An Online Monthly Magazine for Mothers
Serving Single Mothers, Single Mothers by Choice, Single and Married Custodial Moms, Non-Custodial Moms
Home        MESSAGE BOARDS

SearchMothers.com Forum Index
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 



Inconsistent Father wants more visitation

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    SearchMothers.com Forum Index -> Child Support Issues
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Jo



Joined: 08 Jan 2008
Posts: 2
State or Province: New York

PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 11:06 am    Post subject: Inconsistent Father wants more visitation Reply with quote

Hi all,

I am a single mom of a 2 year old and was never married to the father of my child. We lived to together for a few months until my son was 2 months and I had to kick him out for all the appropriate reasons. It has been 2 years and he has not given my son more than a total of $400 and diapers here and there when he feels like it. He was more interested in gaining a relationship back with me than being a father. Now he is demanding to pick up his son and have him spend a full day with him in addition to having him sleep over. I have no child support filed but I am thinking of doing so to make him responsible for something for his son. He did sign a paternity paper and I do want my son to spend SOME time with his father.........but how do I allow a man to be a father when he wants to be?
Is it okay for a father to provide money/diapers, when he feels like it?
What kind of right does he have if this goes to court. I am the sole carer for my child and really do not need anything from him but consistency as a father. He has been nothing but a disappointment as a father for over 2 years and now demands 50/50 rights of his son. Would a court allow him joint custody if this gets to that point?
PLEASE ADVISE I am so confused and scared.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Still in Love



Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Posts: 216
State or Province: California

PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 9:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Do yourself a favor and file first... let him know that he can see the baby for a few weeks with you there, and then have a few hours on the weekend by himself, and you and him can go to court and work out a visitation schedule and child support while he consistently builds a relationship with his child and his child gets use to being with him.

When you file, file for support asking only what the calculated support is. and request primary physical custody with reasonable visitation and joint legal custody. If I were you, I would get an attorney to do all the filing for you... and I would file before you let him know... like this week even... and just non chalantly mention to him the next time he brings up taking your son over night that you and him will be able to work all that out at mediation since you wanted to make it all legal...

Do not just go with an oral agreement... get a court order... that way if he doesn't spend the time, you have a record of what it should be... and you can keep track of his inconsistancies.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Jo



Joined: 08 Jan 2008
Posts: 2
State or Province: New York

PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 8:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I so appreciate the advice, I will definitely take the next step and file. I had a consult with an attorney yesterday that advised me accordingly.
I am just scared that he may receive 50/50 custodial rights of our son when he has no right to.
My child has been cared for and loved by me and now he steps in and decides he wants the same rights.
He also works off the books and will most def claim that he has no job as he was married before and has a 12 yr old son where he paid no child support and went to jail twice for non payment. He has repeated history and I can only pray that a court of law will take that into consideration.
While we were together I paid his others son child support because he always struggled with money, thousands of dollars that he has never paid back.................I do not want this saga to continue, I want their to be scheduled visits and child support so that he is forced to be responsible and stick to a schedule. Any and all advise, comments is so appreciated because like most of us, I feel lost and confused with such difficulty in making the right decision for me and most importantly my beautiful child.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    SearchMothers.com Forum Index -> Child Support Issues All times are GMT - 6 Hours
Page 1 of 1

 


Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum




Powered by phpBB © phpBB Group
©Copyright 1998 to 2016 SearchMothers.com  |   Legal  |   About Us  |   Contact Us  |   Become a Member: Join Now or Login