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Primary custody and adoptive child

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 16, 2006 4:33 pm    Post subject: Primary custody and adoptive child Reply with quote

How shall I tell my son about a new addition to the family (via international adoption). He is seven years old and I have primary custody of him. I hope he will understand...since he will not be around ALL the time (sometimes at his biological father's house). I don't want him to feel like he is not Number One in my current husband and my eyes.
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 16, 2006 4:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My husband and me are in the exact same situation. We will be doing a US adoption and have primary custody over my 5-year-old son who visits his dad every other weekend. We are going to take the approach this child belongs to all three of us. It will take a joint effort from mom, dad, and big brother to raise this child. Plus, this adoptive child can keep mom and Dad Company while our son is at his fathers, since we miss him so much when he is gone. It will be an adjustment for him, but we will continue to treat our son as being special like we always have. Anyone else have any idea who has actually been through this?
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Quintessencial ONE

PostPosted: Mon Jan 16, 2006 4:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"I don't want him to feel like he is not Number One in my current husband and my eyes"

In all fairness, and honesty, your biological child will not be NUMBER ONE in your and your re-marriage's eyes, so why try to dupe the child into thinking so?

There is no difference in your situation and that of a newborn coming into the picture. The elder child still must be dealt with in such a manner so as to include them in your love and nurturing, while showing them enough respect as human beings not to try to lie to them about their remaining the little prince or princess.

There is a movement, an aberrant branch of the radical feminist movement, which has it in for the role of father and manhood. This "movement" has been instrumental in dismantling the institution of the American Family through implementation of two primary devices:

A. Media promotion of the image of men and fathers as stupid dolts who do not father, but who are comical figures of inconvenience to the lives of their children and their wives.

B. A Family Law System which has built into it a process of elimination which extracts fathers arbitrarily from their children's lives, then forcing the mothers onto state-aid and making the child another social services statistic. Meanwhile the father is dehumanized and made into a long distance benefactor who is forbidden to "father" his children.

This insidious system which appears to serve the purpose of destabilizing our nation through emasculation, causing our nation's children to grow up in the absence of strong father figures and who are taught to be reliant on "the system" for sustenance.

This insidious "process" is not only contrary to the healthy functioning of families, runs against Biblical scripture and the intentions of our (dare I say it) Founding Fathers, but it has been linked to such social dysfunctions as promise to collapse our nation from the inside out.

Who can make a change, setting the crooked way straight? You and I can!

How? Donate and network with Michael Robinson of Men's Solutions at: Men's Solutions is an affiliate of The American Coalition for Fathers and Children.

Michael Robinson has lobbied to make changes, and I have direct first hand knowledge of the fact that he and his family suffers as a result of the many sacrifices this one man has made to change the system to a greater point of balance, restoring our great American Family.

We have several issues that we want to address in new legislation this next session. Presumption of Shared Parenting, Protection for Military Reservists (child support modification and custody/marriage issues), Restraining Order Abuse (false allegations) in memory of Steve Tipaldi and gender discrimination of Domestic Violence Policies.

For the first time here in California or in any other state we have had full time representation (daily, 8 to 10 hours a day and more) at our state capital. As a result we have had 3 major victories the year. The defeat of Burtons Anti LaMusga SB 730, keeping AB 252 language intact to include Navarro and keeping Navarro Published. This is an unheard of precedence for a single year.

It has taken a great deal of faith for Mr. Robinson to continue as long as he has to accomplish so many great advances this last year and set us up for this next session.

The Bottom line is we need your support to continue. Those who have opposed reform have had full time representation in our capital for many years now with huge money backing them yet we defeated them this year.

California is a bellwether state so any gains we make here will most likely have national fall out. Any donations no matter how small will help us achieve much needed reform now.

The site has PayPal so please help. Many are already benefiting from our work so if you or someone you know has or will, please urge them to help support this effort for all's sake.

Donate at: today!

Thank you,

James D. Chamberlain - Advocate
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