce then go to Missouri before you have the baby, make it your place of residence---prior to birth.

Find a good family law lawyer in Missouri to give you the reason why?
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carincatalano
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 10:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am also pregnant with our 3rd child and am definitely divorcing from my husband. I live in Washington and am also from Missouri where my family is now. I also know good resources for family law in MO if you need help. I agree that you need to move there now to avoid a nasty custody situation. Although you may have a tough time. In many states, you will not be granted a divorce while you are pregnant unless provisions are made in the papers for the new baby. It can be as simple as one sentence acknowledging the child but the father may insist upon an outline on visitation. Another option is to file from divorce from MO. I was told this would have helped me a great deal. If you file from there and establish residency, etc... you may have a stronger case for wishing to stay. And by the way, take the child support. Being a single mother is expensive and if nothing else, start a college fund for your baby. The father owes it and it is the child's right. -Carin
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marina
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 10:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

April,
are you realy sure that divorce is what you want? being pregnant and all, your hormons could be making you really emotional and alot of things that did not bother you before could be a realy big deal now. I am not saing that you are unstable, it just most weman go through some form of emotional hardship during their pregnancies. maybe you should talk to your doctor to se if he can halp you feel happier during this time. your hormons are changing so fast, that it can make you feel and act like a totaly different person. Maybe if there is a chance, your doctor can explane it to your husband and maybe you can find a way to work it out. it could be that your husband is not used to you act the way you do now (efected by pregnancy) and it is casing alot of domestic distres. i only sudgest that you reserch all the pocebilities before spending thousends of dolars on a divorce and understand that if you are stressed now, starting a divorce proces while you are pregnant or just had a baby will make things iven more stresful. there are suport groups in your area usualy ren through the hospital that lets expecting mothers talk and work things out together. at least maybe you will get an aportunity to get new friends that are in a similar situation as yours. good lock, let us know what you decide. we are all on your side and if i can ofer any assistance a specially if you move to MO, just let me know koganm@ipd.cc.
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carincatalano
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 10:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree with Marina to some extent, April. Pregnancy and babies do cause a lot of distress domestically and in a marriage. It changes everything. You could be experiencing hormonal imbalance as well. I know that I did both before and after the babies were born. In my case, my husband left the first time after my second child was born (2 months old) - now he is leaving when I am pregnant with my third. I don't believe that I caused it, in fact, I believe I had nothing to do with it. Hormonal distress just makes it harder to cope. No body here knows your situation and why you wish to divorce but if there is even the slightest chance that things could work, I firmly believe that you both have a responsiblity to the child to exhaust ALL of your resources before seperating - which includes counseling. Know Dr. Phil? To quote him,"you both need to EARN your way out of a marriage." Children are definitely better in a 2 parent home unless the relationship continues to be unhealthy. If there truly is no hope, if he is abusive or a drug addict (for example), then leaving is the right thing to do. I now know that breaking an established attachment to a parent through divorce and/or moving is much worse later than when the child is too young to understand. But if there is a chance here, then your baby will be far healthier emotionally having an attachment to it's father. Most attachment takes place in the first year of life and it serves to actually shape your child neurologically. This in turn will affect how he/she interacts in all of it's relationships for life. Just some more food for thought for you. Keep us posted.
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carincatalano
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 10:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

One other thing, April, keep in mind that if you do move to MO, it is likely that you will be forced to send the child on it's own to it's father for summers and possibly holiday vacations. Courts are really reluctant to cut off a father's visitation rights unless there are serious allegations of abuse; this is regardless of whether or not you share custody. Having custody now mostly means that you make decisions for the child with respect to school, religion and medical issues and has less to do with residential time. I have moving and wonder as a mom and wonder if my children aren't more protected where I can be closeby and monitor what is happenning with them.
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jamie1



Joined: 27 May 2014
Posts: 5
State or Province: Ontario

PostPosted: Sat May 31, 2014 11:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is obviously a difficult time for you to be making that decision, but when you know, you know. just make sure you pick the right lawyer - I'm so happy I found a good one. My divorce lawyer http://galbraithfamilylaw.com/ from Barrie was so helpful to me, so understanding and knowledgeable. I hope you find someone like that too.
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