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no contact with son for 10 yrs and I pay child support

 
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michelle h



Joined: 04 Sep 2009
Posts: 1
State or Province: Colorado

PostPosted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 1:48 pm    Post subject: no contact with son for 10 yrs and I pay child support Reply with quote

I am new to this, so bare with please. My name is Michelle and 11 yrs ago I moved to Calif and had a kid. The father is quite a few yrs younger then me and his parents are my brothers age. Well, we had a kid...after he was born I was going to school and working full time while the dad sometimes did day labor and sat around smoked weed and drank beer. Needless to say our relationship was falling apart and I was taking on the full load of EVERYTHING. Now, in his parents eyes he did NOTHING wrong and he would go to them with all of OUR problems. When I finally had had enough I was trying to leave with both the baby and my 5 yr old son and they showed up in their vehicle and proceeded to get us in their vehicle. They pretended to care and understand what I was going through...so like a dumb *&%# I let them take the kids (which was only supposed to be temporary) so we could work on getting a place, we were living in a hotel at this time.They said they needed a letter of permission from me so that they could take the baby and my son to the doctors, etc... so I wrote out a letter and a cpl days later they came back and said no that wasnt going to work and had a social worker draw up "permission" papers for this. Well, like a trusting FOOL I was I signed the papers with out reading them first and come to find out they were gaurdianship papers..my bad...TOTALY...NEVER sign anything with out reading it first...HARD lesson to learn.SO after that..I was no longer allowed to see my children..but the dad was...after awhile things got from bad to worse in Cali and I moved back home to Colorado, with out my kids..even though my five year old was not biologically theirs. My folks are the ones that got him back, took almost a year, but they got him. The baby stayed.So, after years of trying to write, send cards etc... I have had NO contact with this kid in ten years. Last time I saw him was his 1 year birthday, he turned 11 in July.I found out little over a year ago that they had moved from Cali to Washington sate a cpl years ago...I found out when my wages were being garnished for child support.Cali and Washin gton both were collecting taking almost 200 dollars a week out of my check.Now, I am a single mom, I have my son who is 17, and I get support for him. I also have a 7 yr old daughter whom I DONT get support for (another story) I am also recieving state benefits..food stamps and medicade.I am trying so hard here to survive and support my kids and am I wrong when I feel I am being "screwed" by having to pay support for a kid that not by MY choice I have had no contact with? And where the hell is the dad? Cali is saying I owe them almost 40,000 in back child support...OMG...I cant complete college because they will take my certificate, if and when I ever wanted to leave the country..I am grounded because I cannot get a passport and the whole bottom line is it is taking away from my family here! The granparents have lived on welfare/state assistance for over 20 yrs, how they do it I dont know. I have tried to get consultations from attorneys in Cali...but nobody wants to try to help...one attorney in particular was EXTREMELY rude and told me I have an obligation and I need to quit being selfish and get it together...WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!? I do not want to try to fight for custody of the kid, I dont know him and god only knows what he knows about me...if he even doen know who I am. What would that do to him? I dont have the money to try to fight for custody..and I am just not in the posistion to even take that route. I had no buisness having another kid when I moved to Cali, but I was trying to "appease the masses" so to speak. I was pretty meek and vunerable when I moved out there...let me tell you..I am no longer that way...it changed me forever..I lost a child and it hurt to the core.I am just beyond stressed over here and just dont know what to do, who to turn to. Family and friends do not understand cause they havnt experienced what I have. I am sorry for the long post. I just had to get it off my mind and chest.Any replys, comments,suggestions etc...I am open for anything...thank you for taking the time to read my post!!!!!
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