Joined: 28 Apr 2016
State or Province: North Carolina
|Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2016 8:17 pm Post subject: I HATE this! It's frustrating!!!
|This is going to be long, and probably confusing, hopefully you can stick with me here while I try to explain it all and not have to repeat answers too much or cause confusion by leaving out info!
I have a 7 year old who I have joint custody of. He attends school zoned for where his dad lives, which is across town from our home. And as a side note, my ex and I do NOT get along well, he thinks he gets to control everything and what he says goes.... If I suggest anything I am shot down unless he in some way benefits from it in which case many times he will say no but turn around and ask me to do exactly the same thing a couple days or weeks later!
My 3 yr old recently got an IEP (he had an IFSP prior but aged out of it) and got a spot in what is basically considered a special needs preschool, essentially same rules as a normal elementary school has but a preschool and they work with kids who have delays and other issues. His therapists along with other professionals who've either worked with us or him or done evaluations for him think a school setting would help him tremendously so this was GREAT news for us! It would also help me be able to get some school work done and handle business stuff without spending 85+% of my day doing or taking him to therapy or handling tantrums/meltdowns.
We also have a 4 year old who will be entering kinder in the fall in a different school from my 7 year old.
So school schedules would be:
3 yr old must be dropped off by 8am and picked up at 2:30. No bussing available at all. This school is 15-20 minutes "south" from my home.
4 year old must be dropped off between 7:30 and 8 and picked up at 2:30. This school is 7-ish minutes "east" from my home but has a LOT of traffic.
7 year old must be dropped off between 7:20 and 7:50 and picked up at 2:30. This school is 15-20 minutes "North" from my home, obviously being in a different zoning no bus option to our home.
Seeing a problem here yet? There's more!
My plan? Well, I THOUGHT I could put my 4 and 7 year old into an after school program, go pick up my 3 year old from school then pick up the older 2 from the aftercare program together. Perfect, right? Exactly, too simple, too perfect!
I was planning this while waiting for my attorney to call me and confirm or deny my thoughts on some wording in the custody agreement. I called the afterschool program to find out when registration was and make sure the custody thing wouldn't be an issue. Turns out, it is. They have an attendance policy and 7 yo would not be there enough to stay enrolled. Plus they would both have to stay for 1.5+ hours every day they attended or risk being kicked out. NONE of the schools have any on campus after school programs.
My attorney calls back and confirms my suspicions, the judge added wording to our modified custody agreement restricting me (or ex as well- though he'd never put him on a bus anyway) from putting my oldest on a bus or hiring someone to drive him.
So I have to be in THREE places at 2:30, it's not physically possible. I don't have a family member who can help that often, once in a while sure but not this much. Not to mention if I was trying to work (I have been considering finding something part time, mainly during the school day) I couldn't unless by some miracle I found a job that was within the school hours with enough time to get to/from the school which has yet to happen.... oddly enough my ex and his attorney tried tearing into me in court for not working and being a SAHM last time we went!!
Anyway, basically we hit a wall, what the heck do we do now?!
At this point we have come to the conclusion that we will enroll 3 yo into a daycare that will work with his IEP AND has transportation from 4 yo's school so I can pick up 7 yo on weeks he is here then go to the daycare to pick up the younger 2 boys from there. By far from ideal and I HATE my 3 yo has to miss out on this opportunity and 4 yo have to go to aftercare EVERY school day because of the situation with 7 yo but we don't see any other choice. Biggest problem now is how we are going to afford the childcare.
If you've stuck it out this far, thank you for listening (reading) my vent! Lol. Hopefully I made sense as much as possible