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Re-married, then custody re-united Mom in 'next phase'..?..

 
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merebekah



Joined: 20 Jan 2008
Posts: 1
State or Province: California

PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 7:31 am    Post subject: Re-married, then custody re-united Mom in 'next phase'..?.. Reply with quote

hello. I love this site, and hope to find tips and offer tips as they come along

To summarize the past that lead me here: I lost custody of my 1 1/2 yr old and 3 year old for almost 2 1/2 years. I struggled for visitation past false accusations of a horrible divorce and trial-and-error of legal counsel exceeding my yearly income. Thankfully, the long struggle lead to mediation outside of dependency court, where my x and I negotiated I keep the youngest- turning 4 that day- full time and visit with the oldest- then 5- on weekends. We'd share legal custody of both children equally, and accord 100% physical custody based on who lived where- i.e.-I have the youngest-boy- he has the oldest-our girl now almost 6.

Out children went through significant trauma from this custody battle, I know. Our boy was not speaking or potty-trained at the age of 4; when he moved in with me I began steps in helping him change that. He is now trained in speech and potty, but still apparently suffers communications, bonding, and trust issues. Our oldest daughter is considered gifted, but is recurrently reported by kindergarten teachers as having difficulty with authority, hitting people, and is very defensive and offensive to me when she visits.

I'm not feelingl that the arrangements of shared custody which we've made are working best for children. Our methods of parenting are so different that our children seem lost.

I look forward to learning other parents experience in order to see other ways shared custody can be approached. I also have a baby with my new husband who is almost 2 years old and am expecting our 4th and final child.
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