Joined: 05 Sep 2008
State or Province: Illinois
|Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 4:36 pm Post subject: My name is Beth...
|I am about to petition the court YET again for Full custody on my 15 year old son. I have been fighting in our court system for about 13 years now.
Let me start out by saying I have a joint parenting agreement (court order). That states, I have joint custody of my son. His father is the custodial parent. I am supposed to enjoy, telephone contact Monday and Thursday nights at a “specified time”. Because his father “step mother” refused to have him available for me to talk to him EVER. My order also states that the telephone contact between us can be recorded. To clear up the he said she said baloney. They are supposed to give me any contact information to be able to reach my son. I am also supposed to have parental time ANY time I am in the state of California with reasonable notification. I Live in Illinois. Every other Christmas, every other Thanksgiving and for a period during summer vacation my son is supposed to be able to stay with me.
For seven years I fought his father to allow me to have a relationship with my son. For every step forward I got… it was always 2 steps back. I have always followed my court order to the tee. His father on the other hand flat out refused to follow the orders.
I have gone round and round in the court system. Every time they refused to follow the orders… I had to take them back to court. The judge would slap their hands and tell them not to do it again, with no “real consequences”. So as you can imagine they just did the same thing over and over.
Thousands of dollars, many tears and a second divorce caused by the extreme emotional distress and financial burden, I had to take a step back. I was now a single parent and have two other children that I am financially responsible for. I also pay child support for my youngest son.
The last time I went to court (6years ago) I had to go without legal representation, because I couldn’t afford it!
I have not seen my son for six years. I had not talked to my son for 5 years. The last time I spoke to my son was a week before Christmas 2004. I called every Tuesday and Thursday at the specified time they never answered the phone. They did not have an answering machine or voice mail, so I couldn’t leave a message. Between July and November of 2006, they changed their number and did not inform me. I sent letters to their home that were returned to me saying “not at this address”.
As you can imagine I have been beside myself not knowing where or how to get a hold of my son.
Two years ago ( Aug. 2006), after years of trying to locate my son through internet searches etc. I opened a Myspace page hoping that my son would look for me and I could look for him. Every pre teen I know has a myspace page. I posted a message for him. Telling him how much I love him and miss him. Every time I logged on I would do a search for him or his older sister (father’s first marriage). Two weeks ago yesterday I found his 21 yr. old sister and to my amazement standing next to her in the profile picture was my son. I sent his sister a letter pouring my heart out. She responded to me and, forwarded all of my information to my son.
For almost two weeks now my son and I have been in contact via correspondence through the internet. Any time his father and his step-mother are gone he contacts me. According to him and his sister his life has been a living hell. We have set up an internet phone number for him to contact me from. Because in his word and his sister’s words “ If the ever find out there will be hell to pay”….
According to him there isn’t physical abuse. They tell him I am a liar and I just want his dad’s money.
I can assure you. I have never been arrested. Have never abused my children or been accused of abuse by my children. I have no history of drug or alcohol abuse. I am just a victim of our justice system.
Help me please… I want to have a relationship with my son and he wants one with me.