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Some Things I Can't Just Accept

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Joined: 26 Sep 2008
Posts: 2
State or Province: California

PostPosted: Fri Sep 26, 2008 10:00 pm    Post subject: Some Things I Can't Just Accept Reply with quote

Bare with me because this is going to be long. I am a single mother of one 19 month old little girl. Her father and I were not together when I became pregnant and I in fact will be very honest in saying that we barely knew one another. He didn't have anything to do with me while I was pregnant because he claimed she wasn't his even though there was never a doubt in my mind. We got a paternity test done when she was 2 months old. It proved me right. He saw her twice in the first year of her life. Then suddenly he wants something to do with her when she is almost 15 months old and I have been put through hell and back by the California court system ever since.

Should I have been more careful? Probably. But I wouldn't have the wonderful little girl I have today. I supported my daughter ALONE financially for the first 11 months of her life, not to mention I took care of her every single day while working at the same time because I worked from home. I always made sure she was loved and that she was always well taken care of. What I can't understand is why none of that plays a role in what happens in the court room in this state. I did everything right from the beginning even after being told to get an abortion and being told more or less that he thought I was a whore and that it wasnt his. I still did right by our child and gave her a wonderful life without his help. I did it because I love her.

Does any of it matter? Does it make a difference to a judge? No. Of course not. He should be handed all of my hard work and love on a gold plated silver platter in no time flat. Why is that? How is that seen as being fair? Suddenly he cares OH SO MUCH about her and just because he says so he should have rights to her? Suddenly he wants to just start being able to leave with her. I still barely know him and the only kind of communication I have received from his family has been negative such as his mother telling me how ugly she was.

I am suppose to just accept this as if it is nothing? I can't do it. I don't know what to do at this point. I have spent excessive amounts of money on attorneys all of whom tell me that I am more or less screwed and that he will eventually get what he wants. I cannot accept that this is suppose to be the life my daughter leads. I can't watch as he takes everything away from me.

On top of it all I have found out very disturbing things such as the fact that his brother is a convicted child molester (who is currently in jail). He ADMITTED to molesting a 7 year old. He is ordered to stay away from his own children. He is located in Oregon but I know for a fact that he has been back and forth to his brothers home because he has no where else to go since he is not allowed to live where his children and his wife live. This information was concealed from me. I had to hire a private investigator to find it out.

I am so scared of what more I might find out. They just keep telling me that I have to accept that this crap is going to happen and WAIT until something bad happens to her. They won't prevent it. I am just suppose to wait for it to happen and then stop it. I am starting to break. I just can't handle it anymore and I don't know what to do. Someone please give me some advice as to how to stop this from ever happening.
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