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just need some advice about hostile stepmom

 
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myboyismylife



Joined: 18 Nov 2007
Posts: 8
State or Province: Texas

PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 2:31 pm    Post subject: just need some advice about hostile stepmom Reply with quote

I just recently agreed to a less-than-happy custody arrangement because
a) I couldn't afford to go to court and
b) I was hoping that by mediation, it would be best for my child in that things could be more amicable, less hostile

Big mistake.

The moment after I signed the papers, the current girlfriend of my ex (of only 4 months - divorced only 5 months ago) came up to me and told me that now I was going to "have to abide by her rules" because guess what (and here's where she went Jerry-Springer on me and came into my personal physical space, pointing her fingers in my face, as if she wanted a physical altercation)
"I'm his wife!" she tells me.
She held up her hand in my face, showing off her new engagement ring, (which he was able to purchase b/c I agreed to such a reduced amount of child support).
I said, "congratulations but I don't have any bad feelings toward you so let's just keep this peaceful, okay?"
But she wasn't done.
"No, I am his wife (even though they are just engaged, whatever) and you will respect my authority and my rules and you will treat my husband with respect and stop abusing him!"
I looked at her as if she were mad. "Abused, what??" (This is a man with a karate black belt, that most people find intimidating - also the man that verbally abused me for years...)
Her examples of my abuse were that I had asked for him to have my child call me once a day to say hi, and that I'd asked for him to return a toy I had gotten him for Christmas.
This woman has no kids and simply doesn't understand.
I'm not aggressive person. I've never been in this sort of altercation in my life. I feel that her behavior was totally unacceptable.
THe worst part was that she continued with her monologue by telling me that her "stepson" would be under her household and her rules and that as the step mom, everything that happened with him was her business and that I'd better learn to deal with that.
My ex stood by like a lump of clay - she's rich and buying him a new house, who is he to argue with that?
I'm so worried about my child in the home of this obviously vile and volitale person. He has already put her on the emergency contact lists for school and she plans on attending every function -I'm concerned she'd going to start badmouthing me and the like and I feel totaly helpless when my son isn't with me and is with them.
I don't have any problems with my ex remarrying or my son having someone else to love him, let me make that clear.
It's just that anyone who would, unprovoked, behave in such an agreesive, bullying way, especially someone with a lot of money and power, really concerns me.
I'm not allowed to make any motion to modify our legal agreement for at least a year - in the meantime, I have to find a way to stay sane.

Just wondered if anyone had any advice on this?
I know some of you are stepmoms - and so I hope it's clear that I don't have anything against stepmoms. I sing my praises to all of you that are GOOD stepmoms.
This situation is nothing short of a nightmare for me. I just didn't see it coming. I should have, but didn't.
Would appreciate advice for anyone who can relate, anything you found helpful or useful.

Thank you.
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Sterling



Joined: 18 Feb 2006
Posts: 77
State or Province: Texas

PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 7:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

good grief, that sounds horrible.

Honestly, if she threatens you I'd get a RO keeping her away from you. Sounds like she already has threatened you. Document everything she says to you, things she does, etc.....It may be that you could file for parental interference if she keeps it up.

But on that note never agrue back with the *&%#. Always remain calm, mature, and let her look like the idiot.

Coparent only with your ex and never discuss any issues about your child with her. Let her dig herslef in. Believe me, if she is this hostile already you can expect it to get worse, which will benefit you.
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myboyismylife



Joined: 18 Nov 2007
Posts: 8
State or Province: Texas

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 10:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for the info Sterling - I really appreciate it!
I'm definitely going with your suggestions!
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Sterling



Joined: 18 Feb 2006
Posts: 77
State or Province: Texas

PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 8:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey, I would love to hear updates about this. I love overbearing SM's! Got one myself, lol! Not nearly as bad as yours though.

Come join my site it you'd like. You'd fit in nicely!

Smile
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