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Looking for Options

 
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KendraK



Joined: 16 Mar 2008
Posts: 20
State or Province: Illinois

PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 1:03 pm    Post subject: Looking for Options Reply with quote

I'm 30 and almost 7mo. pregnant and my boyfriend just decided he is no longer in love with me and has moving out of my home. Times have been really tough financially, he has a 10yr old from a other relationship who he is struggling for visitation already and many other issues. I am emotional as is and he says he want to be a part of the child life but doesn't feel he need to do anything till the baby is born. He wants 50/50 split everything but he doesn't carry a stable job, lives at his sisters on the couch, doesn't keep a current insurance and is backed up with taxes since 2003. I'm worried. What are my rights regarding the birth certificate and with the baby's name. Can she carry my last name? I don't know where to start to try to work out some sort of visitation agreement.
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Still in Love



Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Posts: 216
State or Province: California

PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 1:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

you can give the baby any last name you want... yours his or smith if you want.

he only wants 50/50 split so that he doens't have to pay support. he is right that he doesnt' have to do a damn thing for you till the baby is born.

contact a lawyer, and get the papers ready to file... and then you can call the attorney from the hospital and have him file as soon as the baby is born. File for primary physical and legal custoday with dad having supervised visitation...

If you breast feed, all visitation will be at your home for short periods of time since you are your child's food source.
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KendraK



Joined: 16 Mar 2008
Posts: 20
State or Province: Illinois

PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 1:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I will be breast feeding because i herd it is less expensive and better for the baby to start. What is Primary Physical? He would eventually have unsupervised visits when the child got older do you know after how much time?
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Still in Love



Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Posts: 216
State or Province: California

PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 1:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

well, for the first year it would be supervised if you breast feed that long. then it will be day visits that he gets to take the baby with him, and you can transition to one overnight a month... and then later he could have the baby every other weekend friday to sunday with a 4 hour visit every week on one weekday evening. that is an 80/20 split. That is what my ex and I have.

I have primary physical custody of our son and he gets 20... but I am about to move out of state tomorrow reducing his time to 15%.

My ex and I have a pretty good co parenting relationship though.

If I were you... I would get a free consultation with a family law attorney in your area. find out what is fair and what you can live with ultimately.

I would as for primary physical and legal custody of the baby with short 2 hour supervised visits with you there(since you are breast feeding) for the first 3 months. maybe offer him 2 days a week to come over 2 hours. Also include his family allowing them to have one 2 hour visit as well. After 3 months, and you know how long the baby can go without breast milk... maybe offer him to come over for his 2 hour visit and you can leave him with the baby alone while you go food shopping or something to allow him to private bonding time.

(in reference to breastfeeding being cheaper, I would apply for WIC. Ask your OB-GYN for the forms they will put you on it now... you will get milk, juice, eggs, cereal, peanut butter and cheese for yourself from now till 6 months after your have the baby maybe longer with you breast feeding. And they will give the baby formula as well once you stop breast feeding if the baby is still too young for whole milk... or they will provide the milk and things for the baby.)

Once you stop breast feeding, he can start taking the baby out on his own for 4 to 6 hour visits and then extend them over time... and stuff. This is all something you should work out with an attorney if you can.
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