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Who Do I Contact?

 
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bellah



Joined: 04 Mar 2008
Posts: 1
State or Province: California

PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 7:00 pm    Post subject: Who Do I Contact? Reply with quote

I'm getting the run around through every government agency that I come across. They either won't refer me to who I need to talk to or tell me to go here or there. Then I run into the same problem.

I'm 28 weeks with my first child, the father wants to be involved ONLY because he has to pay child support for it, & he refuses to speak to me - when we do it turns into an argument. I'm pretty sure that once my daughter is here I'll be hit with some sort of legal mumbo jumbo that he's initiated.

My question is this: Who do I talk to about what I can legally do after the baby is born? I want to get this in order BEFORE she arrives in 3 months.

Legal Aid isn't much help and I'm considering calling an attorney for a consultation to hopefully get more guidance. I cannot afford legal fees.

I want to know what MY rights are, what HIS rights are, and what happens immediately after my child is born. If he's listed on the bc does that automatically give him rights? Can I refuse to let him see her until there is a court ordered agreement? Can this be done mutually between the baby's father & I BEFORE she's born?

What offices do I contact and about which issues?

Thanks so much.
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Still in Love



Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Posts: 216
State or Province: California

PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 9:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear... you can't do a thing till the baby is born. The courts do not see your child as a child until it takes its first breath... you can hire an attorney and have all the papers drawn up and have them ready and waiting and contact your attorney the moment your child is born to have them file them in court asking for custody and support, but you really have no standing now since there is no baby to do anything with.

If you don't put the father's name on the BC then you are only prolonging the time period of waiting, and until paternity is established, he doesn't have to pay support, and if you deny him visitation during the time that paternity is being established, the courts will not look kindly on it.

He can go in there and say... I wanted to see the baby, but the mother is being uncooperative... and that he wants custody.

If you want money, you are going to have to establish paternity, his name will automatically go on the BC at that time... he can also sue you for paternity and not only have his name put on the BC, but petition the courts to legally change the child's last name to reflect his last name.

As soon as his name is on the BC, he has just as much rights as you do.

Your best bet is to learn to be civil, always be nice and kind and never let him see you pissed off... and then get all pissed after you hang up the phone. If you breast feed the baby it will cut down and stall the time it will take him to have unsupervised visits since the baby's food is your body and he will need to see the baby with you.

My best advise is to go and have a free consultation with a family law attorney in your area... see if they will work with a payment plan... and do your best to realise that although you are carrying the baby it is not just yours no matter how dumb the dad is acting. He doesn't have any legal obligation to you at all... and the government does not consider your pregnancy to be a child till it is born and then the dad has 50% responsibility.
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KendraK



Joined: 16 Mar 2008
Posts: 20
State or Province: Illinois

PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 1:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Im in a very simular situation as well. What i was a little confused about here was with the birth certificate. If his name is on it does that mean I have to use his last name as the childs? I hold the insurance for the child and I through Medicade right now and will be breast feeding. I also have a home and he does not. He hasnt filed taxes since 2003 and has a very unstable lifestyle. I have no problem with visitation but I think he feels that he deserves 50/50 everything including alternating dependency.
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Still in Love



Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Posts: 216
State or Province: California

PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 1:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

No, even if his name is on the Birth certificate, you can give the baby your last name.

Most men do not realize that they can ask for the baby's name to be changed so they never do.
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KendraK



Joined: 16 Mar 2008
Posts: 20
State or Province: Illinois

PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 1:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

How does that work if he is there signing the birth certificate and Im writing down the baby name with my last name and he is freaking out about it. I feel he wants the baby to have his last name.
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Still in Love



Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Posts: 216
State or Province: California

PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 1:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It doesn't matter what he wants... you are not married. he can sign his part of the BC and you fill out the other part yourself. Actually all he will fill out is the Affidavit of Paternity stating his is the father, you fill out the paperwork for the birth certificate.

and you can tell him that the baby is having your name since you are not married, and you know you will always be there...

it doesn't matter anyway... you don't have to tell him anything. he can either fill out the forms to have his name on the BC, or you can sue for support, custody and paternity and the courts will put his name on the BC and 99.9 times out of a 100 the last name will still stay as yours.
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