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Am I the only one???
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Momof3
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 6:32 pm    Post subject: Am I the only one??? Reply with quote

Am I the only mother that beleives that the father has a right to live too?? I am a mom of 3 kids, and newly remarried to a man that has 2 kids that he never sees. I am on both sides of the fence where child support is concerned. I truly feel that I am the only woman out there that beleives the father should have a right to NOT live in poverty also. I get ZERO child support for my children, it was my decision to leave a marriage of 13 years, so therefore my RESPONSIBILITY to take care of my children. My new husband on the other hand, was cheated on, lied to, and left with his children. Then she filed for divorce 8 months later, and he is stuck with child support FAR above his income. He is forced to pay it no matter what, because she is the MOTHER. The judge didnt/doesnt want to hear the circumstances, doesnt care what she does to the kids, and certainly doesnt care about how the father has to live to survive, working 2 jobs....This may not be the place to post this kind of thing....maybe I should be on the Father's Rights Board. Im just sick and tired of money hungry women that are too lazy to get a GOOD job and provide for their children. ESPECIALLY if they were the ones that chose to leave the marriage in the first place. Laws need to change.
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kdc422
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 6:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Whoa!!! I was beginning to think I was the only one out there with this opinion! You are right, as there are mothers out there who think of child support as their INCOME, when it is meant to be to HELP support a child. They forget that they have a financial obligation to support that child also! They expect to receive enough money to take care of all of the child's needs and if they don't, then they don't get enough! Your husband needs to get a new lawyer and go back to court. What state are you in?
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clarissa ann gayton
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 6:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

im sorry ladies, but something is very wrong with this pitcher!o.k. let me explain it this way
MAN;WOMEN......CHILD.this child is a result from
both people;therefore,both people should be responsible for raising that child.just because you were unhappy and did not want to be married anymore,doesnt mean he is no longer responsible
for his child/children.so you are telling me that if my husband beat me on a daily basis,and
i decided to leave the marriage,he should get out his support responsibility?? people leave marriages all the time,but it doesnt mean you leave your children or the responsibility of helping support them
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clarissa ann gayton
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 6:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

by the way; i am on your side here!just wise up and take your ex to court today
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clarissa ann gayton
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 6:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

sorry,but i also forgot to mention that i am a single mother of 7 month old twin girls; a 3 year old son, and a 5 year old son.i live in my own house;work a full time job, and have been in nursing school for almost 2 years.im not money hungry;just would like some help with my children so i could give them an even better life than they already have.i dont mean to brag,but i am one of the best mothers on earth!!
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Mara
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 6:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sheesh...why did you go from one bad situation to another?? All the men in the world and you leave your husband to take up with a guy who is financially nailed to the wall for the next 15 odd years?
Forget about love!! Security is what matters most, for both you and the kids. You're being irresponsible towards your own children. If your ex won't support them, it would have been WISE to find a stepfather who could/would!

I bet you help him pay the support to his kids, don't you?
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only2sunshines
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 6:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

How would you expect this lady to have some common sense in making the right decision for her children? She's having a hard enough time spelling. It's obvious he's depending on her income to pay his CS. Wonder how her children feel knowing their father doesn't contribute financially and their mother is contributing in the raising of someone else's kids?
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CLARISSA GAYTON
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 6:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

EXCUSE ME "GIRLS", BUT THAT WAS JUST AN
EXAMPLE! IT DID NOT PERSONALLY HAPPEN TO ME;
HOWEVER, I DO KNOW A LADY THAT IT HAPPEN TO!
AND AS FAR AS MY SPELLING GOES...CANT YOU READ?
THE KEY WORD HERE IS "SINGLE"! AND I DONT PAY
ANYONES BILLS OR CHILD SUPPORT FOR THEM!
IF YOU MUST KNOW,MY SONS FATHER PASSED AWAY,
THAT IS THE ONLY REASON I MET SOMEONE ELSE!BEFORE
YOU START PUTTING ME DOWN! UNDERSTAND WHAT IS BEING SAID.....CLARISSA
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Teena26
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 6:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Women Please! My best friend and I are sitting here reading the above statement and comments. For one. We are single Mothers. One of 3 and the other of 2. We both are very hard working and have very good income alone. But deal with dads who feel that paying ANYTHING for their kids is not something of importance. I don't understand why a women with her own children who does NOT get any money, seems to think that the state is maken her NEW husband pay too much for his OTHER children. If he does not make that much, he needs to start looking into another profession that pays more, so you can have some of his money also. Or maybe you need a better paying job yourself. If at 26 my best friend and I can do it, I am sure you can also. I do not blame the other women for wanting all that money, in the end the parent who has custody pays more out anyways. Think about it. 20 something percent of a person weekly check does NOT equal what a mother pays a week for her own children. You need to think about taken your ex husband to court and getting all that backpay and current pay, before you go and down talk a SMART women for getting what she rightfully deserves. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and deal with what you chose. If you dont like it, than move on sister and find a man that has NO kids and his whole check can go to you, and your 3!!! Love dont make the world go round, money does. Make your ex pay and your current needs to find a better job......Teena and Bridgette
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Fred
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 6:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

How about another angle at this: Why do people have kids, THEN think about the future? I spent around 30 years dating & never had a kid. It's called "responsibility". Even at a young age, I knew that recklessly throwing myself into bed affected more than only my sex partner and me. Even if you're married, THINK ABOUT THE FUTURE! Make sure you will stay together and plan for the added expense for the next 20-plus years (at least)! I am in a relationship with a woman who has three kids. Dad is lazy and would rather spend more hours trying to create ways to get out of paying support than it would take to actually pay it. And I honestly think my girlfriend would not do her part in taking care of the kids if I were not doing it for her. I am working hard to take care of these kids, because I don't feel anyone else would...neither grandparents or parents. And, if I were not in this relationship, I would STILL be supporting these and other kids through welfare! THINK, PEOPLE!!!
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Teena26
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 6:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not all single mothers leave the responiblity of raising there kids to others. I am a single mother of three and I raise them with out help. And just because a man does not pay child support does not mean every single mother in the world is on welfare. I work hard every day and so do my other friends who are single mothers and none of us are welfare cases. I do think that every one should think before they have kids but unless you are a physic you can not tell the future. I give you credit for raising someone eles kids but you got into the relationship knowing that she had kids and if you were going to stay you would have a part in raising them.
Teena
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barbara
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 6:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Fred
Why are you in this relationship if you think your girlfriend would not take care of her children without you? In fact you say she is not taking care of them but you are. You have nothing good to say about the grandparents either. What is your point? What are you after being on a mothers message board?
Just curious
Barbara
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fred
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 6:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

in answer to a few of those questions. i was brought to this message board through a search engine. i was searching for direction...i do believe i should have never entered this relationship and am now wondering if i should leave. if so, i am taking into consideration how it will affect the kids (u know how sorry us men are). by the way...the search term which brought me here was "money hungry women". :p
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barbara
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 6:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just goes to show what men and fathers rights are trying to do. It will work for awhile, but not for long. Thank you for the insight, yes I know how sorry you men are (money hungry women proves it).
Barbara
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suzanne29
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 6:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Momof3 et al - The reason the child exists is that two people came together to create her. Spiritually, having a child or not having a child isn't really a choice unless some kind of agreement is made with the child before birth. So, there is this baby...If the mother, who is physically bonded to the child, can't afford to take care of baby, then the father has to help. If these payments are too high, then do something about it. So much time is wasted being angry at one side or the other side for being pregnant in the first place. Taking responsibility means negotiation if that's what the situation calls for. I am suspicious of an attitude that calls for a change in the law, which affects EVERYONE, rather than an attitude that calls for a change within a personal situation. I don't feel like that's a healthy response to an unhealthy situation. Do you see how your anger will hurt other people?
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