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I need advice please

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Joined: 19 Nov 2007
Posts: 1
State or Province: Arkansas

PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 12:00 am    Post subject: I need advice please Reply with quote

I married my husband in 2003. Our relationship has always been rocky. He is very controling and mentally and verbally abusive. He owns many guns, knifes, cross bows and many other weapons because he hunts for sport. Our main agruement has always been money and his carelessness with the weapons. Once he shot through the house while target praticing outside, almost hitting me and on another occasion he almost shot me again while cleaning a gun. We had our first child , a girl, in Jan. 2005. I became pregnant again and because of his abuse and our relationship continuing to crumble I left him in 2006 when I was 6 months along. I lived with my parents because I was unable to work. My husband and/or his mother visited my 2 year old daughter almost daily. I never denied him visitation with her. He took her places and even to his home. When more issues came to light such as him taking our 2 yr old out in the woods while he was trapping and getting his hand caught in the trap. My fear was he would do this and be unable to care for our daughter and she would be in the woods alone. Another time he shot and killed a racoon that was in one of his traps in front of our daughter. After hearing about this I still let him see her because I felt I had no choice but no over night visitations. I was planning to move out of town in hopes of putting distances between us and gettign my daughter and unborn child away. Our son was born in late 2006 and again I let him visit but would not allow him to take our new born out of my parents home on the pretense that I was breast feeding and he couldn't do that for our son. It was the only excuse I had. My daughter would go places with him only because I didn't know I could stop him from taking her.
I moved 4 hours away in Jan 2007 and that bought us some safety and time. He came to where I live now and visited with the children on 2 occasions but always in my presents. We returned to where he lives a couple of times and I allowed my daughter to go with him again because I didn't think I could stop him until I talked with a lawyer and he advised me otherwise. We have been separated for over a year now. The divorce is still not final and my husband took me to court for visitation rights. He has never paid child support and I am living on goverment assistants and help from my family. I do not own a automobile and have to rely on my parents for transpertation. During the court proceedings my husband testified that I would not let him see the children. My mother testified about the conditions of his home (we had pictures showing this guns leaned in the corners of different rooms, in the bedrrom floor and other places as well as trash and food rotting in the kitchen, condom wrappers laying in the floor and the house in a total wreck...he had pictures showing his guns in a gun cabinet which he never owned before and his house semi clean) My mother also testified about his mental and verbal abuse, the 2 occasions he almost shot me and a few other things. I do not feel we were ready for this type of hearing which basicly turned into a lot of mud slinging from his side. I did not testify on my lawyers advice. Although the court has ordered him to pay child support, they have also given him unsupervised over night visitation with my daughter and because my son still breast feeds only day time visitations with him. It will be my burden to see that the children are taken to the town where he lives which is 4 hours away, every other weekend. I just dont understand how this could happen. I do not own a vehcile but yet I have to drive my children 235 miles away and place them in the care of a man I left while I was pregnant because of the weapons and abuse issues. I can't afford another lawyer and feel trapped and let down by our justice system. Please, I apologize for this being so long but if any one could advise me on what I can do or share any info that might help I would greatly appreciate it.
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