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facing the step mom for the 1st time

 
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praying mommy



Joined: 07 Aug 2009
Posts: 7
State or Province: Texas

PostPosted: Fri Aug 07, 2009 2:44 am    Post subject: facing the step mom for the 1st time Reply with quote

My ex moved in with another female when our baby was bout 7mosold. They have a baby already and our baby is 15mos old! we had already been separated and I never want to be with him. However, because of the child support system I have been very stressed about another woman being around my baby.

I know there are million sof people in my shoes but I have never me the woman. My ex doesn't communicate with me during his visits. I feel awkward about meeting this girl but maybe she could be the person to make things smoother.

How to I meet her or approach her? How do I let her know I am not about drama and I want to communicate with her about my baby. I feel so embarassed, hurt, angry, and stressed. HOw do I deal with this?
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nycmomma510



Joined: 21 Aug 2009
Posts: 2
State or Province: New York

PostPosted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 11:11 am    Post subject: Been there.... Reply with quote

Hi...while my ex doesn't live w/his girlfriend or have another child, I was confronted with the issue of meeting her. Basically, they wanted to take my son, who was 3 (now 3.5) away for a long weekend. My son has not spent more than one night away from home, so that was my 1st concern. However, I told my ex that BEFORE I would agree to anything I needed to meet this person who wanted to go on vacation with my child.

It took FOREVER; she fought me, via email! It was horrible! She did everything she could to be obnoxious, rude, etc. She even used the swine flu as an excuse not to ride a commuter train into NYC. UNREAL. Finally, she came here, and it was OK. I mean, she's 15 years younger than my ex, and was pretty cold/obnoxious, but whatever.

The bottom line is that I can't stop her from being around my child, but at least I know who she is, what she's about, and can combat the issues, help my son deal if he needs to. He doesnt really mention her, so I dont think she's that big of an influence.

MY ADVICE: Do whatever you need to in order to meet this girl. This is YOUR child, NOT hers, and she has ZERO rights to make parenting decisions about your child.

Good luck!
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