Joined: 26 Oct 2014
State or Province: Maryland
|Posted: Sun Oct 26, 2014 8:46 pm Post subject: Newly single mom - Live near family or good schools?
I'm a newly single mom of an infant. I've been researching the heck out of schools, because I want my son to go through all 3 schools with the same set of kids like I did. I think it gives a sense of security, and avoids the drop in grades and potential mood swings associated with being the new kid.
I was granted court permission to relocate with the baby from the state I lived with my ex to the state in which I was raised (so the ex isn't around to help, I believe he intends to be more of a "Disneyland dad", despite my urging for him to move to see the baby more).
The area I grew up in doesn't have the best schools, but the next county over has some of the best in the country. If I relocate near the better schools to give my son a great education, will it be better for him than living closer to family the next county over but worse schools and more crime? The drive between the the area with the good schools and my family is about an hour, more with traffic. Close enough for weekend visits, but getting help during the week for doctor appts, date nights, etc. would be nearly impossible due to rush hour traffic.
I have one old friend in the area with the good schools, and imagine I'll eventually establish a network of friends in this new area, but nothing is the same as family looking over the baby. With that said, the only family that I trust with my son are his godparents (and they are expecting to move in 9 years when their son graduates), a friend (putting her house on the market next May), and my father (but only supervised with the baby). So, while I do have help, it's not a lot and they won't be around to help with my son through graduation.
I also worry about him getting into the wrong crowd if living in the worse of the two areas near family. But in the better area I worry about him being the "poorer" of the kids since it's a pretty wealthy area with the good schools, and I'm by no means wealthy.
So, my questions are...
1. Thoughts on which is better for my son in the long run -- worse neighborhood/schools, but closer to family or better neighborhood/schools but further from family?
2. Also, dumb question, but if you're a single parent with no family nearby, how do you juggle things like your own doctor appointments, gym (as gym daycare hours are only offered during work hours), etc, when you can't watch the baby? Who watches the little one? You can't really get a sitter for 1.5 hours every few weeks.
Thanks in advance!