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Need some advice...

 
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SaraB
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:02 am    Post subject: Need some advice... Reply with quote

I am a single mother to a 2 1/2 month old little girl. The father was active in my life after the first 2 months of my pregnancy. After, the fact he slept around on me those two months and gave me a curable std. I called him numerous time and he never returned my phone calls. Needless to say he called my once after she was born and did not even leave a message. He does not work and is an alcholic who goes out every night. And i know dabbles in drugs here and there. He has been saying he is going to take me to court to some people. I doubt he will. But, if he does will or can he possibly get any rights to her? He is not on the birth certificate.
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tanyamotherpa
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well for starters id he the bio-father? He could get visitation most likely. You will have to prove him unfit. From what you have said it really sounds like he doesn't really care. The sad thing is that he can go in and out of the childs life and there is little you can do. But you have some things going for you since you didn't put his name on the birth certicate and that he hasn't made any contact with the child. Good luck and be prepared for anything.
Tanya
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SaraB
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, he is the biological father and there is no doubt about that. Could he even get visitation w/ having no job, being at the bar every night. He has been abusive in the past and is court documented and tried to kill himself a few years ago. The cops in my town call him the bar fly and knowof his past. Could there testimony help me in anyway? Couldn't I say he is unstable and unfit to care for her. I don't see how they would want a dad to be in and out it just does not seem fair my little girl. Would it go against him waiting to take me if he does? Thanks so much!!!
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tanyamotherpa
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your ex sounds a lot like mine. After I left him he only saw the kids five times in six months. He also told me he didn't want anything to do with them until he made up his mind if he wanted to be in their lives. He didn't come back around until I filed for child support. Then he showed up on day and descided he wanted them. I refused but he took the kids out of the house. I then filed for custody. But when we went to court he was able to get every other weekend and every Wednesday. Since then the cops have been at my house at least every other month and he still drinks and does drugs around my kids. But my lawyer tells me we have to actully catch him doing it. You can read some of my story in here about poosibly sexually abuse. I know how terrifed you are and I am every time my kids leave. All I do is pray and hope god actully listens to me. I hope in your state the laws are different then in Pa. I am going back to court to see if I can change things but I don't know. If you do go to court make sure you demand a drug test within 72 hours. Also have someone follow him taking pictures of what he is doing. I really don't think he will take you to court since he hasn't yet. In my agreement if he misses three consecutive visits he revokes his right to see the kids then. If he is gone for six months or more with no child support you could have someone adopt the child. You probably could even do that since he isn't on the birth certicate. I hate to say it but I can't wait to my ex messes up so bad that he can't get them back. I know you want to protect your daughter and you can. Just do your homework and if you go to court make sure you are prepared for anything. My ex was goiong to make me get a DNA test for our daughter but he found out since we were married when she was born there was nothing he could do either way. You can e-mail me if you would like. allonanicolestar@yahoo.com. I wish you the best and I am here if you need any advice.
Tanya
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