Joined: 22 Oct 2009
State or Province: New Jersey
|Posted: Thu Oct 22, 2009 7:28 pm Post subject: My husband is getting the shaft from his exwife
|We live in NJ and my husbands ex lives in De - In the state of De child support stops if the child is 18 and graduated. So we should of stop paying support 4 months ago instead the mother is fighting for it to continue because when she left my husband 15 years ago - she had him pay child support in cash before the divorce. I might add that at that point she didn't even file for child support until 2 years later when she filed for divorce. At that time when support was through the courts support was cheaper then the $1500 a month she was getting in cash. Now that support is suppose to stop she is demanding another 2 years for the 2 years she got in cash. This is a joke - first of all he already paid it and now it's 13 years later. She has drug us in court 4 times now and still they say she has the right to file but our original support still comes out every week.
My husbands ex was so bad it was awful. My husband paid 75% of the living expenses at his ex home on top of the 100% at ours, private schooling and 75% of childcare. When was it the mothers turn to support her child? Now the daughter just started college and in the state of DE the father doesn't have to pay - but we are going to court again in a week because now she is trying to move her order from DE to NJ because NJ makes fathers pay support until the child finishes college and also the father has to pay half of college.
If she purchases anything for this daughter she demands my husband to give her half the cost. She nags him so much for money he quit going to any of his daughters events because the mother would corner him and start yelling she wanted him to pay her money or complain he needs to pay more. At that point the court had him paying $1350.00 per month and she says it wasn't enough to cover all the daughter expenses, not to mention we paid 100% of the private school cost of $14,000 a year and covered her on medical and my husband always had to take her out shopping for clothes because the mother complained she didn't get enough support. As the child hit her teens we were sending care packages over to the daughter with shampoo, trash bags, soap, tooth paste, pad and so on because the mother again complained she didn't get enough suspport.
We were paying for everything from support, clothes, basic needs and school. So we are fighting to try and have support stopped. We don't feel we should pay for college since that state doesn't make the father pay and also we covered almost all the daughters needs her entire life.
The mother does nothing but complain about my husband to everyone, calls him a dead beat dad, tells everyone in his family he refuses to help her and mails us nasty letters telling him he's a awful dad and he doesn't love his daughter because he wouldn't offer college. Now the daughter won't talk to him because he wants to stop support and doesn't want to pay college - She told him "her mother needs that money". She works and has a good job too.
My husband has never missed 1 payment - I wouldn't call him a dead beat father. We kept monthly records of all the things we purchased for the daughter and every year the cost went higher and higher. By the time the daughter graduated in June 09 we were putting out $2750 per month just for her. When she graduated we cut back and stop send care packages and stop buying clothes and now we don't have a private school bill we are just tring to get support stopped.
So not all dads get everything - Because my husband and I have good jobs we get hit with everything. The mother even wanted me to take away from my son to give my money to the daughter. She told me "I needed to pay the extras when he didn't have it". Now the daughter is acting just like the mother and is mad we don't want to give her a allowance for college - she asked my husband for $1,000 per month. When he came home and told me that "I was hot". I told him she's an adult and it's time she gets a job. I also told him if he gave them another dime I would divorce him. The daughter drives around in a brand new Mustang, has her hair and nails done every week and eats out every day - I think it's time she learns the value of a dollar and start to earn her own money. I put my foot down and told my husband NO ALLOWANCE.