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Forced to let 5 year old fly alone

 
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dylansmom
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 6:23 pm    Post subject: Forced to let 5 year old fly alone Reply with quote

Due to my divorce which was completed in 2001 Texas law forces me to let my child at age 5 fly alone to visit father one weekend a month. Right now I fly with him at my own expense and stay in a hotel for the weekend and wait for his visit to end. This costs me between 1000.00 to 1500.00 a month. Twice as much as my child support. The cost of this is very staining but I can't even imagine putting my 5 years old an a flight alone. I'm currently trying to have this changed but it doesn't look good. Any advice? Help---
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marina
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 6:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Try to be reasonable (i know this sounds bad) and tell the court that with curent situation with teror alerts, it is in the best interest of the child, if to fly, to acomponied by an adult. also ask them that it would be fair if the cost is shared 50/50. Also that maybe every other months the father will fly to your town and spend time with your child in your town. you can probably motivate it by saying that if he truly wants to be a part of childs life by being aquointed with childs suroundings. The father could stay at the hotel with the child fot the weekend at some interesting plases like camp grounds, lakes, other places of atraction. It will inreach their visit and be less stresful to the child and to you. also less financial burden for you. This is just a thought. what do you think of it?

best of lock
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dylansmom
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 6:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for the imput--- Before August 2003 we did split the cost of the visit. His dad would come here--I'd meet him at the airport and he'd fly back and visit with him it Texas. I then would go on Sunday and pick Dylann up. But according to Texas law---children at the age of 5 are to fly alone. My ex is extremely lethal and is acctually trying to hurt me in every way he can. I've offered to pay for his ticket to coe here and visit istead of having dylan do all the traveling. he refused. It's so sad--- he never calls--- we call on Holidays even and he won't pick up the phone. He didn't even buy him a Christmas present or return our calls on Christmas. I'm re-married now ans we have a very safe life here where we're surrounded by a large family and friends. My ex is also remarried. I'm not trying to stop visitation but there are somethings that I am very concerned about when he visits his dad. His dad is an alcholic, he allows Dylan(age 5) to watch r rated movies, Austin Powers, King of the Hill, the man show, Southpark etc...he has 2 guns that he leaves in reachable places and know that Dylan has found. I'm scared to death every time he visits his dad... The judge will not let anyone speak except the lawyers so it's frustrating. When Dylan goes to visit the child that I knew doesn't come back...he says bad things---tells stories about how much his dad hates me etc.... When Dylan visits for the 6 week summer trip his dad puts him in daycare from 6am to 6pm. He has no friends there he doesn't even let me talk to him except maybe every other week. It's so sad---Dylan hates going--- he's lonely there and we are very close so he misses me. We have a fun filled exciting life here with lots of friends , cousins and activities. Dylan feels that he doesn't want to hurt his dad by tellign him he doesn't want to go so often and why doesn't he come here. I've tried to speak with his dad but he will not consider it. It's so sad to think that when Dylan gets on a plane on Sunday night that his dad could actually go home , have dinner, relax even see a 2 hour movie and Dylan would still be traveling to get home...I think the system stinks.
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marina
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 6:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Try to record some conversations with your ex maybe this will help you in court. maybe phone conversations or home conversations with your son could be recorded to. See if you can get a counseler for your son and you ecouse you can yse them as expert witnes. best of lock
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rusty
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 6:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

First I would like to say that this is tough because you have a son that is very young and probably did not get to know his dad very well. I sounds like your ex is making you make this trip more to inconvenience you than he cares about his child. I know you say in the summer the child is in daycare, but is he there while the father works, it would be nice if the dad could spend more time with him but is he has to work this may be his only alternative for child care. If the dad is indeed not spending any quality time with the child and does not seem to care if he is really there or not have you asked him if he would be willing to relinquish his rights to the child, Afterall you are spending all of your child support money on traveling, instead of what is necessary for the child and he may be doing this out of spite. It is really sad that when parents split up, it becomes such a fight and the poor kids are the ones in the middle, you hear of rare occassions when the parents are amicable. I did see where someone mentioned recording phone conversations and I was told that they are not admissable in court unless the person knows they are being recorded. Also I have experienced that sometimes a child will sometimes tell you what he thinks you want to hear so as not to hurt your feelings.
It sounds like you moved quite a distance from the father, sometimes things change in our lives and we have to move but the child's dad could resent the fact that you moved and he is unable to see the child very often....You also mentioned that the father drinks alot and is an alcholic, has he been diagnosed as this or this is how you feel? My husbands exwife always said this about my husband because he did drink alot when they were married but people do that sometimes when they are unhappy, when we got together he did not drink much and very rarely when his son was around but she continued to bring this up in court and would tell her son (and anyone that would listen)that his dad was a drunk. My personal feelings is when there is a divorce and children are involved each parent should have the kids a week at a time so they both have to share the responsibility and raising of the children, not just one parent. Your ex should not keep your son from speaking to you when he is staying with him for the summer, I think parents forget these kids did not ask to be born, we brought them into this world and it is both parties responsibility to raise them even the parents split up,,,,kids need both parents in their lives.
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Barb
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 6:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Find out if recorded phone conversations are allowed as evidence in your state as some states it is legal as long as one party knows it is being recorded. No child should have to go through the trauma of being torn from their mothers arms and no court should be allowong this to happen, but the federal government is behind all of this crap as they are funding these so called responsible fatherhood projects. States will lose federal funding if fathers do not get custody, just about the sickest thing I've ever seen. Children need both parents is nothing but the fathers righters slogan. This way they get out of child support and they get to control every move you as a person makes. I do believe this is in direct violation of our consitutional rights. Family court does not treat a child as a human being, but merely as property to be divided. A child does not want to hurt mommy's feeling by saying they want to live with mommy is nothing more then what the fathers righters want to push as another slogan. I do not know of any child that wants father over mother. Child abuse of all types has become legal for bio-fathers.
No child needs a child abuser in their life.
NO CHILD is Safe in Family Courts.

Barbara
Wisconsin
MOTHERS UNITE!!!!!
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