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PAS (Parental Alienation Syndrome) where mother is victim

 
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mora
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 7:15 pm    Post subject: PAS (Parental Alienation Syndrome) where mother is victim Reply with quote

I'm an Italian mom of 2 wonderful boys and we live in Germany. My ex-husband and father of the kids was abusive to me (physically and mentally as well). Now after a long divorce he applied for getting full custody of the boys, who are 7 and 5. He charges me of very bad things, that are not true and I know he manipulates the kids everytime he can. He says that our children are at a first stage of PAS because I am very negative towards him and talk bad of him with the kids. Also he charges me of beating the kids and of not being aware of their problems. That is all not true. The exact contrary is true. Anyone of you has the same experience?
Social Services are already involved and they are going to test me about my capacity of being a mother and educate my kids. I feel it like such a huge intrusion in my life. I am not better and not worse than any other average mother. I have a good lawyer and still I am afraid of losing my children to a man who had beaten me, made me a psychological wreck. They are 2 boys, what kind of father can he be to them? They should learn how to be men, from him?
And there is an abuse of this PAS theory to advantage of fathers for sure. I feel like the victim here.
I appreciate any comment, any experience and any piece of advice.
Sorry for my English and thanks Smile
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slbennett1025@yahoo.com
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 7:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Mora,

Yes, many of us can relate and by the way, your English is perfect.

My ex is using PAS against me as often as he can with our daughters and when that was brought up, it was completely ignored. However, sad to say, when a man claims PAS, all of a sudden, it's an issue and the mother is made out to be a criminal.

Many women have only tried to protect their children but because of our corrupt court systems were placed right back into the hands of these abusers and in hostile environments. The fathers started crying out "father's rights" and "PAS" and just like that, the children were given to him on a silver platter. Yet, nothing is done to protect the mother's or especially the children from this situation.

I know you are a wonderful mother and he will pay for telling lies about you. I think a majority of us that have encountered this have been victims of it (horrible lies and total pay offs).

I pray that you and your sons will stay together and that these lies will come back and bite him.

Take care Mora and GOD bless you. Susan
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mom of one
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 7:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This PAS is starting to scare me. I'm a mother of one daughter who is four years old. I recently have taken my ex husband to court to change his joint custody into me having full custody because he is very abusive to his new girlfriend, in front of my daughter when she visits her father. My daughter started coming home and talking about what goes on over at his house. I left him for this reason... I didn't want my daughter growing up seeing such violence and thinking it was okay for a man to hit a woman. But, now its happening in front of her anyways. She loves her fathers girlfriend and it really has made her hate her father. She cries and says she doesn't want to go to daddys house because he's mean. So, I am in the process of letting the courts deside. So, far - no one will listen because she's only four they all say! My daughter regardless of if shes only four knows whats going on and knows what shes talking about. It just really ticks me off - if I where to say oh well, she'll get over it, and ignore it - I would be considered a bad mom. But, because I'm saying something and standing up and saying I wont let this happen in front of my daughter, everyone is making it seem like its not a big deal. The justice system sucks when it comes to protecting children. And when I heard about PAS - I know if his attorney or my ex knows about this "So called Syndrome" they are so going to try and put that on me. I feel like no matter what I do to try and protect my child - nothing works. Now that I'm fighting for full custody - he now is fighting for full custody. At first I didn't think anything of it because, I have absolutly nothing he can use against me. But, now finding out about PAS - I know if he gets the oportunity he will use it in a second. I've read other stories of mothers losing custody because of this. How can a good mother loose custody of their child all because the father claims she has PAS????? Please help a worried mother!!!
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Barb
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 7:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Parent Alienation Syndrome is the legal defense men use in child custody cases where the bio-father is abusing the child, physicially, mentally and sexualy. The child is the victim and Judges are making this legal. Yes this is an outrage and must be stopped! We must Unite, they the "Judges" don't care what is happening to your children,in fact they are court ordering abuse for your children. You don't have to be a bad mother, all that is needed is that the so called father does not want to pay child support, fathers righters are too powerful and have gotten way out of control.
Let us Unite together and change the HORROR'S our children are being put through for the sake of federal money!

Barbara
Wisconsin
Mothers Unite!
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